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Family of Origin
Hey, Cedar, or anyone interested in FOO (Family of Origin) issues. Cedar, WHY NOW???
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<blockquote data-quote="Scent of Cedar *" data-source="post: 661032" data-attributes="member: 17461"><p>Copa, daughter is not being treated for addiction. The dilaudid is for pain. We have questions too (boy, do we), about why such strong medications are still being prescribed when the beating happened over a year and a half ago. There are rational explanations. At a point though, we remind ourselves of everything we all have been through; we remind ourselves that we knew lots of old issues would come up. (This is the first time we have been all together since the ~ since what happened.) We really are happy to have this time together; we did not know how difficult parts of it would be. Which sounds sappy but what I mean is that we are doing our best to keep a positive attitude and do the right thing. Time is short. The kids are little now, and will be growing quickly.</p><p></p><p>Here is something so whacky it is hard to believe.</p><p></p><p>So, when Baklava grand was here, the kitchen sink plugged up so tight. We think it was the loose tea from the hippie tea blending person Baklava grand had spent those weeks with. So...D H rents the Ram Power air blowing pipe blasting machine, right? And it blasted something loose and all at once the water was draining like magic! We ran water down that drain like nobody's business until we realized the clog was still there and it was a pipe fitting which had broken loose. The water drained under the sink and then...through the kitchen and into the carpeting in the living room!!!</p><p></p><p>So, we brought the Ram Power whatever back and got a snake.</p><p></p><p>That worked. The kitchen sink has drained beautifully since and I was able to host my Book Club after all.</p><p></p><p>This morning?</p><p></p><p>The washing machine drained into the bathtub.</p><p></p><p>That means the drain connecting to both is plugged.</p><p></p><p>All of us have long hair. One of us has braids of artificial hair.</p><p></p><p>roar</p><p></p><p><em>Calm dominant.</em></p><p></p><p>We are snaking that line, tomorrow.</p><p></p><p>D H actually took it very well when I told him.</p><p></p><p>The good thing here is that, with six of us here now (one a 16 year old girl and two little boys plus the three adults) all the laundry was finished before the pipe clogged. It was this morning's last load that drained into the tub.</p><p></p><p>Ahem.</p><p></p><p>Little bright spot, there. That the laundry is done, I mean.</p><p></p><p>:O)</p><p></p><p>Tonight? We are doing a pizza party and watching movies. (Last night, we watched the Brad Pitt movie about the baby born as an old man and aging backwards. We had such a nice time and ate popcorn and enjoyed it very much. We actually had lots of popcorn. We made baby back ribs for dinner last night. As it turns out, the kids do not enjoy baby back ribs. They have mashed potato texture issues.</p><p></p><p>And had cheeseburgers just before they got home.</p><p></p><p><em>Calm dominant.</em></p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p>I am sorry things are not working out better for you two, Copa. Better a meltdown than for your son to override or trick you or M, though. Good for the two of you that </p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p>I would want to know when the sister had stopped stalking me, too.</p><p></p><p>So, it's an understandable cheat, SWOT. Like Copa, I think your sister will never let you go.</p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p>Recent, SWOT?</p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p>That's the thing. Whatever we do, however hard we try, nothing works the way it should. We blame ourselves, when what we should do (I am coming so firmly to believe) is admire ourselves. There is no way all these things could go so completely wrong every single time unless our kids really are working at cross purposes to us.</p><p></p><p>Copa, you and I both need to look at how well we are handling impossibly difficult things where nothing is clear and no one even knows anymore what any of us are working toward. </p><p></p><p>How dare your son treat either you or M this way.</p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p>I'm sorry, Copa.</p><p></p><p>We need to stand in that place where what they do is wrong, not in that place where we wonder what wrong thing we did to "make" them treat us disrespectfully.</p><p></p><p>Just a change of perspective.</p><p></p><p>Calm dominant, right Copa?