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Family of Origin
Hey, Cedar, or anyone interested in FOO (Family of Origin) issues. Cedar, WHY NOW???
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<blockquote data-quote="Copabanana" data-source="post: 658232" data-attributes="member: 18958"><p>The person about whom we speak in my family may do that which is almost illegal, (Have to be careful there), had charges against her of racially tinged maltreatment of an employee (because she could do it, after all, she would).</p><p></p><p>Not only exploiting neutral opportunities which present themselves, or presenting oneself as an object of something or other to extract stuff, whether it be pity or alliance, or admiration--but actual abuse of people--we are talking about here.</p><p></p><p>Because she had a title that she and nobody else except perhaps her mother, thought was a big deal, my relative used to go to a 12 step group and give speeches about her recovery and ascendance into the stars.</p><p></p><p>I do not disparage here 12 step groups, I have gone too; I point to the need to exploit here, any opportunity to shine, to distinguish oneself as special, of higher value. What you speak of Cedar, as the realm of coinage.</p><p></p><p>But the sadness here, is that women always fear and perhaps know and fight against is that their initial value in the debased coin of their realm of origin, was low. So, as they change relative value in a newly entered value system, they use to expunge, flush away, kill off, the system of value in their origin economy, their family. And Cedar, since you in your family were a high value coin, you must be destroyed, for your sister to feel finally she has value.</p><p></p><p>When I was a young woman, already having lived independently for some 10 years, I knew a man, an older man. On my side there was never interest, on his, yes.</p><p></p><p>I was interested then in the stock market, and he was a sage. We were kind of pals. He could never understand me. At all. He told me, I remember, you are a high status female. A high value female, your coinage is in demand, highly marketable. Worth a lot.</p><p></p><p>He could not understand why I worked so hard, going to school at nights. He could not understand why I did not use my relative status, instead of my work, to gain...what I could in this life.</p><p></p><p>Maybe if I am honest, I regret it a bit too. Sometimes in secret I tell myself this: famous men, powerful men, wanted you and...</p><p></p><p>I do not know how to finish the sentence, but I know it is not good.</p><p></p><p>I guess it is because it is hard to not have inside of us the rebuke that it is somehow worse and more wrong to live as I did ....than as does your sister....who may dispute the assigned value she received and fight to change it....but does accept rather than fight against the monetary system the reign of the land.</p><p></p><p>Did women's lib pass me by, or what????</p><p></p><p>Well that happened here, too.</p><p></p><p>Entitlement (but then my Mother did this too)</p><p></p><p>I want it--I deserve it---I will get it.</p><p></p><p>My sister tried to get my Mother to will her a disproportionate share of stuff, and succeeded with 100K. My sister had her husband pressure my Mother...to not risk being disinherited (violating terms of the will, and to not violate ethical rules of her profession.)</p><p></p><p> I hate her, I am sorry. M has something going on like this with one of his siblings. who has persuaded the father (mother has no power in this) to deed her their house. It makes me physically ill.</p><p></p><p>The situation has created a crisis for the responsible siblings (all here in USA), because there is a disabled, severely disordered brother (in MX), unable to care for himself, who this sister will make homeless.</p><p></p><p>There had been an informal arrangement where another sister would live with him in the house, and care for him. Could this sister care that she has un-ended all of this? No.</p><p></p><p>It is only a matter of having more, (feeling more) than her brothers and sisters.</p><p></p><p>Yuck.</p><p></p><p>Oh, so cute. Really, I hate this woman....She really does not want you to exist, does she? And is it jealousy or envy that drives her dislike of your husband?</p><p></p><p>I feel compassion here for us, you, SWOT, myself. At the beginning of life, of this coming down on us...like the plagues...and still existing, even thriving.</p><p></p><p>Your sister is doing everything in her power to negate you, dis-inherit you (property), sh-t on you, kill you off:</p><p></p><p>Oh poop, as you say.</p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p>And I really do not have compassion for her. Well, I guess I do. If I see her like I see my sister in those otherwise professionally looking photos.</p><p></p><p>My sister is a woman of importance, you know. The funny thing is this by her standards: I am too. I achieved to a greater extent than did she. Except in my case I would use the word, distinction which does not imply relative worth, but to that which is extrinsic (I meant to say here, intrinsic), and after all can be applied to all of us.</p><p></p><p>Is that what we are doing here, fighting ourselves out of a system of relative value to a system of intrinsic value? Is this all at its essence about the economic?</p><p></p><p>The sad part for me is that I cannot compete. I take myself out of the game. I hobble myself, sideline myself.