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Family of Origin
Hey, Cedar, or anyone interested in FOO (Family of Origin) issues. Cedar, WHY NOW???
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<blockquote data-quote="Scent of Cedar *" data-source="post: 658660" data-attributes="member: 17461"><p>I cannot not engage with them, yet. It feels like this all has to have been a mistake, a wrongness in the air or something. And I did make the decision to disengage, but I was like, trying it on for size or something. And to wish them well and to leave them to themselves, and to be sad for myself that this was so and to believe, with all my heart, that we would all come together somehow in the end. But like your sister does to you too, SWOT, my sister called me anyway. And I was clearer enough to not understand how she could possibly be calling me if what it looked like she felt was how she felt.</p><p></p><p>I was not seeing through my own eyes, SWOT.</p><p></p><p>I was seeing myself through the eyes of my abusers.</p><p></p><p>Startling clarity of vision, like in that poem I posted somewhere while we were beginning this process. </p><p></p><p>Or, like the sound of one hand, clapping.</p><p></p><p>Or like that beggars cup which holds the reflections that tell us who we are.</p><p></p><p>I never imagined it would turn out to be what it is.</p><p></p><p>I am so surprised.</p><p></p><p>Cedar</p><p></p><p>And my sister calling like she did, and threatening to appear at my door like she did ~ those things were abuse, too. And <em>she</em> knew it, but like always, I never even had a clue.</p><p></p><p>I thought she loved me.</p><p></p><p>I really did.</p><p></p><p>Huh.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Scent of Cedar *, post: 658660, member: 17461"] I cannot not engage with them, yet. It feels like this all has to have been a mistake, a wrongness in the air or something. And I did make the decision to disengage, but I was like, trying it on for size or something. And to wish them well and to leave them to themselves, and to be sad for myself that this was so and to believe, with all my heart, that we would all come together somehow in the end. But like your sister does to you too, SWOT, my sister called me anyway. And I was clearer enough to not understand how she could possibly be calling me if what it looked like she felt was how she felt. I was not seeing through my own eyes, SWOT. I was seeing myself through the eyes of my abusers. Startling clarity of vision, like in that poem I posted somewhere while we were beginning this process. Or, like the sound of one hand, clapping. Or like that beggars cup which holds the reflections that tell us who we are. I never imagined it would turn out to be what it is. I am so surprised. Cedar And my sister calling like she did, and threatening to appear at my door like she did ~ those things were abuse, too. And [I]she[/I] knew it, but like always, I never even had a clue. I thought she loved me. I really did. Huh. [/QUOTE]
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Family of Origin
Hey, Cedar, or anyone interested in FOO (Family of Origin) issues. Cedar, WHY NOW???
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