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Family of Origin
Hey, Cedar, or anyone interested in FOO (Family of Origin) issues. Cedar, WHY NOW???
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<blockquote data-quote="Copabanana" data-source="post: 658150" data-attributes="member: 18958"><p>Yes, Cedar, I am 4 or 5 years older than my sister.</p><p>I believe this, Cedar, but in a different way. When my sister was little, she entered a world in which I was a major part. Perhaps, I was more present to her than was my Mother or Father.</p><p></p><p>When my stepfather came she was only 6 or so. He was authoritarian and cruel, and his first task was to break me and whatever power I would have had. He never did, but the drama of his attempts were to define the family that we became.</p><p></p><p>My sister did not, never, ever have any options but to identify with him abusive and horrible as he was. She was too young, I see that.</p><p></p><p>Then, I believed she could have chosen differently. How could she of, at that age?</p><p></p><p>So, at age 6, she lost really, the only person, with my grandmother who really loved her. To gain, what? Not much. But I see now, all of it was determined. She had less control, then, of her life, than even did I.</p><p></p><p>I believe there has been gaslighting, domination, betrayal, I know so. I think my sister tried to get me back...to love her...by means hurtful and abusive. And she tried to get back at me, too. Of course she did.</p><p></p><p>Sadly, for both of us, I could not be enticed back by these means.</p><p></p><p>There is no way back to the tiny girl she was that I loved. I see sometimes in photos of her particularly, this vulnerable little girl. I Google her sometimes. Now over 60 and important and powerful and effective and competent and a boss (she is not a kindly one) she looks to me like a insecure, lost and needy little girl. </p><p></p><p>But to her, now, I am somebody to destroy. All of the things she has become in life that do not fit with her dream of herself, are heaped into her vision of me. And she wants to kill this; whether or not she remembers who I am, really, I do not know.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Copabanana, post: 658150, member: 18958"] Yes, Cedar, I am 4 or 5 years older than my sister. I believe this, Cedar, but in a different way. When my sister was little, she entered a world in which I was a major part. Perhaps, I was more present to her than was my Mother or Father. When my stepfather came she was only 6 or so. He was authoritarian and cruel, and his first task was to break me and whatever power I would have had. He never did, but the drama of his attempts were to define the family that we became. My sister did not, never, ever have any options but to identify with him abusive and horrible as he was. She was too young, I see that. Then, I believed she could have chosen differently. How could she of, at that age? So, at age 6, she lost really, the only person, with my grandmother who really loved her. To gain, what? Not much. But I see now, all of it was determined. She had less control, then, of her life, than even did I. I believe there has been gaslighting, domination, betrayal, I know so. I think my sister tried to get me back...to love her...by means hurtful and abusive. And she tried to get back at me, too. Of course she did. Sadly, for both of us, I could not be enticed back by these means. There is no way back to the tiny girl she was that I loved. I see sometimes in photos of her particularly, this vulnerable little girl. I Google her sometimes. Now over 60 and important and powerful and effective and competent and a boss (she is not a kindly one) she looks to me like a insecure, lost and needy little girl. But to her, now, I am somebody to destroy. All of the things she has become in life that do not fit with her dream of herself, are heaped into her vision of me. And she wants to kill this; whether or not she remembers who I am, really, I do not know. [/QUOTE]
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Family of Origin
Hey, Cedar, or anyone interested in FOO (Family of Origin) issues. Cedar, WHY NOW???
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