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Family of Origin
Hey, Cedar, or anyone interested in FOO (Family of Origin) issues. Cedar, WHY NOW???
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<blockquote data-quote="Copabanana" data-source="post: 661494" data-attributes="member: 18958"><p>Thank you SWOT. You have helped me so much through this.Two things come to mind, SWOT. First, Lil and Jabber's son is very young. I for one do not think it is inappropriate that they help him connect with professionals. After all, I believe IC's son was hardly younger than theirs. He had just become an adult.</p><p></p><p>Second, not everybody has your strengths SWOT. That you did it alone does not mean that others can. You have skills for example that my son has not displayed. I would imagine you had them as a young woman too. You are a problem solver. You take responsibility. Too much, sometimes. You are motivated. You have an idea of what you need. What you want. My son has none of these capacities as yet.</p><p></p><p>The situations Lil and Jabber and I find ourselves in our difficult. We know our sons cannot live with us. We know there needs to be boundaries. We also know our kids need probably do need some support form us.</p><p></p><p>What we do not know yet is now is how to negotiate this balance between enabling and responsibility for an adult child who has limits that may be intrinsic, not a matter of choice.</p><p></p><p>SWOT you should not have had to be alone and negotiate this alone as an afraid and vulnerable and sad young woman.</p><p></p><p>That I was alone my whole life, too, is a great sadness for me.</p><p></p><p>That we did it ourselves is to our credit and is our pride. That some people can do it is great. Not everybody can.</p><p></p><p>I for one have to find the right role for myself with my son. And I have not yet done so. And it is hard.</p><p></p><p>PS Lil weighed in. She does not think her son would consent to diagnostic evaluations. Still, I will try with my own.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Copabanana, post: 661494, member: 18958"] Thank you SWOT. You have helped me so much through this.Two things come to mind, SWOT. First, Lil and Jabber's son is very young. I for one do not think it is inappropriate that they help him connect with professionals. After all, I believe IC's son was hardly younger than theirs. He had just become an adult. Second, not everybody has your strengths SWOT. That you did it alone does not mean that others can. You have skills for example that my son has not displayed. I would imagine you had them as a young woman too. You are a problem solver. You take responsibility. Too much, sometimes. You are motivated. You have an idea of what you need. What you want. My son has none of these capacities as yet. The situations Lil and Jabber and I find ourselves in our difficult. We know our sons cannot live with us. We know there needs to be boundaries. We also know our kids need probably do need some support form us. What we do not know yet is now is how to negotiate this balance between enabling and responsibility for an adult child who has limits that may be intrinsic, not a matter of choice. SWOT you should not have had to be alone and negotiate this alone as an afraid and vulnerable and sad young woman. That I was alone my whole life, too, is a great sadness for me. That we did it ourselves is to our credit and is our pride. That some people can do it is great. Not everybody can. I for one have to find the right role for myself with my son. And I have not yet done so. And it is hard. PS Lil weighed in. She does not think her son would consent to diagnostic evaluations. Still, I will try with my own. [/QUOTE]
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Family of Origin
Hey, Cedar, or anyone interested in FOO (Family of Origin) issues. Cedar, WHY NOW???
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