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<blockquote data-quote="Eryn" data-source="post: 681885" data-attributes="member: 20157"><p>trust me I know how you don't want to hear about detachment....very early on in my sons addiction to herion I went to an alanon meeting and the first thing a member said was "you've gotta kick him out now" without any explanation why this person was saying this to me I left and haven't gone back in 8 years of my sons addiction.</p><p></p><p>Fast forward 8 years and I'm still enabling and logically know I shouldn't but what my heart tells me to do always seems like the right decision (it's not). I am still struggling with my addiction which is fixing my sons addiction. As he is still using, now threatening suicide every other day.....he told me yesterday that I have no choice he either gets to move back home (after ANOTHER rehab and only a month at a sober house) or he's killing himself.</p><p></p><p>Now the only advice I can give you is yes help your son.....but first make sure that your help isn't a secret from the rest of your family (been there done that and it creates only issues with your husband) and that if he doesn't want the help or use the help as it was intended that you as his mother (fathers I feel make decisions based on logic more often than a mother who's fear and love MAY hinder decision making (if that sounds sexist I'm sorry but that's my experience)) need to understand that until he actually makes his own choices and deals with the consequences himself will truly never be helped the way that will stick with him the rest of his life.</p><p></p><p>I'm still waiting for my 26 year old son, who's fathered 2 beautiful children during his addiction to choose his kids over drugs.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Eryn, post: 681885, member: 20157"] trust me I know how you don't want to hear about detachment....very early on in my sons addiction to herion I went to an alanon meeting and the first thing a member said was "you've gotta kick him out now" without any explanation why this person was saying this to me I left and haven't gone back in 8 years of my sons addiction. Fast forward 8 years and I'm still enabling and logically know I shouldn't but what my heart tells me to do always seems like the right decision (it's not). I am still struggling with my addiction which is fixing my sons addiction. As he is still using, now threatening suicide every other day.....he told me yesterday that I have no choice he either gets to move back home (after ANOTHER rehab and only a month at a sober house) or he's killing himself. Now the only advice I can give you is yes help your son.....but first make sure that your help isn't a secret from the rest of your family (been there done that and it creates only issues with your husband) and that if he doesn't want the help or use the help as it was intended that you as his mother (fathers I feel make decisions based on logic more often than a mother who's fear and love MAY hinder decision making (if that sounds sexist I'm sorry but that's my experience)) need to understand that until he actually makes his own choices and deals with the consequences himself will truly never be helped the way that will stick with him the rest of his life. I'm still waiting for my 26 year old son, who's fathered 2 beautiful children during his addiction to choose his kids over drugs. [/QUOTE]
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