WSM,
I have no great advice but want you to know how bad I feel for you. I think you are so right about everything and it makes me angry that you are living this way. I hate behavior mod too, it never worked for my difficult child either. It makes me feel so sad for your poor stepdaughter too--I could imagine my youngest dtr crying over her stuffed lamb being stabbed like that. It just isn't right that the whole family has to live this way and that the other children don't seem to matter, only difficult child.
In my own situation it wasn't nearly as bad as yours and yet it had such serious effects on my younger difficult child/easy child dtr. Her older sister was abusive to her and controlling and of course created a lot of drama. It caused difficult child/easy child to start dissociating just to be able to escape from her in some way. I really regret that I didn't realize what was happening--I knew her sister could be mean and I knew that chaos and drama was not good for anyone but I didn't know the extent of what was going on. Also, I regret mostly that I focused so much on helping difficult child when I should have been focusing on the 2 kids who were being affected by her and pouring more of my concern into them instead of thinking they were okay.
My heart just goes out to you--
Jane
I have no great advice but want you to know how bad I feel for you. I think you are so right about everything and it makes me angry that you are living this way. I hate behavior mod too, it never worked for my difficult child either. It makes me feel so sad for your poor stepdaughter too--I could imagine my youngest dtr crying over her stuffed lamb being stabbed like that. It just isn't right that the whole family has to live this way and that the other children don't seem to matter, only difficult child.
In my own situation it wasn't nearly as bad as yours and yet it had such serious effects on my younger difficult child/easy child dtr. Her older sister was abusive to her and controlling and of course created a lot of drama. It caused difficult child/easy child to start dissociating just to be able to escape from her in some way. I really regret that I didn't realize what was happening--I knew her sister could be mean and I knew that chaos and drama was not good for anyone but I didn't know the extent of what was going on. Also, I regret mostly that I focused so much on helping difficult child when I should have been focusing on the 2 kids who were being affected by her and pouring more of my concern into them instead of thinking they were okay.
My heart just goes out to you--
Jane
