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Family of Origin
Hey, Cedar, or anyone interested in FOO (Family of Origin) issues. Cedar, WHY NOW???
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<blockquote data-quote="Scent of Cedar *" data-source="post: 658282" data-attributes="member: 17461"><p>What an incredible insight. Oh, Copa ~ good for you.</p><p></p><p>It was when I could see that I had mounted and succeeded and created myself in spite of everything that I realized that same strength, those same capacities, were in my children. That meant they were safe. Wherever they went, wherever their paths took them, those good things I had taught them about themselves were there, inside them.</p><p></p><p>So I could let go of vulnerability or perfection, or of having to say the right words.</p><p></p><p>The right words are already there, inside them.</p><p></p><p>Right where I taught them they were.</p><p></p><p>Sometimes? I tell my children and my grands (and I have told my sister and myself, too) that they will have to be their own best mothers, now.</p><p></p><p>That helps me; makes it less scary somehow, when I don't know how to do these very hard things.</p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p>I have a poem for you about that, Copa.</p><p></p><p>I will find and post it sometime today or tomorrow.</p><p></p><p>I have a karate class today. If I run out of time, I will post it, tomorrow.</p><p></p><p>It's one of those scary ones.</p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p>Ha! Me, too.</p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p>It becomes attractive to predators. In the wild forests, and in the cities and societies we humans create, this is true. It is true too though that, for the animals in the forests and for humans too, there is such a thing as compassion, as defending ourselves from the predator together. Buffaloes form a circle, a wall of horns to the predator and the young ones, the vulnerable ones, in the center. Humans circle the wagons, literally or figuratively. We create laws, so we know right from wrong. And sometimes, the law doesn't protect the vulnerable ones. But it does make it very clear, when those who have been hurt are ready, just who the bad guy was.</p><p></p><p>And once we know that, we heal with blazing speed.</p><p></p><p>Because we were meant to be whole, all along. It's just that we have been standing in our own way, protecting the stupid predator instead of listening to, and determinedly cherishing, ourselves.</p><p></p><p>We don't want anything bad to happen to anyone else.</p><p></p><p>That is why we do that.</p><p></p><p>We say, "There is so much pain in the world, already. I don't want to add to that. I will do what I can ~ whatever little thing that falls to me to do ~ to lighten the burden of evil in the world.</p><p></p><p>Predators?</p><p></p><p>They love that.</p><p></p><p>Eat 'em up.</p><p></p><p>That's why they drool and practically wet themselves when they see us. They are so stupidly greedy they don't even bother with dinner napkins. Their stupidly greedy salivations drip and glitter everywhere. And you know what we do, those of us broken when we were little girls or little boys?</p><p></p><p>We dab tenderly at the corners of their mouths, so they will not be humiliated by the depth of their greed to have us, and to hurt us, and to leave us behind.</p><p></p><p>It's all about the dinner napkin, Copa. </p><p></p><p>Thick, beautifully white, Copa. Just like that clothing I choose, whenever therapy is working for me. Something simple. Something clean. Something honest and real and without pretense.</p><p></p><p>Just like me, inside where no one can see.</p><p></p><p>I like what I said so much that I am going to post this now so I don't lose it.</p><p></p><p>Cedar</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Scent of Cedar *, post: 658282, member: 17461"] What an incredible insight. Oh, Copa ~ good for you. It was when I could see that I had mounted and succeeded and created myself in spite of everything that I realized that same strength, those same capacities, were in my children. That meant they were safe. Wherever they went, wherever their paths took them, those good things I had taught them about themselves were there, inside them. So I could let go of vulnerability or perfection, or of having to say the right words. The right words are already there, inside them. Right where I taught them they were. Sometimes? I tell my children and my grands (and I have told my sister and myself, too) that they will have to be their own best mothers, now. That helps me; makes it less scary somehow, when I don't know how to do these very hard things. I have a poem for you about that, Copa. I will find and post it sometime today or tomorrow. I have a karate class today. If I run out of time, I will post it, tomorrow. It's one of those scary ones. Ha! Me, too. It becomes attractive to predators. In the wild forests, and in the cities and societies we humans create, this is true. It is true too though that, for the animals in the forests and for humans too, there is such a thing as compassion, as defending ourselves from the predator together. Buffaloes form a circle, a wall of horns to the predator and the young ones, the vulnerable ones, in the center. Humans circle the wagons, literally or figuratively. We create laws, so we know right from wrong. And sometimes, the law doesn't protect the vulnerable ones. But it does make it very clear, when those who have been hurt are ready, just who the bad guy was. And once we know that, we heal with blazing speed. Because we were meant to be whole, all along. It's just that we have been standing in our own way, protecting the stupid predator instead of listening to, and determinedly cherishing, ourselves. We don't want anything bad to happen to anyone else. That is why we do that. We say, "There is so much pain in the world, already. I don't want to add to that. I will do what I can ~ whatever little thing that falls to me to do ~ to lighten the burden of evil in the world. Predators? They love that. Eat 'em up. That's why they drool and practically wet themselves when they see us. They are so stupidly greedy they don't even bother with dinner napkins. Their stupidly greedy salivations drip and glitter everywhere. And you know what we do, those of us broken when we were little girls or little boys? We dab tenderly at the corners of their mouths, so they will not be humiliated by the depth of their greed to have us, and to hurt us, and to leave us behind. It's all about the dinner napkin, Copa. Thick, beautifully white, Copa. Just like that clothing I choose, whenever therapy is working for me. Something simple. Something clean. Something honest and real and without pretense. Just like me, inside where no one can see. I like what I said so much that I am going to post this now so I don't lose it. Cedar [/QUOTE]
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Family of Origin
Hey, Cedar, or anyone interested in FOO (Family of Origin) issues. Cedar, WHY NOW???
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