difficult child and I had an exciting visit today since it's our first one after finding out he gets released earlier than expected. Apparently, his behavioral counselor called the judge and got permission to release him two weeks early- I don't quite get why because it's only 2 weeks so unless the facility just needed to make more room, why wouldn't they just keep him the other two weeks? Anyway, this works for us so we aren't complaining. As far as expectations when he comes home, he knows he'll have chores that include the ones he used to have plus his laundry and I have some projects for him to do to help repay for my cost in this and repair to the damage he'd done to the house. No complaints from him so far on this. We both simultaneously had this idea about his schedule for homework, free time, etc, and I'm thinking it's a great starting place for a difficult child his age transitioning back home- he will think of a daily schedule to propose to me, write it down, and we will discuss it for my approval. Neither of us intend this to be as detailed as Department of Juvenile Justice- like saying from 4:45-6:00 homework will be done, but homework will be done before free time, as an example. I think this gives him responsibility and freedom both while letting him do some problem solving. As long as he can live by that responsibly, I have no reason to step into it; if grades go down or bad choices are being made, I will step into it. He will get a small amount of money upon his release- I think they earn $9 per month they are in. He has to use part of that (not all) to help buy new clothes. He can buy the clothes he wants as long as they are appropriate for school. He doesn't know it yet but I am putting together one gift box for him that will have underwear and a few shirts and a pair of sweats (that look nothing like Department of Juvenile Justice sweats) in it, plus a gift certificate to the mall so the shopping he will do can be for things he cares most about- shoes and jeans and a few more shirts. And so the first night he's home, he can take a long shower and put on new, washed underwear that isn't by Bob Barker. LOL! I need to define the consequences for things he does wrong- most we have discussed but I need to cover them better. I need to make sure he knows up front that this time, if he gets a CC out of my purse and uses it to get porn online in the middle of the night- he's being reported to the PO and he can figure out a way to pay me back- no matter what his consequences are. The other things- if it's a violation against a house rule, he'll have consequences at home only. If it's a PO violation only, I'll report it to PO. Of course as always, if he breaks a law orr becomes violent with me, I;m skipping the PO and calling the police. And too strict or not, I'm not giving in on expecting to know who he's with, what he's doing (in general), and the time he'll be home. I give him that consideration, his family will expect it of him when he's grown and the husband/father, he can do it for me now. Period. If he chooses friends who are known to do drugs or otherwise break the law, I have no idea to handle that one. We can't, as parents, choose all our teen's friends. But we shouldn't turn a blind eye either. So what do you do in that situation?? Maybe I can tell him that I reserve the right to step in on his freedom under these circumstances- the same as he knows I'll step in on his privacy if I'm concerned about his well-being and I'll step in on his schedule if grades drop or he can't get up for school, etc. Thoughts?? More ideas on things I haven't thought about yet??