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Family of Origin
Hey, Cedar, or anyone interested in FOO (Family of Origin) issues. Cedar, WHY NOW???
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<blockquote data-quote="Copabanana" data-source="post: 658284" data-attributes="member: 18958"><p>I got up early this morning. Way early. On the news was a short interview with Tracy Morgan, the comic who was in the horrific car accident hit by the Walmart truck that killed his friend a year ago.</p><p></p><p>The media seems to understand, accept and to honor his recovery, which has been slow going, and hard. There is somehow the attitude of respect. He cried more than once during the interview, remembering the trauma and loss of his friend. And it was okay.</p><p></p><p>My Mother died after I had cared for her for some time. There had been a lifetime of stuff between us. </p><p></p><p>Our relationship had not been enough for either one of us and just plain hard, too. </p><p></p><p>When she died, a lifetime of grief and regret emerged. And self-doubt and self-hatred that had been buried, too. I got lost in it all. The trauma as she was dying. The choices that were mine alone to make. Alone in hard decisions, hard feelings. Dealing alone with my mother's feelings as she fought to live and as she was dying. Understanding what her life had meant to me. Missing her while knowing that I had chosen distance from her most of my life, seemed impossible to surmount. All superimposed on a relationship between us that was conflicted and not enough. Had never been enough.</p><p></p><p>The thing is, here, that I got at least for a minute or two, is that I am Tracy Morgan, too. I have been recovering from trauma as has he. He deserves respect, and gets it. I do too. </p><p></p><p>That things that fell us that we cannot get up from. We deserve respect. I deserve respect. Comparing myself to others or to who I have been before is not just irrelevant, it is just plain cruel. Tracy Morgan is expected and wants to return to his life before. But nobody expects it to be just like that. And I don't think he is expected to be just like he was.</p><p></p><p>A lot I regret the years I have lost. 2 and a half years since my Mom got real sick and needing me. Over 1 and a half since she died.</p><p></p><p>What is going on here, I ask? What is the real life, the real person. The functioning old one, or this new one? Not quite up from bed.</p><p></p><p>So, Tracy Morgan calls upon me to find respect and heart, for myself. Life is not just a one way street. We go back and forth, it seems. </p><p></p><p>This whole thing is getting a little bit exciting. Even I am curious what new person will get up from the bed. What will she do and where will she go? I'll let you know.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Copabanana, post: 658284, member: 18958"] I got up early this morning. Way early. On the news was a short interview with Tracy Morgan, the comic who was in the horrific car accident hit by the Walmart truck that killed his friend a year ago. The media seems to understand, accept and to honor his recovery, which has been slow going, and hard. There is somehow the attitude of respect. He cried more than once during the interview, remembering the trauma and loss of his friend. And it was okay. My Mother died after I had cared for her for some time. There had been a lifetime of stuff between us. Our relationship had not been enough for either one of us and just plain hard, too. When she died, a lifetime of grief and regret emerged. And self-doubt and self-hatred that had been buried, too. I got lost in it all. The trauma as she was dying. The choices that were mine alone to make. Alone in hard decisions, hard feelings. Dealing alone with my mother's feelings as she fought to live and as she was dying. Understanding what her life had meant to me. Missing her while knowing that I had chosen distance from her most of my life, seemed impossible to surmount. All superimposed on a relationship between us that was conflicted and not enough. Had never been enough. The thing is, here, that I got at least for a minute or two, is that I am Tracy Morgan, too. I have been recovering from trauma as has he. He deserves respect, and gets it. I do too. That things that fell us that we cannot get up from. We deserve respect. I deserve respect. Comparing myself to others or to who I have been before is not just irrelevant, it is just plain cruel. Tracy Morgan is expected and wants to return to his life before. But nobody expects it to be just like that. And I don't think he is expected to be just like he was. A lot I regret the years I have lost. 2 and a half years since my Mom got real sick and needing me. Over 1 and a half since she died. What is going on here, I ask? What is the real life, the real person. The functioning old one, or this new one? Not quite up from bed. So, Tracy Morgan calls upon me to find respect and heart, for myself. Life is not just a one way street. We go back and forth, it seems. This whole thing is getting a little bit exciting. Even I am curious what new person will get up from the bed. What will she do and where will she go? I'll let you know. [/QUOTE]
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Hey, Cedar, or anyone interested in FOO (Family of Origin) issues. Cedar, WHY NOW???
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