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Family of Origin
Hey, Cedar, or anyone interested in FOO (Family of Origin) issues. Cedar, WHY NOW???
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<blockquote data-quote="Scent of Cedar *" data-source="post: 658285" data-attributes="member: 17461"><p>That has happened to me too, Copa. In the strangest ways imaginable. So, I don't imagine it. I just do what is there for me to do and that will have to be enough. Once, I was at a Benedictine retreat center. And whatever it was all of us were working through, one of the women asked whether she could touch me. And she placed her hands over where my uterus would be.</p><p></p><p>And it was good, Copa. But I don't know what it was, what she saw, what she felt. She seemed so pleased, Copa. If she were a predator, then I still did what was there for me to do. I did have a very bad dream that night. But here is how I think it works: I think the energy flows, in and out and in again, whatever we need, whatever we give, however we see what we see.</p><p></p><p>So, either way, I would be blessed and protected and cherished, and so would she. Because we are meant to be whole, and because we do what we can; whether we know what that is or not?</p><p></p><p>Doesn't matter.</p><p></p><p>We all are meant to be whole.</p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p>I have learned that, too. I don't understand it, either. It is one of those wordless things.</p><p>Things, maybe, that are too sacred for words.</p><p></p><p>Maybe that is true.</p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p>Ha!!! I know! "Where we goin'?" </p><p></p><p>"Hmmm...I don't know."</p><p></p><p>:O)</p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p>I am very good in my work, too. I know what I want to accomplish. Simple. It is in matters of the heart. I don't know where that is taking me or us. Flying by the seats or our pants, hearts in our throats, right?</p><p></p><p>But sometimes when we do that?</p><p></p><p>We are laughing; good, rich, healing laughter, straight from the heart.</p><p></p><p>Because we are, after all, fully capable of flying, as it turns out.</p><p></p><p>And who knows whether that is the magical, healing thing both predator and those who assume the position of prey, knew and needed, all along?</p><p></p><p>You must be flying too, Copa.</p><p></p><p>A rushing of Wind, and thousands and thousands of stars.</p><p></p><p>Little scary; nonetheless, there we are.</p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p>It is so good to be nakedly vulnerable, to have that one person we allow to see us and find they champion the strength in us.</p><p></p><p>Yay.</p><p></p><p>I love that you have M.</p><p></p><p>And in the way of things? You witness and require and demand his courage too, Copa. that is how this thing works, I think. There are no heroes and yet, every one of us is a hero. I see that in the eyes of the homeless people.</p><p></p><p>Their eyes are so wise, Copa. Like the Fool on the Hill or something, they watch the world kaliedescoping around them from some place even you and I have been afraid to go. A place of utter vulnerability. But maybe, we don't need to go there. Because that already happened, to us.</p><p></p><p>Daughter and I talk alot about what it was, for her to be homeless.</p><p></p><p>She learned the most unusually incredible things.</p><p></p><p>We all did.</p><p></p><p>It sucked, truly. I was always so freaking scared for her, and for us.</p><p></p><p>The place daughter was homeless is on a lake, Copa. One of the Great Lakes. And the Native American name for that place is Spirit Lake.</p><p></p><p>So there is that sense of purpose in all things, again. That sense of some great wheel, turning and turning in joyous celebration as things are put right.</p><p></p><p>I read once that, in the Jewish mystic belief system, it is said that evil entered the picture when, in the Word that was spoken to create all that is, a small intonation was pronounced incorrectly, or was changed, immediately after it was Spoken.</p><p></p><p>Maybe that is what we are all doing, here.</p><p></p><p>Or not; or maybe there is only the meaning we give it.</p><p></p><p>I am good with that, too.</p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p>I just wanted to go back to this for a minute. My grands? Relate to me that everyone who is young now is all about the person, not the sex of the person, to whom they are attracted for whatever reason. This was very confusing to me. We were raised when hatred made seeing the human beneath the label impossible.</p><p></p><p>So, that is a good thing, then.</p><p></p><p>That is how racism and elitism and economic I-am-better-than-you ism can be healed. I think that is where we get to, once we are secure. </p><p></p><p>We only see one another as alive. Even if we are not human. We see animals and plants and time itself differently.</p><p></p><p>I think that is true.</p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p>I will post the poem for you, Copa. </p><p></p><p>Here is a beginning of it. I have to find it before I can post it for you correctly. But I think this is how it begins, that time when I was broken and broken and rebroken again so I could choose to face it, and to come together correctly. </p><p></p><p>Again, that we are here on purpose, that matters, here.</p><p></p><p>Everything every one of us does, matters in a way we cannot understand.</p><p></p><p><em>A magician</em></p><p><em>a Promise, unspoken</em></p><p><em>A Child</em></p><p><em>its potential, unknown</em></p><p></p><p><em>Lost</em></p><p><em>when the mirror was broken</em></p><p><em>Lost</em></p><p><em>ere the falcon be flown</em></p><p></p><p> </p><p></p><p></p><p>When you first are on the Watercooler page, you will see that the number of views will be listed in the area where the thread title is. The number changes, each time you refresh the page. This is true for each of the areas on this site that means so much to all of us. Sometimes? When I am posting really bad things? I take comfort in that number because there is no way my mother or my sister could possibly be coming onto that thread I am posting on as often as to account for those numbers. So then, it makes perfect sense to me that if they are?