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<blockquote data-quote="Signorina" data-source="post: 500890"><p>I think it's too late to not let him in. unfortunately. With my easy child's in the house, it was more important to me to protect them than to go head to head with difficult child. Maybe a tactical mistake, but they come first for now. </p><p></p><p>H is still talking to him. H is usually pretty good at these things so I am hopeful. I think my calm lay down the law style was surprising (to me especially) but also crystal clear.</p><p></p><p>When difficult child was coming in the house - I held my husband and said "I DON'T WANT these ups and downs, I can't deal with them, I married YOU because I wanted a calmer life... He's back but for how long? When does he storm out again?"</p><p></p><p>(I think I mentioned I grew up in a loud, emotional household - no mental illness, no addiction, no excuse except OBNOXIOUS people)</p><p></p><p>More than once difficult child got snippy with me and H said "young man, you will not talk to your mother that way" which was really affirming to me - we will need to remember to turn to each other and not on each other in the days, weeks, years ahead. This has all ready strained my marriage too much.</p><p></p><p>I suspect I will be hanging about on the boards more often than not in the days ahead...I wish someone would give me a task to do here. Dust? Make dinner? Something?</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Signorina, post: 500890"] I think it's too late to not let him in. unfortunately. With my easy child's in the house, it was more important to me to protect them than to go head to head with difficult child. Maybe a tactical mistake, but they come first for now. H is still talking to him. H is usually pretty good at these things so I am hopeful. I think my calm lay down the law style was surprising (to me especially) but also crystal clear. When difficult child was coming in the house - I held my husband and said "I DON'T WANT these ups and downs, I can't deal with them, I married YOU because I wanted a calmer life... He's back but for how long? When does he storm out again?" (I think I mentioned I grew up in a loud, emotional household - no mental illness, no addiction, no excuse except OBNOXIOUS people) More than once difficult child got snippy with me and H said "young man, you will not talk to your mother that way" which was really affirming to me - we will need to remember to turn to each other and not on each other in the days, weeks, years ahead. This has all ready strained my marriage too much. I suspect I will be hanging about on the boards more often than not in the days ahead...I wish someone would give me a task to do here. Dust? Make dinner? Something? [/QUOTE]
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