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General Discussions
Family of Origin
Hey, Cedar, or anyone interested in FOO (Family of Origin) issues. Cedar, WHY NOW???
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<blockquote data-quote="BusynMember" data-source="post: 661644" data-attributes="member: 1550"><p>Hi there from beautiful Missouri. I'm alone today until Bart and Junior get here. Bart is at work and gets Junior from daycare after.</p><p></p><p>I am interested in the ways dysfunctional families work. And how children react to it. There are similarities--its our faults, divide and conquer, meanness about us spoken to us, either too much control or raving chaos but poor boundaries...yet all different. My mother was sensitive and if I, as an infant, hurt her by not letting her cuddle me easily, she just put me down and propped the bottle. She controlled the absurd...my hair length (and I did keep it long), whom I dated, what dolls I could own, what style clothing I could wear...but cared nothing about my learning coping skills, boundaries, behavior that is appropriate, manners and just write off school. Flunk. Who cares as long as that blond haired boy you brought home and said was Jewish was REALLY Jewish. And if Mom decided I lied about that, well, a night raid. Nutty.</p><p></p><p>And as children you two tried to please mom so she'd love you. I was sensitive, overly so, like my mom, vulnerable, cried on a dime. Sometimes I tried very hard to make her love me. Other times I challenged her and she was shocked and horrified and it was ME...I was bad. Must.be.punished in insidious ways. Make EVERYONE think I'm bad. That's what I'll do said the Mama bear. Now eat your porridge (except we had no sit down meals and ate what we wanted at will).</p><p></p><p>I am not sure whose mother is/was the craziest. They were all crazy in their ways. I am not sure who had the sickest sister or the meanest sister. I just know the family dynamics were so different with t he same results. Kick the scapegoat.</p><p></p><p>Rinse. Repeat.</p><p></p><p>Not any more, kids. Not anymore.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="BusynMember, post: 661644, member: 1550"] Hi there from beautiful Missouri. I'm alone today until Bart and Junior get here. Bart is at work and gets Junior from daycare after. I am interested in the ways dysfunctional families work. And how children react to it. There are similarities--its our faults, divide and conquer, meanness about us spoken to us, either too much control or raving chaos but poor boundaries...yet all different. My mother was sensitive and if I, as an infant, hurt her by not letting her cuddle me easily, she just put me down and propped the bottle. She controlled the absurd...my hair length (and I did keep it long), whom I dated, what dolls I could own, what style clothing I could wear...but cared nothing about my learning coping skills, boundaries, behavior that is appropriate, manners and just write off school. Flunk. Who cares as long as that blond haired boy you brought home and said was Jewish was REALLY Jewish. And if Mom decided I lied about that, well, a night raid. Nutty. And as children you two tried to please mom so she'd love you. I was sensitive, overly so, like my mom, vulnerable, cried on a dime. Sometimes I tried very hard to make her love me. Other times I challenged her and she was shocked and horrified and it was ME...I was bad. Must.be.punished in insidious ways. Make EVERYONE think I'm bad. That's what I'll do said the Mama bear. Now eat your porridge (except we had no sit down meals and ate what we wanted at will). I am not sure whose mother is/was the craziest. They were all crazy in their ways. I am not sure who had the sickest sister or the meanest sister. I just know the family dynamics were so different with t he same results. Kick the scapegoat. Rinse. Repeat. Not any more, kids. Not anymore. [/QUOTE]
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Family of Origin
Hey, Cedar, or anyone interested in FOO (Family of Origin) issues. Cedar, WHY NOW???
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