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He's never going to move out
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<blockquote data-quote="witzend" data-source="post: 268051" data-attributes="member: 99"><p>I tend to agree that it's more his father's place to set boundaries with him. On the other hand, I think you should set boundaries with his father. It sounds as though J is not going to do anything until you make him do something. But your husband has to be on the same page as you.</p><p></p><p>As far as the trim goes? I'd forget about that. He can't leave until he does the trim, and if he doesn't do the trim, he can't leave. </p><p></p><p>I also think that it's ok if he doesn't know what he wants, but so long as he doesn't know what he wants he can't leave... it's a vicious cycle.</p><p></p><p>If I were in your shoes, I would get the community college catalog and figure out when summer courses start. It should be about 1.5 to 2 months from now. You and your husband together need to tell him that he can go to college or do whatever it is that he wants, but he needs to be out by the first day of school. I really think that it would be better if you were there when husband tells him that as it ups your status to a "person that has a say-so" in the house. </p><p></p><p>I'm sure that J is a good enough kid to figure it out, he just needs someone to kick him in the behind and get started.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="witzend, post: 268051, member: 99"] I tend to agree that it's more his father's place to set boundaries with him. On the other hand, I think you should set boundaries with his father. It sounds as though J is not going to do anything until you make him do something. But your husband has to be on the same page as you. As far as the trim goes? I'd forget about that. He can't leave until he does the trim, and if he doesn't do the trim, he can't leave. I also think that it's ok if he doesn't know what he wants, but so long as he doesn't know what he wants he can't leave... it's a vicious cycle. If I were in your shoes, I would get the community college catalog and figure out when summer courses start. It should be about 1.5 to 2 months from now. You and your husband together need to tell him that he can go to college or do whatever it is that he wants, but he needs to be out by the first day of school. I really think that it would be better if you were there when husband tells him that as it ups your status to a "person that has a say-so" in the house. I'm sure that J is a good enough kid to figure it out, he just needs someone to kick him in the behind and get started. [/QUOTE]
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He's never going to move out
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