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<blockquote data-quote="BusynMember" data-source="post: 649354" data-attributes="member: 1550"><p>Hi, Terry. Sorry you are sad and hurting.</p><p></p><p>All of my kids moved out by age 20. </p><p></p><p>Princess and Bart had no choice, although Bart lived with ex for a loooooooooooong time. GoneBoy wanted out and left at nineteen and is doing fine. Sonic wanted his own apartment. We have guardianship over him, but decided to let him do it, as long as we could guarantee the rent got paid by him allowing us to be payee. His reason? "I just want to live by myself." No biggie. He still calls all the time and we each other almost every day. Jumper went to college. She could have gone to the CC here, but she wanted to continue her sports. There was no anger there. We are regularly in touch. </p><p></p><p>I think it's normal for grown kids to want to leave and he isn't asking you for anything (yet). He just may want to get away from your rules. You can't force him to stay anymore and his reasons are common enough. Most of the adult kids on this forum want us to care for them forever, in every way, but consider it a victory that he doesn't expect you to do that for him. Princess was on medications too and she quit them when she quit drugs and will not even take an aspirin now. It's her life. Turns out she doesn't seem to need medications as much as I was sure she did. She is doing fine. Taking medications or not is a personal decision. At times it can be a very poor decision, but at least half the people with bipolar refuse medication. Go figure. As one who takes medication, if it's the wrong medication, you can feel half dead. Lithium made me feel like a walking zombie. I certainly could not act out, but I couldn't function on it either. Not saying your son is right, just saying you can't make him do anything anymore. </p><p></p><p>I hope everything works out to everyone's best interests. Each time a kid of mine left home I worried so much and they all are doing quite well on their own. But...once they leave, it is up to us if we help them in any way and we expect them to do most of it, except for Jumper. Anything else we offer is voluntary. If the kids called up asking for stuff, that would not set well with me. You need to let difficult honey know that if he leaves, you are not supporting him anymore. If he's good with that, then there's not much else you can do.</p><p></p><p>Hugs!!!!</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="BusynMember, post: 649354, member: 1550"] Hi, Terry. Sorry you are sad and hurting. All of my kids moved out by age 20. Princess and Bart had no choice, although Bart lived with ex for a loooooooooooong time. GoneBoy wanted out and left at nineteen and is doing fine. Sonic wanted his own apartment. We have guardianship over him, but decided to let him do it, as long as we could guarantee the rent got paid by him allowing us to be payee. His reason? "I just want to live by myself." No biggie. He still calls all the time and we each other almost every day. Jumper went to college. She could have gone to the CC here, but she wanted to continue her sports. There was no anger there. We are regularly in touch. I think it's normal for grown kids to want to leave and he isn't asking you for anything (yet). He just may want to get away from your rules. You can't force him to stay anymore and his reasons are common enough. Most of the adult kids on this forum want us to care for them forever, in every way, but consider it a victory that he doesn't expect you to do that for him. Princess was on medications too and she quit them when she quit drugs and will not even take an aspirin now. It's her life. Turns out she doesn't seem to need medications as much as I was sure she did. She is doing fine. Taking medications or not is a personal decision. At times it can be a very poor decision, but at least half the people with bipolar refuse medication. Go figure. As one who takes medication, if it's the wrong medication, you can feel half dead. Lithium made me feel like a walking zombie. I certainly could not act out, but I couldn't function on it either. Not saying your son is right, just saying you can't make him do anything anymore. I hope everything works out to everyone's best interests. Each time a kid of mine left home I worried so much and they all are doing quite well on their own. But...once they leave, it is up to us if we help them in any way and we expect them to do most of it, except for Jumper. Anything else we offer is voluntary. If the kids called up asking for stuff, that would not set well with me. You need to let difficult honey know that if he leaves, you are not supporting him anymore. If he's good with that, then there's not much else you can do. Hugs!!!! [/QUOTE]
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