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Family of Origin
Hey, Cedar, or anyone interested in FOO (Family of Origin) issues. Cedar, WHY NOW???
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<blockquote data-quote="Scent of Cedar *" data-source="post: 658476" data-attributes="member: 17461"><p>One time? When my kids were just little guys and we were all just living our lives? My sister (very religious, remember) told me she and her other very religious people had prayed, with deliberate intent, a "ring of thorns" around me and my family, to "bring me to the Lord". That is the flavor of my sister. She rationalizes and justifies and parades the most eerie things in the name of something a person could...I don't know. Could get it that though the thing wished for all of us was bad, and that there were other people intending that same wish for very bad things to happen to me, and to my children, and to my family...it would be couched in terms, in such a way that my sister can stand on a sort of legitimacy.</p><p></p><p>My sister's intention did not harm us in the way that she hoped. What has happened to all of us has rational genesis; I can trace it. I can know that when I changed my responses, my children were fully capable of standing up and they did.</p><p></p><p>But...what a crummy, crummy thing to have done, however "noble" the outcome was to have been. (To not have to go to Hell.)</p><p></p><p>So that is the kind of person we are talking about, here. A person willing to sucker strangers on airplanes to give her money. A person willing to join with others to wish something bad in some convoluted effort to "save" them. A person with whom no event ~ no family event, no personal visit, nothing attended together, ever felt "right". </p><p></p><p>A person who snoops into things anyone with a sense of integrity or trustworthiness who has been invited into our home (or who has been invited to hers) would never do. Like: My brother told me my sister breezed in uninvited and began going through the mail on his kitchen counter. Reading what was from who, what were their bills, that sort of thing. He was so upset about it. He couldn't believe it happened. Or, one time, my sister was staying with us. And it was when I was in therapy and our daughter was having such a terrible time, and she knew I was journaling between therapy sessions. And after she left, I found that she had written a note to me toward the end of my journal.</p><p></p><p>Which had been hidden away because I did not want even D H to read it.</p><p></p><p>And she found it. Which means she had to search for it.</p><p></p><p>Things like that.</p><p></p><p>The last time I stayed with her at her home, there were three uncomfortable things of that nature. One, she commented that she was upset with her daughters because when they were guests in someone's home, they were so messy. <em>Whereas my room was clean, my bed was made, the closet and even the things yet in my suitcase were in perfect order</em>.</p><p></p><p><em>She said my mother was the same way. Everything in her room in perfect order when she was not in her room.</em></p><p></p><p>Generally when I stay somewhere, I strip the bed on the morning I am leaving and bring the sheets to the laundry room. My sister asked me not to do that. Not to strip the bed. She was insistent that I not strip the bed.</p><p></p><p>So, I just made the bed.</p><p></p><p>The third thing (this all happened on the same three night, two day visit) is that I had asked to bring a package of a foodstuff that my sister and her husband sell home with me. My sister acted a little funny about it, but said of course. <em>When I got home, I found she had already placed a bag of that item in my suitcase. I have no idea when she had access to my bags.</em></p><p></p><p>There were other strangenesses, too. Things that were not exactly wrong, but that were weird, that leave a weird feeling.</p><p></p><p>Oh for heaven's sake. Happy Hour here, and I need to sign off for the night.</p><p></p><p>Until tomorrow, then, everyone. </p><p></p><p>Hi, SuZir</p><p></p><p>:O)</p><p></p><p>Cedar</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Scent of Cedar *, post: 658476, member: 17461"] One time? When my kids were just little guys and we were all just living our lives? My sister (very religious, remember) told me she and her other very religious people had prayed, with deliberate intent, a "ring of thorns" around me and my family, to "bring me to the Lord". That is the flavor of my sister. She rationalizes and justifies and parades the most eerie things in the name of something a person could...I don't know. Could get it that though the thing wished for all of us was bad, and that there were other people intending that same wish for very bad things to happen to me, and to my children, and to my family...it would be couched in terms, in such a way that my sister can stand on a sort of legitimacy. My sister's intention did not harm us in the way that she hoped. What has happened to all of us has rational genesis; I can trace it. I can know that when I changed my responses, my children were fully capable of standing up and they did. But...what a crummy, crummy thing to have done, however "noble" the outcome was to have been. (To not have to go to Hell.) So that is the kind of person we are talking about, here. A person willing to sucker strangers on airplanes to give her money. A person willing to join with others to wish something bad in some convoluted effort to "save" them. A person with whom no event ~ no family event, no personal visit, nothing attended together, ever felt "right". A person who snoops into things anyone with a sense of integrity or trustworthiness who has been invited into our home (or who has been invited to hers) would never do. Like: My brother told me my sister breezed in uninvited and began going through the mail on his kitchen counter. Reading what was from who, what were their bills, that sort of thing. He was so upset about it. He couldn't believe it happened. Or, one time, my sister was staying with us. And it was when I was in therapy and our daughter was having such a terrible time, and she knew I was journaling between therapy sessions. And after she left, I found that she had written a note to me toward the end of my journal. Which had been hidden away because I did not want even D H to read it. And she found it. Which means she had to search for it. Things like that. The last time I stayed with her at her home, there were three uncomfortable things of that nature. One, she commented that she was upset with her daughters because when they were guests in someone's home, they were so messy. [I]Whereas my room was clean, my bed was made, the closet and even the things yet in my suitcase were in perfect order[/I]. [I]She said my mother was the same way. Everything in her room in perfect order when she was not in her room.[/I] Generally when I stay somewhere, I strip the bed on the morning I am leaving and bring the sheets to the laundry room. My sister asked me not to do that. Not to strip the bed. She was insistent that I not strip the bed. So, I just made the bed. The third thing (this all happened on the same three night, two day visit) is that I had asked to bring a package of a foodstuff that my sister and her husband sell home with me. My sister acted a little funny about it, but said of course. [I]When I got home, I found she had already placed a bag of that item in my suitcase. I have no idea when she had access to my bags.[/I] There were other strangenesses, too. Things that were not exactly wrong, but that were weird, that leave a weird feeling. Oh for heaven's sake. Happy Hour here, and I need to sign off for the night. Until tomorrow, then, everyone. Hi, SuZir :O) Cedar [/QUOTE]
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Hey, Cedar, or anyone interested in FOO (Family of Origin) issues. Cedar, WHY NOW???
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