</p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p>It does hurt, Copa. Your son is wrong to hurt his mother this way. If your son had behaved well, you would not have been angry. You have nothing to feel badly about Copa. Like D H and I currently, you and M are acting in good faith. </p><p></p><p>That needs to be the guideline by which we measure ourselves and our choices and behaviors. Not outcome, but intent.</p><p></p><p>It is Happy Hour here. Have a good night, everybody! </p><p></p><p>Cedar</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Scent of Cedar *, post: 661032, member: 17461"] Copa, daughter is not being treated for addiction. The dilaudid is for pain. We have questions too (boy, do we), about why such strong medications are still being prescribed when the beating happened over a year and a half ago. There are rational explanations. At a point though, we remind ourselves of everything we all have been through; we remind ourselves that we knew lots of old issues would come up. (This is the first time we have been all together since the ~ since what happened.) We really are happy to have this time together; we did not know how difficult parts of it would be. Which sounds sappy but what I mean is that we are doing our best to keep a positive attitude and do the right thing. Time is short. The kids are little now, and will be growing quickly. Here is something so whacky it is hard to believe. So, when Baklava grand was here, the kitchen sink plugged up so tight. We think it was the loose tea from the hippie tea blending person Baklava grand had spent those weeks with. So...D H rents the Ram Power air blowing pipe blasting machine, right? And it blasted something loose and all at once the water was draining like magic! We ran water down that drain like nobody's business until we realized the clog was still there and it was a pipe fitting which had broken loose. The water drained under the sink and then...through the kitchen and into the carpeting in the living room!!! So, we brought the Ram Power whatever back and got a snake. That worked. The kitchen sink has drained beautifully since and I was able to host my Book Club after all. This morning? The washing machine drained into the bathtub. That means the drain connecting to both is plugged. All of us have long hair. One of us has braids of artificial hair. roar [I]Calm dominant.[/I] We are snaking that line, tomorrow. D H actually took it very well when I told him. The good thing here is that, with six of us here now (one a 16 year old girl and two little boys plus the three adults) all the laundry was finished before the pipe clogged. It was this morning's last load that drained into the tub. Ahem. Little bright spot, there. That the laundry is done, I mean. :O) Tonight? We are doing a pizza party and watching movies. (Last night, we watched the Brad Pitt movie about the baby born as an old man and aging backwards. We had such a nice time and ate popcorn and enjoyed it very much. We actually had lots of popcorn. We made baby back ribs for dinner last night. As it turns out, the kids do not enjoy baby back ribs. They have mashed potato texture issues. And had cheeseburgers just before they got home. [I]Calm dominant.[/I] I am sorry things are not working out better for you two, Copa. Better a meltdown than for your son to override or trick you or M, though. Good for the two of you that I would want to know when the sister had stopped stalking me, too. So, it's an understandable cheat, SWOT. Like Copa, I think your sister will never let you go. Recent, SWOT? That's the thing. Whatever we do, however hard we try, nothing works the way it should. We blame ourselves, when what we should do (I am coming so firmly to believe) is admire ourselves. There is no way all these things could go so completely wrong every single time unless our kids really are working at cross purposes to us. Copa, you and I both need to look at how well we are handling impossibly difficult things where nothing is clear and no one even knows anymore what any of us are working toward. How dare your son treat either you or M this way. I'm sorry, Copa. We need to stand in that place where what they do is wrong, not in that place where we wonder what wrong thing we did to "make" them treat us disrespectfully. Just a change of perspective. Calm dominant, right Copa? It does hurt, Copa. Your son is wrong to hurt his mother this way. If your son had behaved well, you would not have been angry. You have nothing to feel badly about Copa. Like D H and I currently, you and M are acting in good faith. That needs to be the guideline by which we measure ourselves and our choices and behaviors. Not outcome, but intent. It is Happy Hour here. Have a good night, everybody! Cedar [/QUOTE]
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Family of Origin
Hey, Cedar, or anyone interested in FOO (Family of Origin) issues. Cedar, WHY NOW???
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