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<blockquote data-quote="BusynMember" data-source="post: 227464" data-attributes="member: 1550"><p>Hun, go to a Nar-Anon meeting or an Al-anon. You and hub will get GREAT support and wisdom in person. You don't know how hard it was for me to kick out my daughter. I thought she'd be walking the streets. I didn't know she had called my son and that he had reluctantly agreed to let her live in his basement as long as she towed the line there. And he made no bones about it that she'd be out on her "A" if she even smoked one cigarette in his house. He expected her to do chores, get a job and walk there, and pay rent. He was tougher on her than we ever were, but she responded to him because she knew he meant it rather than us with our guilt and sometimes empty threats. She had nobody to hang around with, in her new state, other than him and his geek friends...lol. Nobody even drank. She had no bad influences on the streets, and she knew that if she left the house after hours or the police got her for anything, she'd also be gone with nowhere to go. It worked! If she HADN'T had a brother who was willing to give her one last chance, we still would have made her leave. We have two younger kids and the constant chaos and visits from the police and seeing her in handcuffs a few times was traumatizing them. They didn't need that. We were willing to get her help, but she refused it. In Nar-anon we were convinced that the kindest thing we could do for her was to make her responsible for her own behavior and that any money or comforts we gave her was enabling her. I think they were very wise people <img src="data:image/gif;base64,R0lGODlhAQABAIAAAAAAAP///yH5BAEAAAAALAAAAAABAAEAAAIBRAA7" class="smilie smilie--sprite smilie--sprite2" alt=";)" title="Wink ;)" loading="lazy" data-shortname=";)" /> Some were ex-addicts themselves. Today, my daughter's motto is "Never trust a drug addict. EVER." She is clean now. It has been about six years.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="BusynMember, post: 227464, member: 1550"] Hun, go to a Nar-Anon meeting or an Al-anon. You and hub will get GREAT support and wisdom in person. You don't know how hard it was for me to kick out my daughter. I thought she'd be walking the streets. I didn't know she had called my son and that he had reluctantly agreed to let her live in his basement as long as she towed the line there. And he made no bones about it that she'd be out on her "A" if she even smoked one cigarette in his house. He expected her to do chores, get a job and walk there, and pay rent. He was tougher on her than we ever were, but she responded to him because she knew he meant it rather than us with our guilt and sometimes empty threats. She had nobody to hang around with, in her new state, other than him and his geek friends...lol. Nobody even drank. She had no bad influences on the streets, and she knew that if she left the house after hours or the police got her for anything, she'd also be gone with nowhere to go. It worked! If she HADN'T had a brother who was willing to give her one last chance, we still would have made her leave. We have two younger kids and the constant chaos and visits from the police and seeing her in handcuffs a few times was traumatizing them. They didn't need that. We were willing to get her help, but she refused it. In Nar-anon we were convinced that the kindest thing we could do for her was to make her responsible for her own behavior and that any money or comforts we gave her was enabling her. I think they were very wise people ;) Some were ex-addicts themselves. Today, my daughter's motto is "Never trust a drug addict. EVER." She is clean now. It has been about six years. [/QUOTE]
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