Hey, CAmom......how's it going?

Discussion in 'Substance Abuse' started by DDD, Apr 7, 2007.

  1. DDD

    DDD Well-Known Member

    I've been thinking about you because of the upcoming holiday and notice you haven't been posting as much...or at least I think so.
    Just wanted to send a supportive cyber hug your way. DDD
     
  2. KFld

    KFld New Member

    Hugs from here too. I hope you and your family have a wonderful Easter.
     
  3. CAmom

    CAmom Member

    Oh, THANK you DDD and Karen. I was ousted from my office for a few days because of a bathroom remodel, and I just can't seem to get the hang of the keyboard on my laptop!

    We received a call on Friday from our son's program coordinator telling us that, because it was Easter and a family-type holiday, we could visit our son if we wished and bring him an Easter basket! Remember, I was stressing about that? I had decided that, since he had not made his status and we wouldn't be seeing him, to NOT do an Easter basket and had basically put Easter in the back of my mind. Well, of course, that phone call changed everything.

    So, I rushed out to shop (his program coordinator, having gotten "my number" a while ago, reminded me that "this isn't Christmas" and to not go overboard with his basket), and we made reservations, packed, and made the trip to see him yesterday.

    His program coordinator, in that phone call, told me that he feels that our son is making some progress, although in "baby steps," and I sensed that when we saw him. He was actually talking about future plans and had some solid ideas to back them up. This is a first for him. However, as many of you have pointed out many times, he's still a difficult child. One of his "plans" was that, when he comes home for good in a few more months, he'd like to "take some time off." When I asked him what he was taking "some time off" FROM, he told me that he had "worked hard for 17 1/2 years" and needed a "rest." Yeah...right!

    Hugs back at you too! Hope you had a nice Easter!
     
  4. DDD

    DDD Well-Known Member

    I'm glad you got to share Easter. I'm more happy for you, lol, than I am for difficult child. The "basket" didn't have to be designated to
    a "basket choice" after all. DDD
     
  5. KFld

    KFld New Member

    Oh my god!!! What can these difficult child's think of next. Time off from working so hard the last 17 1/2 years. They have no clue what working hard is. If they did, they wouldn't be difficult child's. I would make it clear to him that when he comes home, there won't be time off, or he can forget about coming home. Yeah, right now he's in a structured program, but it's not like he's doing physical labor everyday!!!!

    Glad you got to see him for Easter though. I'm sure you felt better about the holiday.
     
  6. slsh

    slsh member since 1999

    I'm *so* glad you were able to have a nice visit with- difficult child. :thumbsup: Funny that easy child has your number... but it's a good thing. :wink:

    I'm just rolling here over his much needed "rest". Must be something in the air - thank you just informed me that no *way* is he going to put forth effort for 3 straight months to get special privileges because he's already done with- the program. I told him that was nice, but he is the only one who thinks he's done, and I can pretty much guarantee he will lose priveleges he has if he does the "bare minimum". His response? "Well then I'll just do whatever the (the word we know and love) I *want* to do." Hmmm, ok kid, let me know how that works out for you. :hammer: :hammer: :hammer:

    Do you ever wonder how on earth they're going to hold down a job when just showing up (figuratively) on a consistent basis is such a stretch for them?? Egads... I just don't know.

    Anyway - glad you had a good weekend!
     
  7. everywoman

    everywoman Active Member

    I also have to laugh at the need for rest. difficult child is 19. He has made a total of about $2000 since he "started" working at 15. He told his dad that his jail couselor said maybe he needs to not worry about work and concentrate on school---he needs 1 credit to graduate and has been working on that for 2 years now----yeah right!!!
     
  8. CAmom

    CAmom Member

    Karen and DDD, well, I've GOT to be honest here...my very first thought, when his easy child told me that we were welcome to come visit, was, "Oh, SH-T!!" We hadn't made other plans but had planned to have a relaxing weekend. I thought, for about a minute, about how guilty I SHOULD feel for such a thought but then decided, "Nah...not going there."

    However, we then got into the spirit of things and decided that, since we were given the opportunity, and our son knew it, we should probably should and wanted to make the trip. It's not that we don't miss HIM--we do. But, we don't miss his cr-p.

    Sigh...
     
  9. CAmom

    CAmom Member

    Sue, I SWEAR our son's must have been separated at birth! This could SO have come out of our son's mouth!!

    One of the major reasons our son was NOT allowed to visit home for Easter week (although he was VERY close to being sent home) was because, according to his easy child, he said "F-ck you" to a staff member. What his easy child omitted telling me but our son admitted to was that the "F-ck you" was said to HIM!!!!!!! the easy child!!!!!!!! OMG!

    NOT a very smart move...
     
  10. CAmom

    CAmom Member

    Oh, Sue, a PS...YES, I certainly DO worry about how he's going to hold down a job if he has the b-lls to say "f-ck you" to his easy child, a man who holds the power to keep him in the program or recommend he be released!

    This is really difficult for us to understand as my husband NEVER uses profanity, although I will admit to the occasional "sh-t" or "dam-."
     
  11. Ephchap

    Ephchap Active Member

    CA Mom,

    Glad to hear that you got to enjoy Easter with your son, and that he seems to be making forward progress. The profanity at the very person that can decide his fate is very difficult child thinking. :hammer: They astound me sometimes.

    Hang in there.
    Hugs,
    Deb
     
  12. CAmom

    CAmom Member

    Deb, he astounds me as well!! But, HEY!!...according to my son, he's "gotta be who I am."

    As Dr. Phil used to say (last time I watched...) "How's THAT working for 'ya?"
     
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