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Family of Origin
Hey, Cedar, or anyone interested in FOO (Family of Origin) issues. Cedar, WHY NOW???
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<blockquote data-quote="BusynMember" data-source="post: 661139" data-attributes="member: 1550"><p>I think the winning to them means getting in the last word this time around. Usually they come back for more, but this time they win if they get in the last word. And, yes, it's mostly about you losing. But losing what? Abusive, mean, dysfunctional people who are morally bankrupt?</p><p></p><p>It's not our loss. If we can't do it ourselves (disconnect from them) they are doing us a marvelous favor by doing it for us. Let them bask in their "win." They have to be who they are and that is a terminal loss. I can not speak for my brother, who at least has his students (although no significant other ever, which is kind of a loss in my opinion), but my sister lives a miserable life in which she suffers every day because of her need for attention from t he wrong men. She has told me, "I like th e attention." Doesn't matter if the guy is a kid, is married with no plans of leaving the wife, has kids, anything. She NEEDS males to think she is beautiful and to tell her so. And most charmers are abusers, like her boyfriend of five years. She is madly nuts about him although he has never treated her well for any length of time. He does the abusive cycle...nice then mean then she seems to maybe want to leave so he sucks her back in with lies that you think she'd think ARE lies after so long. She runs back, they drink, he has another alcoholic confession then shes cries. Typical abusive cycle. Five years. Tears. Grief. Hers.</p><p></p><p>Some people make their own hell then need to take it out on other people. I'm glad my life's journey did not go there. I do not care about "male attention" nor abusive men. So she got the last word in with me, I think (it is rather vague). But even if she did...</p><p></p><p>Who lost?</p><p></p><p>Copa, Cedar, Insane...WE are not the ones who lost. </p><p></p><p>I am so glad I was able to get the help I needed to see this and I'm sharing it with all of you. My awesome therapist isn't awesome for nothing <img src="data:image/gif;base64,R0lGODlhAQABAIAAAAAAAP///yH5BAEAAAAALAAAAAABAAEAAAIBRAA7" class="smilie smilie--sprite smilie--sprite1" alt=":)" title="Smile :)" loading="lazy" data-shortname=":)" /></p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="BusynMember, post: 661139, member: 1550"] I think the winning to them means getting in the last word this time around. Usually they come back for more, but this time they win if they get in the last word. And, yes, it's mostly about you losing. But losing what? Abusive, mean, dysfunctional people who are morally bankrupt? It's not our loss. If we can't do it ourselves (disconnect from them) they are doing us a marvelous favor by doing it for us. Let them bask in their "win." They have to be who they are and that is a terminal loss. I can not speak for my brother, who at least has his students (although no significant other ever, which is kind of a loss in my opinion), but my sister lives a miserable life in which she suffers every day because of her need for attention from t he wrong men. She has told me, "I like th e attention." Doesn't matter if the guy is a kid, is married with no plans of leaving the wife, has kids, anything. She NEEDS males to think she is beautiful and to tell her so. And most charmers are abusers, like her boyfriend of five years. She is madly nuts about him although he has never treated her well for any length of time. He does the abusive cycle...nice then mean then she seems to maybe want to leave so he sucks her back in with lies that you think she'd think ARE lies after so long. She runs back, they drink, he has another alcoholic confession then shes cries. Typical abusive cycle. Five years. Tears. Grief. Hers. Some people make their own hell then need to take it out on other people. I'm glad my life's journey did not go there. I do not care about "male attention" nor abusive men. So she got the last word in with me, I think (it is rather vague). But even if she did... Who lost? Copa, Cedar, Insane...WE are not the ones who lost. I am so glad I was able to get the help I needed to see this and I'm sharing it with all of you. My awesome therapist isn't awesome for nothing :) [/QUOTE]
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General Discussions
Family of Origin
Hey, Cedar, or anyone interested in FOO (Family of Origin) issues. Cedar, WHY NOW???
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