Here we go again!

Discussion in 'General Parenting' started by cmfout, Jul 8, 2011.

  1. cmfout

    cmfout Guest

    Big upset with difficult child. He was so looking forward to our move because of a girl he knows in that town. Now? Not so much. It seems my nephew, his own cousin, went behind his back and "took" the girl from him. Nice. Yeah.
    So now Jacob is moody, angry, very easily set off. He's heartbroken and doesn't seem to care one way or the other about the move. Sunday will be our first night in the new place.
    All of the stress and upheaval, and now heartbreak associated with the move have affected him in a way I don't know how to handle. He's being extremely demanding and very angry when he doesn't get what he wants. He seems to think that he can make all the decisions for both of us and for our new home - even for my home business. When I tell him it's not going to happen that way, he gets mad and starts yelling and calling me names. Not being exactly abusive, but very disrespectful. It's not physical at all, thankfully.
    How do you handle this entitlement nonsense? I know losing my temper with him isn't the answer, but it's getting harder and harder to hold onto it.
     
  2. InsaneCdn

    InsaneCdn Well-Known Member

    <sigh>
    {{hugs}}

    Moving is one of the most stressful experiences in life.
    For you.
    For him.
    For your business.
    Teenage relationship problems are highly stressful, especially when things go "wrong".

    You're stressed out. He's stressed out. And every "little" thing becomes huge. For both of you.

    But both of you WILL get through it. You just have to hang in there.

    In this case? I think I'd have to re-think my own thinking... pick your battles, get through the move, start getting settled in.
    What matters the most is to get back to "stability" so everyone's stress level goes down.

    But you do need lots of {{hugs}}. For both of you.

    Wish I could come sling some boxes for you... but its a bit too far!
     
  3. DammitJanet

    DammitJanet Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Id tell him he is responsible for his room and his room only. Let him go do whatever in there but the rest is up to you. I dont handle argumentative teens well. Maybe he should do outside stuff too. Or find him outside stuff to do if he doesnt stop arguing. I would tell him that arguing means outside chores.
     
  4. Wiped Out

    Wiped Out Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Cathy,
    Sending some hugs your way-I hope things calm down soon.
     
  5. cmfout

    cmfout Guest

    Thanks for the replies. We seem to have moved past the arguing, into telling me what to do, when to do it, how to do it, and thinking he can yell at me for standing my ground. I honestly don't know how much more I can take before I snap.
    Today was a great example. I headed to the old place early to work on getting the rest of our things packed up and ready to move. He chose to stay at the new place where there's no internet, cable - or anything else for him to do, really. He called me a couple times after I left, wanting me to go straight back there because he's bored. Then he calls and wants me to pick up 2 of his friends (one who's father has a restraining order against my son!), take them 20 miles out to the new place so they could hang out for a few hours, then go back there to get them and take them home again. And he thought it was ok to yell at me and call me names because I absolutely refused to do it!
    This kid is going to give me a stroke one of these days!
     
  6. tessaturtle

    tessaturtle New Member

    Sending thoughts your way! We have not moved, but our difficult child acts extremely entitled and I am just as much at a loss as to how to deal with it. Sorry I can't give you advice, but know that I am with you :)
     
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