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Family of Origin
Hey, Cedar, or anyone interested in FOO (Family of Origin) issues. Cedar, WHY NOW???
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<blockquote data-quote="Copabanana" data-source="post: 657763" data-attributes="member: 18958"><p>I think that my father was a sociopath, and my mother had sociopathic traits.</p><p></p><p>I have written that my mother stole an inheritance and felt herself to be the victim, because I was mad. Slick.</p><p></p><p>I found some writings of hers recently, from those times, and she lamented that I had not found compassion for her, the understanding that she too had been shaped by her life. As I think about it here, by this she meant she was not responsible for her choices. Or, that her choices were justified. In any event she was not responsible. Others, like me, were responsible, to adjust or not. Take it or leave it. </p><p></p><p>I find myself veering between two poles: I do not believe what my mother or father did or did not do to me or for me was premeditated to cause hurt. They just did not care less.</p><p></p><p>If I was hurt or damaged, that was necessary collateral damage.</p><p></p><p>Sorry. Had to do it. Done. Understand I would have chosen differently if I could have. But I am me. I do for me. Only me. All for me. Get it? Get over it.</p><p></p><p>The thing is, I was trained for compassion. Compassion is who I am. I cannot turn away from it. I will choose it over and over again.</p><p></p><p>I understand that my mother consciously and deliberately has hurt me, chosen for herself knowing the consequences.</p><p></p><p>Had she been able, had life afforded her the option to choose differently, she would have...done differently.</p><p></p><p>What would that life have been like, where she could have shared or cared for her children? The Astors? Vanderbilts?</p><p></p><p>But given her array of choices...her choice was to sacrifice her kids.</p><p></p><p>But in her mind she did not intend to do it. She would have chosen otherwise, if she could of, if life had given her better options. She was dealing with the reality she faced.</p><p></p><p>Kind of like the Corleones.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Copabanana, post: 657763, member: 18958"] I think that my father was a sociopath, and my mother had sociopathic traits. I have written that my mother stole an inheritance and felt herself to be the victim, because I was mad. Slick. I found some writings of hers recently, from those times, and she lamented that I had not found compassion for her, the understanding that she too had been shaped by her life. As I think about it here, by this she meant she was not responsible for her choices. Or, that her choices were justified. In any event she was not responsible. Others, like me, were responsible, to adjust or not. Take it or leave it. I find myself veering between two poles: I do not believe what my mother or father did or did not do to me or for me was premeditated to cause hurt. They just did not care less. If I was hurt or damaged, that was necessary collateral damage. Sorry. Had to do it. Done. Understand I would have chosen differently if I could have. But I am me. I do for me. Only me. All for me. Get it? Get over it. The thing is, I was trained for compassion. Compassion is who I am. I cannot turn away from it. I will choose it over and over again. I understand that my mother consciously and deliberately has hurt me, chosen for herself knowing the consequences. Had she been able, had life afforded her the option to choose differently, she would have...done differently. What would that life have been like, where she could have shared or cared for her children? The Astors? Vanderbilts? But given her array of choices...her choice was to sacrifice her kids. But in her mind she did not intend to do it. She would have chosen otherwise, if she could of, if life had given her better options. She was dealing with the reality she faced. Kind of like the Corleones. [/QUOTE]
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Family of Origin
Hey, Cedar, or anyone interested in FOO (Family of Origin) issues. Cedar, WHY NOW???
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