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Family of Origin
Hey, Cedar, or anyone interested in FOO (Family of Origin) issues. Cedar, WHY NOW???
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<blockquote data-quote="Scent of Cedar *" data-source="post: 661562" data-attributes="member: 17461"><p>A question of intent...yes. This dovetails nicely with SWOT's contention that our FOO are "morally bankrupt". It is difficult to believe it is what it looks and feels like. I find myself wondering what kind of person I am, to think such things. </p><p></p><p>"Repeated betrayal by those who have defined our worlds...."</p><p></p><p>This is extraordinary, Copa.</p><p></p><p><em>The criminal, newly wakened</em></p><p><em>wonder</em></p><p><em>at its crime</em></p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p>It does, doesn't it.</p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p><em>Savaged dead and stolen</em></p><p><em>blind</em></p><p></p><p>Yes! That is why I am always wondering what kind of person could think about their own family the way I seem to be thinking about mine. Yet, the pieces fit seamlessly.</p><p></p><p>Cinderella was very many good things. She was also hated with vicious intensity.</p><p></p><p>Oh, great.</p><p></p><p>And they do say that the psychology of the abusive relationship is to convince the victim they did not see what they saw or hear what they heard.</p><p></p><p><em>A blind and savaged child recall</em></p><p><em>it's first and bloodied tears</em></p><p><em>Metallic</em></p><p><em>copper colored fears</em></p><p></p><p><em>Recall shattered reflections</em></p><p><em>insane turnings and twistings</em></p><p></p><p><em>White candles</em></p><p><em>in an Innocent's mirror</em></p><p></p><p>Gaslighting.</p><p></p><p>Is my family so clever? And I forever am not getting the win. I can only conclude there is jealousy there. Or hatred. When did it begin? Were we hated as little kids? Why then do they tell us they love us? That is the set up. Of course it is. That is what we think we want. That is how they bait the trap.</p><p></p><p>Their actions are hateful.</p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p>TO CLARIFY: In our minds and hearts, the mother was perfect, would have been perfect, except for our not having been perfect enough. She had no choice but to fall apart; she felt so badly; she was out of control.</p><p></p><p>This is how our psyches work about <em>everything.</em> </p><p></p><p>If something is perfect, it is because it was always perfect and easily so; if something is dirtied or broken or wrong...we are guilty. There must have been something we could have done. Given the raging, out of control nature of the consequences to us as children who had no defense, we would have had to have invented this dynamic to maintain the illusion of control over our situations, and over the situations of those we were supposed to protect though we may secretly have wished them elsewhere.</p><p></p><p>What a nasty little brew we were forced to drink.</p><p></p><p>Cedar</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Scent of Cedar *, post: 661562, member: 17461"] A question of intent...yes. This dovetails nicely with SWOT's contention that our FOO are "morally bankrupt". It is difficult to believe it is what it looks and feels like. I find myself wondering what kind of person I am, to think such things. "Repeated betrayal by those who have defined our worlds...." This is extraordinary, Copa. [I]The criminal, newly wakened wonder at its crime[/I] It does, doesn't it. [I]Savaged dead and stolen blind[/I] Yes! That is why I am always wondering what kind of person could think about their own family the way I seem to be thinking about mine. Yet, the pieces fit seamlessly. Cinderella was very many good things. She was also hated with vicious intensity. Oh, great. And they do say that the psychology of the abusive relationship is to convince the victim they did not see what they saw or hear what they heard. [I]A blind and savaged child recall it's first and bloodied tears Metallic copper colored fears[/I] [I]Recall shattered reflections insane turnings and twistings[/I] [I]White candles in an Innocent's mirror[/I] Gaslighting. Is my family so clever? And I forever am not getting the win. I can only conclude there is jealousy there. Or hatred. When did it begin? Were we hated as little kids? Why then do they tell us they love us? That is the set up. Of course it is. That is what we think we want. That is how they bait the trap. Their actions are hateful. TO CLARIFY: In our minds and hearts, the mother was perfect, would have been perfect, except for our not having been perfect enough. She had no choice but to fall apart; she felt so badly; she was out of control. This is how our psyches work about [I]everything.[/I] If something is perfect, it is because it was always perfect and easily so; if something is dirtied or broken or wrong...we are guilty. There must have been something we could have done. Given the raging, out of control nature of the consequences to us as children who had no defense, we would have had to have invented this dynamic to maintain the illusion of control over our situations, and over the situations of those we were supposed to protect though we may secretly have wished them elsewhere. What a nasty little brew we were forced to drink. Cedar [/QUOTE]
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Hey, Cedar, or anyone interested in FOO (Family of Origin) issues. Cedar, WHY NOW???
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