He's being released - good news. But all I can do is cry

Discussion in 'General Parenting' started by seriously, May 25, 2011.

  1. seriously

    seriously New Member

    difficult child 2 has stabilized really quickly - a lot faster than they were expecting when he was admitted. His Depakote levels are good and he's sleeping thanks to Klonopin every night.

    The psychiatrist just called and said they will release him as soon as I can get there to pick him up. He's a little sleepy from the medications but she said he was fine to go to school.

    They can't transfer him to partial as planned because it's full.

    So he'll be back home today.

    After I got off the phone with her I just bent over and started crying. I'm not ready for him to be back here but somehow I have to pull myself together and go get him.

    It was such a relief to be able to function normally for 3 days. To sit with his sister and just talk peacefully, without interruption. The thought of having to go back to having him home is just devastating at this moment.

    I don't know if I can stuff myself back into that box that fast.
     
  2. AnnieO

    AnnieO Shooting from the Hip

    Lovely.

    Always nice when they give you SO MUCH WARNING.

    I'm just sending you lots of gentle hugs...
     
  3. Wiped Out

    Wiped Out Well-Known Member Staff Member

    I'm so sorry. I so understand! Hugs.
     
  4. gcvmom

    gcvmom Here we go again!

    Fingers crossed he does come back a lot different than when he left! And that it HOLDS! Let us know how it goes...
     
  5. LittleDudesMom

    LittleDudesMom Well-Known Member Staff Member

    PJ,

    gentle hugs to you. I hope he comes back home with a new insight.

    Sharon
     
  6. TerryJ2

    TerryJ2 Well-Known Member

    Oh dear.

    I hope that the medications are really working as the dr and nurses claim they are. That will ease the transition.

    Be kind to yourself. Give yourself time to fit back into the situation. And who knows? difficult child 2 could be really nice to be around. (Pollyanna, I know.)
     
  7. SomewhereOutThere

    SomewhereOutThere Well-Known Member

    All I can say is I know exactly how you feel...exactly...and to offer good vibes, love, and prayers (if indeed you have any sort of religion...translate them into what works for you). Take a deep breath. You seem like one of the strongest ladies on the board. You will find a way to get through this.
     
  8. TerryJ2

    TerryJ2 Well-Known Member

    Is he home yet? How are you all?
     
  9. ThreeShadows

    ThreeShadows Quid me anxia?

    Thinking about you and your son. Prayers going up. How did we get into such a mess in our country?
     
  10. crazymama30

    crazymama30 Active Member

    Thinking of you. I have felt that way many times when husband was released from psychiatric hospital. Most times husband's mo is to be great for the first week or so, and then slip into old behaviors.Hope you are all doing well.
     
  11. seriously

    seriously New Member

    Thanks for all the good vibes and well wishes.

    Things aren't going well and if they keep going in this direction he'll be back in the hospital soon.

    Yesterday afternoon was pretty good but he got more and more reactive time until by mid-evening he was trying to control everyone and melting down when that didn't work. Gave him his medications around 8:30 and he finally slept around 11 pm.

    Couldn't get him up this morning. He finally roused at 10:30 am but was so sedated he could barely stagger from his room to the bathroom. He finally really woke up around 1:30. He flipped in and out of being agitated, depressed and angry the rest of the day.

    It got bad tonight. He took his medications about 8 but then at 8:30 he wanted to go over to a neighbors house. We said NO. So he went outside and shot some hoops for 30 minutes.

    After he came back in he blew up because he decided his sister had used his razor. An hour after he got 100 mg Geodon, 1500 mg Depakote AND 2 mg Klonopin he was in the family room screaming at me, waving 2 identical razors around in the air, demanding that she be punished for using the razor and finally threw one of the razors down on the ground narrowly missing me. I don't think he was aiming for me but I wasn't going to ask.

    At 10:30 he was pacing, told us he wanted to use the computer in the morning before he went to school. Ok, this is not good.

    I stayed up to keep an eye on him. At 2 am he was still awake but looked very sedated. He said his brain would not stop. I called the phospital and talked to the night nurse about what it was safe to give him on top of all those medications. We decided benadryl was safe so I gave him 50 mg Benadryl and he konked out about 2:45 am.

