A quick history: I am currently living in NY, but am set to move to Indiana in June. I have 2 sons with my ex husband, he has stayed in Indiana. We have joint custody with me having full physical custody. My oldest son, (11) has really been going down the wrong road in the last year or so. He has been on several medications, lashing out, violent, and just out of control. At the end of Feb. his father and I decided that he should go live with him just to see if he could do better at his home (I have 3 other children and they have none) so he went there. We did not change anything legally, because it is a trial, I have been sending him 1/2 of the paid CS back for him to use with my oldest son. And I keep the other 1/2 for our other son. Today I got a modified custody order in the mail. Changing physical custody to him, I didn't want to do this since it was a "trial" and i was not sure if he would do better or worse there with his dad, but felt I had to try it. His grades have improved, but since I'm moving there in June, I still do not want to change this over. His father spanks him, which I DO NOT like at all, and when I went to visit him 2 weeks ago, he had a bruise from a spanking with the belt. I made his clear, if he was spanked in that manner again he'd be back in NY within 24 hours, and my ex agreed. I don't mind signing the paper to say the 1/2 of the CS no longer comes out of his checks, but I do not want to give physical custody to him. My thinking is what if he is no better, then I would just rather have him live with- me, and maybe i can find a ROTC or something like that for him to help. I have NEVER been away from him, and it killed me to even make the decision, but he was running away from home, school, fighting, was hospitalized for threats to kill himself, diagnosis'd as Bipolar, it's been just an uphill battle When I talked to him tonight I told him I would sign a paper about the CS but NOT the custody because this was meant to be a trial, and 9 wks is not long enough for me to say with certainity that he is doing better there. Ex wasn't too happy (I think these moves comes from his new wife) but I'm just not sure why he's doing this. It seems odd how we agreed to this trial and now he's in a rush to legally change things over. I really believe it has to do with the fact that when I saw he spanked him with a belt and I told him if I EVER saw or heard of another bruise on him he would be back with me immediatly. So I feel like this is a way to cover his own tush. He said he would talk to his attny again and see what she said and let me know. I want what is best for my son, and IF he's doing wonderful there, grades improve and behavior improves, then I would do that, but after 9 wks he's still in a honeymoon period there. He's only seen his dad for 9 wks a year, so it's party house when he's there usually. I don't even think he's comfortable enough to display behavior like he did here.