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He's been kicked out of the shelter
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<blockquote data-quote="Scent of Cedar *" data-source="post: 643231" data-attributes="member: 17461"><p>I agree. </p><p></p><p>I am learning to separate what I can, and what I cannot, take responsibility for.</p><p></p><p>This is an important distinction.</p><p></p><p>I think it may be a distinction vital to my survival. It truly is a distinction that will determine how I see myself, as I continue to process difficult child daughter's beating and the part my own beginning detachment skills did or did not play in that ultimate outcome. </p><p></p><p>There was a mom here on the site once, who had put her addicted difficult child out. He was killed. The mother had a second son. He became an addict.</p><p></p><p>She put him out, too.</p><p></p><p>And that saved his life.</p><p></p><p>Sometimes, we have no choice. We know helping is hurting them in the long run.</p><p></p><p>And the rest is up to them.</p><p></p><p>But, yeah. Consequences in the real world are so much worse than an F. </p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p>I remember when I got that piece relative to difficult child son. That happened around the issue of verbal abuse. I've posted about it in other threads, so I won't go into the details. The issue I got though was that <em>I was disrespecting him</em> by assuming he could not control either his anger or his speech.</p><p></p><p>I am his mother. If I allow or tolerate certain behaviors or if I buy into the "I need money I can't do it I need help a phone a car...." on some level, difficult child son is going to believe those things about himself.</p><p></p><p>Here is my other thought on this piece: <em>Every mom tends to view her children like...like a mom views her children.</em></p><p></p><p>Those of us with difficult child children have to be stronger, and wiser, than that.</p><p></p><p>We have had to learn to be very strong, in so many ways.</p><p></p><p>Cedar</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Scent of Cedar *, post: 643231, member: 17461"] I agree. I am learning to separate what I can, and what I cannot, take responsibility for. This is an important distinction. I think it may be a distinction vital to my survival. It truly is a distinction that will determine how I see myself, as I continue to process difficult child daughter's beating and the part my own beginning detachment skills did or did not play in that ultimate outcome. There was a mom here on the site once, who had put her addicted difficult child out. He was killed. The mother had a second son. He became an addict. She put him out, too. And that saved his life. Sometimes, we have no choice. We know helping is hurting them in the long run. And the rest is up to them. But, yeah. Consequences in the real world are so much worse than an F. I remember when I got that piece relative to difficult child son. That happened around the issue of verbal abuse. I've posted about it in other threads, so I won't go into the details. The issue I got though was that [I]I was disrespecting him[/I] by assuming he could not control either his anger or his speech. I am his mother. If I allow or tolerate certain behaviors or if I buy into the "I need money I can't do it I need help a phone a car...." on some level, difficult child son is going to believe those things about himself. Here is my other thought on this piece: [I]Every mom tends to view her children like...like a mom views her children.[/I] Those of us with difficult child children have to be stronger, and wiser, than that. We have had to learn to be very strong, in so many ways. Cedar [/QUOTE]
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He's been kicked out of the shelter
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