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Family of Origin
Hey, Cedar, or anyone interested in FOO (Family of Origin) issues. Cedar, WHY NOW???
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<blockquote data-quote="BusynMember" data-source="post: 658683" data-attributes="member: 1550"><p>Copa, hi.</p><p></p><p>I missed you too.</p><p></p><p>I know how you feel. "Right thing" is subjective yet there are societal norms. However, many young people see wrongs with those societal norms and they feel they are right even when it hurts them. I'm not sure I'm making sense.</p><p></p><p>I'm sorry you have not heard from your son.</p><p></p><p>Cedar, I was jealous of my sister, not because she would take up time. She got far less time than a newborn deserves, if I recall correctly. And I got no attention either really unless I was doing something wrong or throwing a tantrum...it was attention, but negative attention.</p><p></p><p>I was jealous of my sister when I was a girl because s he seemed to be the only family member who was normal and had friends. I did not realize she was suffering too. I did not notice that between my brother's illness and my emotional problems she got NO attention at home. She noticed it, of course, since it was herself going through it.</p><p>I do feel bad because her childhood was not good either and yet I was jealous and teased her because of it. And no parent stepped in to help either of us and we both needed help. My brother got ALL the attention from our mother.</p><p></p><p>Just like my mother's brother got all the accolades in her family by my grandmother. Again, I love her with all my heart even now. I would have had no idea about love if she hadn't loved me. But I see that she did the divide and conquer bit too.</p><p></p><p>Cedar, our families were like they were because the people on top, our parents, did not take the time to learn how to parent or didn't want to parent. Our mothers wanted us to do whatever they wanted; be what they wanted (more in your case; the former in my case). And our sisters picked it up.</p><p></p><p>You sound like you were a compliant child who tried to please your mother. I don't get why you'd end up being scapegoated. I was the one who asked questions and defied her, so I understand why I was the scapegoat, since there always is a scapegoat when parents are dysfunctional. I don't understand how you got that status.</p><p></p><p>Oh, well. I'm starting to think that "why" (Y) is just a letter in the alphabet for us.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="BusynMember, post: 658683, member: 1550"] Copa, hi. I missed you too. I know how you feel. "Right thing" is subjective yet there are societal norms. However, many young people see wrongs with those societal norms and they feel they are right even when it hurts them. I'm not sure I'm making sense. I'm sorry you have not heard from your son. Cedar, I was jealous of my sister, not because she would take up time. She got far less time than a newborn deserves, if I recall correctly. And I got no attention either really unless I was doing something wrong or throwing a tantrum...it was attention, but negative attention. I was jealous of my sister when I was a girl because s he seemed to be the only family member who was normal and had friends. I did not realize she was suffering too. I did not notice that between my brother's illness and my emotional problems she got NO attention at home. She noticed it, of course, since it was herself going through it. I do feel bad because her childhood was not good either and yet I was jealous and teased her because of it. And no parent stepped in to help either of us and we both needed help. My brother got ALL the attention from our mother. Just like my mother's brother got all the accolades in her family by my grandmother. Again, I love her with all my heart even now. I would have had no idea about love if she hadn't loved me. But I see that she did the divide and conquer bit too. Cedar, our families were like they were because the people on top, our parents, did not take the time to learn how to parent or didn't want to parent. Our mothers wanted us to do whatever they wanted; be what they wanted (more in your case; the former in my case). And our sisters picked it up. You sound like you were a compliant child who tried to please your mother. I don't get why you'd end up being scapegoated. I was the one who asked questions and defied her, so I understand why I was the scapegoat, since there always is a scapegoat when parents are dysfunctional. I don't understand how you got that status. Oh, well. I'm starting to think that "why" (Y) is just a letter in the alphabet for us. [/QUOTE]
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Family of Origin
Hey, Cedar, or anyone interested in FOO (Family of Origin) issues. Cedar, WHY NOW???
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