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<blockquote data-quote="Nancy" data-source="post: 515230" data-attributes="member: 59"><p>AG I don't think it will be that way at all. DDD it's awful that you were subjected to that. Most rehab centers do not allow that to happen. </p><p></p><p>I'll explain how ours worked and I have heard simialar stories from other places. Family program day consisted of a lot of education material, speakers and short film and then we broke into groups wirh just the family members and discussed what was going on in our lives. The center she was in had well over 100 men and women and each group was broken into anywhere from 8-15 families depending on how many showed that week.</p><p></p><p>After the family meeting, we got together with our difficult child's in the same group. Usually there was a reading and short discussion and then each family had their time with their member. We sat face to face in the middle of the room, holding hands, looking into each others eyes, difficult child and mom or dad or sibling, each member got their turn. difficult child was not allowed to say anything. The counselor explained that this as our time to tell them how their addiction has affected them. It was very emotional. It was interesting to watch the diferent difficult child's and how they reacted. If this was early in their stay they sometimes had little emotion or seemed angry but were not allowed to talk until the family member was finished and then it was very limited, they were not allowed to verbally abuse or vent at the family member. Most of the time the discussion on their part revolved around how long they would have to stay.</p><p></p><p>If this was not their first week and/or they have accepted the fact that they are there and have embraced the process, it is very emotional on everyones part, the family member gets a chance to tell how they feel and the difficult child usually breaks down and admits their problem and some things that are hard to hear that they have done that you may not know about.</p><p></p><p>The day was draining with a lot of tears. Not only did we cry with our difficult child but we cried listening to other families' stories. We had a two hour drive back and there was almost complete silience in our car between husband and I, we needed time to collect our emotions. Those family meetings were some of the most powerful days and I am so glad we participated.</p><p></p><p>We did eight of those family days. I wondered what would be different after the first one but found each one was just as productive and important as the last because of where difficult child was in the recovery process. We were able to discuss if we noticed difficult child was backtracking or not engaged or if something had happened that week to cause concern.</p><p></p><p>If those meetings had been a slam session on parents I would not have gone and would have questioned why we were paying all this money for that.</p><p></p><p>One other thing, the family program was free, it was included in the charge for the treatment.</p><p></p><p>Nancy</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Nancy, post: 515230, member: 59"] AG I don't think it will be that way at all. DDD it's awful that you were subjected to that. Most rehab centers do not allow that to happen. I'll explain how ours worked and I have heard simialar stories from other places. Family program day consisted of a lot of education material, speakers and short film and then we broke into groups wirh just the family members and discussed what was going on in our lives. The center she was in had well over 100 men and women and each group was broken into anywhere from 8-15 families depending on how many showed that week. After the family meeting, we got together with our difficult child's in the same group. Usually there was a reading and short discussion and then each family had their time with their member. We sat face to face in the middle of the room, holding hands, looking into each others eyes, difficult child and mom or dad or sibling, each member got their turn. difficult child was not allowed to say anything. The counselor explained that this as our time to tell them how their addiction has affected them. It was very emotional. It was interesting to watch the diferent difficult child's and how they reacted. If this was early in their stay they sometimes had little emotion or seemed angry but were not allowed to talk until the family member was finished and then it was very limited, they were not allowed to verbally abuse or vent at the family member. Most of the time the discussion on their part revolved around how long they would have to stay. If this was not their first week and/or they have accepted the fact that they are there and have embraced the process, it is very emotional on everyones part, the family member gets a chance to tell how they feel and the difficult child usually breaks down and admits their problem and some things that are hard to hear that they have done that you may not know about. The day was draining with a lot of tears. Not only did we cry with our difficult child but we cried listening to other families' stories. We had a two hour drive back and there was almost complete silience in our car between husband and I, we needed time to collect our emotions. Those family meetings were some of the most powerful days and I am so glad we participated. We did eight of those family days. I wondered what would be different after the first one but found each one was just as productive and important as the last because of where difficult child was in the recovery process. We were able to discuss if we noticed difficult child was backtracking or not engaged or if something had happened that week to cause concern. If those meetings had been a slam session on parents I would not have gone and would have questioned why we were paying all this money for that. One other thing, the family program was free, it was included in the charge for the treatment. Nancy [/QUOTE]
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