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General Discussions
Family of Origin
Hey, Cedar, or anyone interested in FOO (Family of Origin) issues. Cedar, WHY NOW???
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<blockquote data-quote="BusynMember" data-source="post: 660426" data-attributes="member: 1550"><p>COPA, I'm curious? What is it you expect him to do in order to visit your house and are you sure he can do it? Do you want him to quit drugs?</p><p></p><p>Since it hurts you so much, would it be that terrible to let him home once in a while for a bath and a meal? I'm not saying to let him move back in. What makes this impossible? Drugs? Disrespect? How he turned out? He is probably never going to be able to be what you dreamed for him. He DOES have challenges.</p><p></p><p>I don't BLAME you for not letting him home, but you did forgive your mother, and it seems to hurt YOU so much that he is angry at you and not in your life enough.Why torture yourself? You have to think about yourself too. If estrangement from him is so hurtful, why not gentle it a bit?</p><p></p><p>Any answer is ok. There is no right or wrong answer. I'm just trying to figure out how to help you. I don't really recall your main issues with him. Drugs? I'd also say no. Not thriving? Id let the kid home once in a while. Partly for the adult child, partly for me. Disrespect and violence? No. But I'd meet my adult child in restaurants and buy dinner sometimes.Is it possible that he can't really do it alone? That he is too disabled? Not everyone can figure it out. I don't know these answers. I'm just throwing stuff out there...</p><p></p><p>There has to be a better way. You are suffering as much or more than he is...it's not fair to YOURSELF.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="BusynMember, post: 660426, member: 1550"] COPA, I'm curious? What is it you expect him to do in order to visit your house and are you sure he can do it? Do you want him to quit drugs? Since it hurts you so much, would it be that terrible to let him home once in a while for a bath and a meal? I'm not saying to let him move back in. What makes this impossible? Drugs? Disrespect? How he turned out? He is probably never going to be able to be what you dreamed for him. He DOES have challenges. I don't BLAME you for not letting him home, but you did forgive your mother, and it seems to hurt YOU so much that he is angry at you and not in your life enough.Why torture yourself? You have to think about yourself too. If estrangement from him is so hurtful, why not gentle it a bit? Any answer is ok. There is no right or wrong answer. I'm just trying to figure out how to help you. I don't really recall your main issues with him. Drugs? I'd also say no. Not thriving? Id let the kid home once in a while. Partly for the adult child, partly for me. Disrespect and violence? No. But I'd meet my adult child in restaurants and buy dinner sometimes.Is it possible that he can't really do it alone? That he is too disabled? Not everyone can figure it out. I don't know these answers. I'm just throwing stuff out there... There has to be a better way. You are suffering as much or more than he is...it's not fair to YOURSELF. [/QUOTE]
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Family of Origin
Hey, Cedar, or anyone interested in FOO (Family of Origin) issues. Cedar, WHY NOW???
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