</p><p></p><p>Cedar, it is going to take me awhile to get to the rest of your post (lucky me, I have so much to work on. Thank you. I am having fun here.) And then I have not yet responded to your post about why, just why I am in bed. Lucky me. I have that one too.</p><p></p><p>Thank you.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Copabanana, post: 658232, member: 18958"] The person about whom we speak in my family may do that which is almost illegal, (Have to be careful there), had charges against her of racially tinged maltreatment of an employee (because she could do it, after all, she would). Not only exploiting neutral opportunities which present themselves, or presenting oneself as an object of something or other to extract stuff, whether it be pity or alliance, or admiration--but actual abuse of people--we are talking about here. Because she had a title that she and nobody else except perhaps her mother, thought was a big deal, my relative used to go to a 12 step group and give speeches about her recovery and ascendance into the stars. I do not disparage here 12 step groups, I have gone too; I point to the need to exploit here, any opportunity to shine, to distinguish oneself as special, of higher value. What you speak of Cedar, as the realm of coinage. But the sadness here, is that women always fear and perhaps know and fight against is that their initial value in the debased coin of their realm of origin, was low. So, as they change relative value in a newly entered value system, they use to expunge, flush away, kill off, the system of value in their origin economy, their family. And Cedar, since you in your family were a high value coin, you must be destroyed, for your sister to feel finally she has value. When I was a young woman, already having lived independently for some 10 years, I knew a man, an older man. On my side there was never interest, on his, yes. I was interested then in the stock market, and he was a sage. We were kind of pals. He could never understand me. At all. He told me, I remember, you are a high status female. A high value female, your coinage is in demand, highly marketable. Worth a lot. He could not understand why I worked so hard, going to school at nights. He could not understand why I did not use my relative status, instead of my work, to gain...what I could in this life. Maybe if I am honest, I regret it a bit too. Sometimes in secret I tell myself this: famous men, powerful men, wanted you and... I do not know how to finish the sentence, but I know it is not good. I guess it is because it is hard to not have inside of us the rebuke that it is somehow worse and more wrong to live as I did ....than as does your sister....who may dispute the assigned value she received and fight to change it....but does accept rather than fight against the monetary system the reign of the land. Did women's lib pass me by, or what???? Well that happened here, too. Entitlement (but then my Mother did this too) I want it--I deserve it---I will get it. My sister tried to get my Mother to will her a disproportionate share of stuff, and succeeded with 100K. My sister had her husband pressure my Mother...to not risk being disinherited (violating terms of the will, and to not violate ethical rules of her profession.) I hate her, I am sorry. M has something going on like this with one of his siblings. who has persuaded the father (mother has no power in this) to deed her their house. It makes me physically ill. The situation has created a crisis for the responsible siblings (all here in USA), because there is a disabled, severely disordered brother (in MX), unable to care for himself, who this sister will make homeless. There had been an informal arrangement where another sister would live with him in the house, and care for him. Could this sister care that she has un-ended all of this? No. It is only a matter of having more, (feeling more) than her brothers and sisters. Yuck. Oh, so cute. Really, I hate this woman....She really does not want you to exist, does she? And is it jealousy or envy that drives her dislike of your husband? I feel compassion here for us, you, SWOT, myself. At the beginning of life, of this coming down on us...like the plagues...and still existing, even thriving. Your sister is doing everything in her power to negate you, dis-inherit you (property), sh-t on you, kill you off: Oh poop, as you say. And I really do not have compassion for her. Well, I guess I do. If I see her like I see my sister in those otherwise professionally looking photos. My sister is a woman of importance, you know. The funny thing is this by her standards: I am too. I achieved to a greater extent than did she. Except in my case I would use the word, distinction which does not imply relative worth, but to that which is extrinsic (I meant to say here, intrinsic), and after all can be applied to all of us. Is that what we are doing here, fighting ourselves out of a system of relative value to a system of intrinsic value? Is this all at its essence about the economic? The sad part for me is that I cannot compete. I take myself out of the game. I hobble myself, sideline myself. Cedar, it is going to take me awhile to get to the rest of your post (lucky me, I have so much to work on. Thank you. I am having fun here.) And then I have not yet responded to your post about why, just why I am in bed. Lucky me. I have that one too. Thank you. [/QUOTE]
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Hey, Cedar, or anyone interested in FOO (Family of Origin) issues. Cedar, WHY NOW???
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