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Family of Origin
Hey, Cedar, or anyone interested in FOO (Family of Origin) issues. Cedar, WHY NOW???
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<blockquote data-quote="Scent of Cedar *" data-source="post: 658657" data-attributes="member: 17461"><p>Regarding how to interpret relationship, and time, and the right and responsibility to be wise and wary, and to define our situations with our families of origin to ourselves, and whether to welcome them back or to protect ourselves from them, Echolette wrote this on Seeking Strenth's thread in Parent Emeritus.</p><p></p><p>I do not know how to quote directly from one thread to another. This is a quote from Echolette's post.</p><p></p><p></p><p><em>"Whatever is happening is okay. You will know how to handle yourselves. Relationships are long...there is no such thing as ruining them or missing an opportunity in a single moment. If he has changed and is reaching out, there will be more. If he is being manipulative, you have created space and strength and will recognize it and protect yourself."</em></p><p><em></em></p><p><em>Echolette</em></p><p><em></em></p><p>This morning, I have been feeling a sense of burden, feeling like a warrior posted to keep watch over a battleground where the battle was lost and everyone died and the Earth itself is torn up and bloodied.</p><p></p><p>Though I pretended to be angry and to feel vindictive and to name names and say true things, in a very real way, I hoped I would find a different truth as I pushed through my own psyche and my rememberings.</p><p></p><p>But I didn't. I found twisted, pointless, really ugly betrayals everywhere I looked and kept looking and it was a really hard thing, to do that for no blasting trumpets or banners waving in a rising wind at the end of it.</p><p></p><p>It feels like such a heavy burden. I am carrying it, but it really is so heavy. It is mine, so I am carrying it, but it is so different a thing than I had believed I would find, at the end of it.</p><p></p><p>So on that thread, we talked about warriors, too.</p><p></p><p>That helped me define the look of it, the heft of what this feels like.</p><p></p><p>We touched too on Leonard Cohen's "Halleluiah". On that line in which he says that all he'd ever known of love was how to shoot someone who'd outdrawn you. So, that would be the lust of vengeance, right? That "How dare you?" feeling, when the thing has already been done and done and done, to you.</p><p></p><p>So, even for our families of origin, there is much to be learned from Leonard Cohen's Halleluiah.</p><p></p><p>What else did I learn on that thread, this morning....</p><p></p><p>I don't remember. But it was precisely the right thing to have done, to have savored and tasted the bitter and the sweet in. So, I think each of us reading here would find value in that thread.</p><p></p><p>Cedar</p><p></p><p>And also in the Rocky clips that I had posted somewhere I cannot find them, now. "Getting Stronger", especially. "Eye of the Tiger", especially.</p><p><em></em></p><p><em>That is us.</em></p><p><em></em></p><p>Cedar</p><p><em></em></p><p><em></em></p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Scent of Cedar *, post: 658657, member: 17461"] Regarding how to interpret relationship, and time, and the right and responsibility to be wise and wary, and to define our situations with our families of origin to ourselves, and whether to welcome them back or to protect ourselves from them, Echolette wrote this on Seeking Strenth's thread in Parent Emeritus. I do not know how to quote directly from one thread to another. This is a quote from Echolette's post. [I]"Whatever is happening is okay. You will know how to handle yourselves. Relationships are long...there is no such thing as ruining them or missing an opportunity in a single moment. If he has changed and is reaching out, there will be more. If he is being manipulative, you have created space and strength and will recognize it and protect yourself." Echolette [/I] This morning, I have been feeling a sense of burden, feeling like a warrior posted to keep watch over a battleground where the battle was lost and everyone died and the Earth itself is torn up and bloodied. [I][/I] Though I pretended to be angry and to feel vindictive and to name names and say true things, in a very real way, I hoped I would find a different truth as I pushed through my own psyche and my rememberings. [I][/I] But I didn't. I found twisted, pointless, really ugly betrayals everywhere I looked and kept looking and it was a really hard thing, to do that for no blasting trumpets or banners waving in a rising wind at the end of it. [I][/I] It feels like such a heavy burden. I am carrying it, but it really is so heavy. It is mine, so I am carrying it, but it is so different a thing than I had believed I would find, at the end of it. [I][/I] So on that thread, we talked about warriors, too. [I][/I] That helped me define the look of it, the heft of what this feels like. [I][/I] We touched too on Leonard Cohen's "Halleluiah". On that line in which he says that all he'd ever known of love was how to shoot someone who'd outdrawn you. So, that would be the lust of vengeance, right? That "How dare you?" feeling, when the thing has already been done and done and done, to you. [I][/I] So, even for our families of origin, there is much to be learned from Leonard Cohen's Halleluiah. [I][/I] What else did I learn on that thread, this morning.... [I][/I] I don't remember. But it was precisely the right thing to have done, to have savored and tasted the bitter and the sweet in. So, I think each of us reading here would find value in that thread. [I][/I] Cedar [I][/I] And also in the Rocky clips that I had posted somewhere I cannot find them, now. "Getting Stronger", especially. "Eye of the Tiger", especially. [I] That is us. [/I] Cedar [I] [/I] [/QUOTE]
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Hey, Cedar, or anyone interested in FOO (Family of Origin) issues. Cedar, WHY NOW???
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