</p><p></p><p>Everyone else who knows me here will protect me from them; will protect me from the way they want me to think about myself.</p><p></p><p>"Cedar is healing!" they will say. "Stay away. <em>This is sacred ground. It is not time for your story. Not yet. No compassion for you. Not yet."</em></p><p></p><p>I think I actually heard you guys saying things like that once.</p><p></p><p>Or maybe that was my imagination.</p><p></p><p>:O)</p><p></p><p>Cedar</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Scent of Cedar *, post: 658285, member: 17461"] That has happened to me too, Copa. In the strangest ways imaginable. So, I don't imagine it. I just do what is there for me to do and that will have to be enough. Once, I was at a Benedictine retreat center. And whatever it was all of us were working through, one of the women asked whether she could touch me. And she placed her hands over where my uterus would be. And it was good, Copa. But I don't know what it was, what she saw, what she felt. She seemed so pleased, Copa. If she were a predator, then I still did what was there for me to do. I did have a very bad dream that night. But here is how I think it works: I think the energy flows, in and out and in again, whatever we need, whatever we give, however we see what we see. So, either way, I would be blessed and protected and cherished, and so would she. Because we are meant to be whole, and because we do what we can; whether we know what that is or not? Doesn't matter. We all are meant to be whole. I have learned that, too. I don't understand it, either. It is one of those wordless things. Things, maybe, that are too sacred for words. Maybe that is true. Ha!!! I know! "Where we goin'?" "Hmmm...I don't know." :O) I am very good in my work, too. I know what I want to accomplish. Simple. It is in matters of the heart. I don't know where that is taking me or us. Flying by the seats or our pants, hearts in our throats, right? But sometimes when we do that? We are laughing; good, rich, healing laughter, straight from the heart. Because we are, after all, fully capable of flying, as it turns out. And who knows whether that is the magical, healing thing both predator and those who assume the position of prey, knew and needed, all along? You must be flying too, Copa. A rushing of Wind, and thousands and thousands of stars. Little scary; nonetheless, there we are. It is so good to be nakedly vulnerable, to have that one person we allow to see us and find they champion the strength in us. Yay. I love that you have M. And in the way of things? You witness and require and demand his courage too, Copa. that is how this thing works, I think. There are no heroes and yet, every one of us is a hero. I see that in the eyes of the homeless people. Their eyes are so wise, Copa. Like the Fool on the Hill or something, they watch the world kaliedescoping around them from some place even you and I have been afraid to go. A place of utter vulnerability. But maybe, we don't need to go there. Because that already happened, to us. Daughter and I talk alot about what it was, for her to be homeless. She learned the most unusually incredible things. We all did. It sucked, truly. I was always so freaking scared for her, and for us. The place daughter was homeless is on a lake, Copa. One of the Great Lakes. And the Native American name for that place is Spirit Lake. So there is that sense of purpose in all things, again. That sense of some great wheel, turning and turning in joyous celebration as things are put right. I read once that, in the Jewish mystic belief system, it is said that evil entered the picture when, in the Word that was spoken to create all that is, a small intonation was pronounced incorrectly, or was changed, immediately after it was Spoken. Maybe that is what we are all doing, here. Or not; or maybe there is only the meaning we give it. I am good with that, too. I just wanted to go back to this for a minute. My grands? Relate to me that everyone who is young now is all about the person, not the sex of the person, to whom they are attracted for whatever reason. This was very confusing to me. We were raised when hatred made seeing the human beneath the label impossible. So, that is a good thing, then. That is how racism and elitism and economic I-am-better-than-you ism can be healed. I think that is where we get to, once we are secure. We only see one another as alive. Even if we are not human. We see animals and plants and time itself differently. I think that is true. I will post the poem for you, Copa. Here is a beginning of it. I have to find it before I can post it for you correctly. But I think this is how it begins, that time when I was broken and broken and rebroken again so I could choose to face it, and to come together correctly. Again, that we are here on purpose, that matters, here. Everything every one of us does, matters in a way we cannot understand. [I]A magician a Promise, unspoken A Child its potential, unknown[/I] [I]Lost when the mirror was broken Lost ere the falcon be flown[/I] When you first are on the Watercooler page, you will see that the number of views will be listed in the area where the thread title is. The number changes, each time you refresh the page. This is true for each of the areas on this site that means so much to all of us. Sometimes? When I am posting really bad things? I take comfort in that number because there is no way my mother or my sister could possibly be coming onto that thread I am posting on as often as to account for those numbers. So then, it makes perfect sense to me that if they are? Everyone else who knows me here will protect me from them; will protect me from the way they want me to think about myself. "Cedar is healing!" they will say. "Stay away. [I]This is sacred ground. It is not time for your story. Not yet. No compassion for you. Not yet."[/I] I think I actually heard you guys saying things like that once. Or maybe that was my imagination. :O) Cedar [/QUOTE]
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Hey, Cedar, or anyone interested in FOO (Family of Origin) issues. Cedar, WHY NOW???
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