    We'll let him sleep tomorrow. My wife is home so we can tag team spending time with him. That's what he needs right now - companionship and attention - but he doesn't always want it from us and we don't always have the freedom to give it.

    Keep the good vibes coming.
     
  12. timer lady

    timer lady Queen of Hearts

    This is not stable PJ. This is a difficult child still spiraling, sweetie.

    Take difficult child back to the ER/phospital. Many times it's insurance that suddenly stabilizes our difficult children ~ not the medications. If this continues, please head back to ER.
     
  13. CrazyinVA

    CrazyinVA Well-Known Member Staff Member

    I'm so sorry. I have been in your shoes before, and had to re-admit Youngest a couple of times under similar circumstances. Insurance can definitely be the culprit when they're discharged too soon, and many times it just takes a wise psychiatrist to play the system to get them approved to stay longer. He definitely sounds like he needs to go back... keep us posted.
     
  14. TerryJ2

    TerryJ2 Well-Known Member

    WRONG medications.
    I have to agree about the ins.
    I'm sorry.
    Poor kid. Poor you.
    {{hugs}}
     
  15. seriously

    seriously New Member

    The problem, as I am sure many of you know, is that difficult child 2 is ultra rapid cycling. So am I so I have some clue what this means.

    In practical terms, what it means is that, regardless of how bad he feels right now, it probably won't last more than a couple of days. It was part of the reason I elected to try to handle him at home for 5 days before we admitted him last Sunday.

    There are some issues - like the fact that home is very triggering for him right now - that are making him more unstable than he might be otherwise. The support and help we were expecting to get from the "wrap around" program has yet to materialize in any substantial way and I am very frustrated about that. But I can't do anything to make it move faster so I will just have to sit on my hands for now. Plus it looks like some of the services we could really use (and I was led to believe we would get) are not available through this program. They made a big deal about having peer mentors to work with the kids on social skills and pro-social activities. They have 2 peer mentors for 98 kids. That would explain why we have only seen the peer mentor once in 4 weeks.

    He's only been on the Depakote for 6 days so it is way too soon to know to what extent that is going to help. The Geodon has made a big difference but I think it's pooping out some and going up on the dose only gets him sedated without really helping the mood symptoms. The wrap around program wants us to have their psychiatrist handle his care so I don't know what medication changes that person may want to make. I was less than thrilled to have his current psychiatrist tell me yesterday that this other psychiatrist is a good doctor but that I probably wasn't going to get along with him. Ugh. I'm guessing that means he's a "take charge" kind of guy who thinks parents should just shut up and do what they're told. Goody.

    We are scheduled for the intake appointment for a new neuropsychologist assessment in mid-June. Had to postpone it because he was in the hospital. :(

    I am giving them all his records on DVD. Spent about a day scanning everything into searchable Adobe PDF format that wasn't already in Word. It will make things so much easier for me.

    I couldn't believe I had to explain to the psychologist that she could just put it in her computer and look at any/all the records she wanted to and print anything she thought was important. Otherwise I was going to have to spend $40 on copying and she would have gotten a 4" binder of records to wade through.

    She was like "you can do that???" I guess she's a "people" person.:surprise:

    He slept pretty well last night but was a handful all afternoon and evening. Broke one of the legs on the couch last night and he is badgering us to take him on a road trip so he can be in the car and just "go". This is mania and boredom at work and concerns me but we are super poor right now and can't afford to do much of anything with gas at $4 a gallon. Plus I suspect that nothing is going to satisfy him right now.

    Just have to live through it and hope we all come out the other end OK.
     
  16. DDD

    DDD Well-Known Member

    I have no experience in this arena and I surely don't have any answers to the problem. What I do have is a bunch of caring and supportive thoughts that I have sent your way. DDD
     
  17. TerryJ2

    TerryJ2 Well-Known Member

    Others here will have more experience with-the medications.
    I just had to throw in a wth about the psychiatric who didn't know how to use the computer files. Just what you need, eh?

    :bloodshot:
     
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