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<blockquote data-quote="New Leaf" data-source="post: 681874" data-attributes="member: 19522"><p>I am so sorry Worried. I am sending big understanding hugs to you. I know it is not much comfort for this heartache. I am so sorry. I know the shock of seeing an adult child in the throes of addiction. Back when I saw my eldest for the first time in many months, I did not recognize her. It is a shock to the soul. I was mortified and very scared.</p><p></p><p>The biggest thing that has helped me is prayer. If that is your way, it is very soothing.</p><p>I like how Copa phrased it "decide to survive." It does no good for your son if you bear the weight of his choices and become ill yourself.</p><p>I am sorry, there is no way to sugar coat this and make it better. It is the deepest grieving we go through. Please take the time you need to feel what you feel. It is good that you are already seeing a counselor. It helped me to see what was going on and to try to figure out ways to cope. Posting really helps, because you are writing out your thoughts and feelings, and receiving responses from caring people who have been in similar situations. This journey we are on with each other is difficult. I think it is one of the hardest things known to mankind.</p><p>Please know that you are not alone.</p><p>One day, one step at a time.</p><p>You have value and you matter. I know you want more for your son, as we all do for our adult children out there. It seems contrary to live well, while our kids flounder and make these terrible choices. The children we raised with so many hopes and dreams are still there, locked up inside this addiction. They will still look to us, to be examples for them. I do believe that as we lift ourselves up above and beyond the devastation of this, we are doing the very best thing for them, we are on the rocky, jagged cliffs, withstanding the pounding surf and roughest weather, shining a beacon of light while our children navigate through the storm. There is always hope, though it may not seem so now, in your sorrow. There is always hope. Hold fast to that hope, keep your light shining. The way you care for yourself stands as a testimony to your son that he can rise above this, the same as you can. Hold on dear, we are all holding on with you.</p><p>(((Hugs)))</p><p>leafy</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="New Leaf, post: 681874, member: 19522"] I am so sorry Worried. I am sending big understanding hugs to you. I know it is not much comfort for this heartache. I am so sorry. I know the shock of seeing an adult child in the throes of addiction. Back when I saw my eldest for the first time in many months, I did not recognize her. It is a shock to the soul. I was mortified and very scared. The biggest thing that has helped me is prayer. If that is your way, it is very soothing. I like how Copa phrased it "decide to survive." It does no good for your son if you bear the weight of his choices and become ill yourself. I am sorry, there is no way to sugar coat this and make it better. It is the deepest grieving we go through. Please take the time you need to feel what you feel. It is good that you are already seeing a counselor. It helped me to see what was going on and to try to figure out ways to cope. Posting really helps, because you are writing out your thoughts and feelings, and receiving responses from caring people who have been in similar situations. This journey we are on with each other is difficult. I think it is one of the hardest things known to mankind. Please know that you are not alone. One day, one step at a time. You have value and you matter. I know you want more for your son, as we all do for our adult children out there. It seems contrary to live well, while our kids flounder and make these terrible choices. The children we raised with so many hopes and dreams are still there, locked up inside this addiction. They will still look to us, to be examples for them. I do believe that as we lift ourselves up above and beyond the devastation of this, we are doing the very best thing for them, we are on the rocky, jagged cliffs, withstanding the pounding surf and roughest weather, shining a beacon of light while our children navigate through the storm. There is always hope, though it may not seem so now, in your sorrow. There is always hope. Hold fast to that hope, keep your light shining. The way you care for yourself stands as a testimony to your son that he can rise above this, the same as you can. Hold on dear, we are all holding on with you. (((Hugs))) leafy [/QUOTE]
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