Forums
New posts
Search forums
What's new
New posts
New profile posts
Latest activity
Internet Search
Members
Current visitors
New profile posts
Search profile posts
Log in
Register
What's new
Search
Search
Search titles only
By:
New posts
Search forums
Menu
Log in
Register
Install the app
Install
Forums
General Discussions
Family of Origin
Hey, Cedar, or anyone interested in FOO (Family of Origin) issues. Cedar, WHY NOW???
JavaScript is disabled. For a better experience, please enable JavaScript in your browser before proceeding.
You are using an out of date browser. It may not display this or other websites correctly.
You should upgrade or use an
alternative browser
.
Reply to thread
Message
<blockquote data-quote="Copabanana" data-source="post: 660450" data-attributes="member: 18958"><p>I had thought there was a reasonable chance if he had to be responsible for the results of his choices and was not bailed out by me he would start to resolve these things himself. </p><p></p><p>He wants to be completely dependent upon me or others to handle his housing, so that he can use all of his money on his supplements, special food and marijuana. </p><p></p><p>At the same time he wants to have authority over us. To decide the rules for the pets. He is domineering over me, manipulative and aggressive. He brings his marijuana here, when we ask him not too. When we talk to him, or tell him something he does not like, he calls the cops on us and tries to get us put in jail. The last time that happened he pinned M down and gave him a black eye. When he stays here, I get very stressed out and get sick. </p><p></p><p>The thing is he is manipulative. He thinks he can trick me by lying so that I will do what he wants and let him have what he wants. In the case of last night, for example, those were falsehoods designed to trick me into allowing him to spend the night. If he stayed over the night, he would want to be here for weeks or as long as he wanted. Then it would start over again. He would dominate the house. He would get aggressive. I would spend all day and night in my bedroom, and not leave.</p><p>Today, I am going to call Social Security and speak to a supervisor, to insist on his having a payee. We went together 5 or so months ago, and he asked SS to make me his payee. They refused because they said they do not like to take over his rights. I will not ask to be his payee. I will ask for his having a payee designated, because people are taking advantage of him. Taking his money and throwing him out. Then there is the issue of his money lasting the month, which it is not.</p><p>It is a combination of things. Marijuana when we say no. His hiding it. We find it. Him, being stoned. Visibly under the influence. Dominance and not wanting to respect our rules. While he is physically clean, he is really messy in the house. With food, particularly. He picks something up that he sees, takes a bite and leaves it if he does not like it. He will hide food in strange places. Once we found hamburger meat and maggots in a drawer. Wet dirty towels around, etc. The calling police to get us put in jail could be serious. M's status for example and I have a professional license. </p><p>That makes me think of my sister. How she felt entitled to take over my mother's life and do as she wanted with it. </p><p>When I was 8 my mother divorced and went to work. Then started my responsibility for the house and the increase in my responsibility for my sister. She remarried when I was 11 and stopped working. But I had major chores in the house still, until I left home.</p><p>Do you think, Cedar, that your mother has this mindset about everything and everybody or mainly you? Cedar, it sounds wonderful that your daughter and the kids are with you. Have lots of fun.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Copabanana, post: 660450, member: 18958"] I had thought there was a reasonable chance if he had to be responsible for the results of his choices and was not bailed out by me he would start to resolve these things himself. He wants to be completely dependent upon me or others to handle his housing, so that he can use all of his money on his supplements, special food and marijuana. At the same time he wants to have authority over us. To decide the rules for the pets. He is domineering over me, manipulative and aggressive. He brings his marijuana here, when we ask him not too. When we talk to him, or tell him something he does not like, he calls the cops on us and tries to get us put in jail. The last time that happened he pinned M down and gave him a black eye. When he stays here, I get very stressed out and get sick. The thing is he is manipulative. He thinks he can trick me by lying so that I will do what he wants and let him have what he wants. In the case of last night, for example, those were falsehoods designed to trick me into allowing him to spend the night. If he stayed over the night, he would want to be here for weeks or as long as he wanted. Then it would start over again. He would dominate the house. He would get aggressive. I would spend all day and night in my bedroom, and not leave. Today, I am going to call Social Security and speak to a supervisor, to insist on his having a payee. We went together 5 or so months ago, and he asked SS to make me his payee. They refused because they said they do not like to take over his rights. I will not ask to be his payee. I will ask for his having a payee designated, because people are taking advantage of him. Taking his money and throwing him out. Then there is the issue of his money lasting the month, which it is not. It is a combination of things. Marijuana when we say no. His hiding it. We find it. Him, being stoned. Visibly under the influence. Dominance and not wanting to respect our rules. While he is physically clean, he is really messy in the house. With food, particularly. He picks something up that he sees, takes a bite and leaves it if he does not like it. He will hide food in strange places. Once we found hamburger meat and maggots in a drawer. Wet dirty towels around, etc. The calling police to get us put in jail could be serious. M's status for example and I have a professional license. That makes me think of my sister. How she felt entitled to take over my mother's life and do as she wanted with it. When I was 8 my mother divorced and went to work. Then started my responsibility for the house and the increase in my responsibility for my sister. She remarried when I was 11 and stopped working. But I had major chores in the house still, until I left home. Do you think, Cedar, that your mother has this mindset about everything and everybody or mainly you? Cedar, it sounds wonderful that your daughter and the kids are with you. Have lots of fun. [/QUOTE]
Insert quotes…
Verification
Post reply
Forums
General Discussions
Family of Origin
Hey, Cedar, or anyone interested in FOO (Family of Origin) issues. Cedar, WHY NOW???
Top