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Family of Origin
Hey, Cedar, or anyone interested in FOO (Family of Origin) issues. Cedar, WHY NOW???
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<blockquote data-quote="Copabanana" data-source="post: 658617" data-attributes="member: 18958"><p>Hi Cedar. As I read this post the latent message is unity of opposites. How surprising is it that your sister sought out a belief system based upon a binary system of good and evil, and thereby has a ready made system through which to exclude that which is dystonic or disturbing.</p><p></p><p>As long as your mother has split off in herself the parts that she will not see or feel, she is compelled to play this out in her relationship with others. That which makes her feel "not bad," is therefore momentarily held closer, that which does not, is expelled, repelled.</p><p></p><p>Her love is such that she cannot "in love" unite the pieces that are split apart, fundamentally in her, the me and not me.</p><p></p><p>Of course this makes sense. Your sister seeks to identify herself with and bask in the "good" vision your mother has of herself however transitory and shallow is this "mother love" while she aligns with your mother's need to exclude the "not good" by projection onto the excluded siblings.</p><p></p><p>This is the problem. Except at great cost, insuring that children follow the same careful dance, of banishing the imperfect, uncontrolled, or defective parts of themselves and ourselves, is near impossible, without destroying them.</p><p></p><p>And in the process of trying, there is a lot of agony and anger, emotions that are themselves messy, not fitting into the "good" image people like your mother and sister need of themselves.</p><p></p><p>Your quest, Cedar, seems to have been for unity of the opposites, that your Mother and sister have so feared and through their fear fought to maintain. You sought such unity in yourself, and for your family, aided by your beloved and oh so heroic children, together seeking out instead of fleeing from the hidden false, secreted pieces and exposing them.</p><p>I say, as well.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Copabanana, post: 658617, member: 18958"] Hi Cedar. As I read this post the latent message is unity of opposites. How surprising is it that your sister sought out a belief system based upon a binary system of good and evil, and thereby has a ready made system through which to exclude that which is dystonic or disturbing. As long as your mother has split off in herself the parts that she will not see or feel, she is compelled to play this out in her relationship with others. That which makes her feel "not bad," is therefore momentarily held closer, that which does not, is expelled, repelled. Her love is such that she cannot "in love" unite the pieces that are split apart, fundamentally in her, the me and not me. Of course this makes sense. Your sister seeks to identify herself with and bask in the "good" vision your mother has of herself however transitory and shallow is this "mother love" while she aligns with your mother's need to exclude the "not good" by projection onto the excluded siblings. This is the problem. Except at great cost, insuring that children follow the same careful dance, of banishing the imperfect, uncontrolled, or defective parts of themselves and ourselves, is near impossible, without destroying them. And in the process of trying, there is a lot of agony and anger, emotions that are themselves messy, not fitting into the "good" image people like your mother and sister need of themselves. Your quest, Cedar, seems to have been for unity of the opposites, that your Mother and sister have so feared and through their fear fought to maintain. You sought such unity in yourself, and for your family, aided by your beloved and oh so heroic children, together seeking out instead of fleeing from the hidden false, secreted pieces and exposing them. I say, as well. [/QUOTE]
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Family of Origin
Hey, Cedar, or anyone interested in FOO (Family of Origin) issues. Cedar, WHY NOW???
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