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Family of Origin
Hey, Cedar, or anyone interested in FOO (Family of Origin) issues. Cedar, WHY NOW???
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<blockquote data-quote="BusynMember" data-source="post: 661697" data-attributes="member: 1550"><p>Hi. I'm so sorry you're feeling sad. I'm waiting for the boys to get here. Enjoyed a day of being alone. Washed my hair and sat outside to dry it. Very warm here but not humid today. Scene in the back yard is beautiful. Very quiet neighborhood. I don't like neighborhoods with such inward, quiet neighbors but don't like nosy neighbors either. Guess I'm hard to please. This house is immaculate. Bart was NOT like this at home...lol.</p><p></p><p>Ok, where to start Well, first of all I will probably be all over the place because I don't have time to check the order in which you addressed issues. I do think that having an unsatisfactory conversation with your son triggers other issues in you, as it does in almost all loving mothers. Maybe because I sort of am like a Difficult Child and thumb my nose at convention, I don't think you should care one bit about if M. makes less money than you or if he makes any money at all because, as a person, he is so good and gives you what you need and want. Why care what foolish outsiders think about your arrangement? How happy are THEY in their relationships? Who are they to judge yours?</p><p></p><p>I like the idea of your son learning to work (a trade) with M. It is kind of him to offer and would form a bond with Difficult Child and also give him training to get on track. That one passes the test in *my* book. </p><p></p><p>Does not not make up for the fact that you have more assets than him? His kind intentions, good heart, love of your son?</p><p></p><p>I see a diamond in the rough. You should feel proud and lucky to have him. I guess the "married" part would maybe bother ME a little (not you possibly), but if they have been apart for eleven years it does not seem that he sis hiding this from anybody or that he is ever going to be with her again. This is more like an informal divorce. I would probably push the divorce bit, but that's me. It's not like he was living with his wife when you met him and that you broke up their marriage. </p><p></p><p>I think you should text your son that you love him and give M. a big hug when you see him next because both will make YOU feel good and this thread is about no longer satisfying others in place of ourselves. WE need to do what makes US happy.</p><p></p><p>Copa, I may post a thread about Amtrak. What a nightmare. I ended up getting here by Greyhound and will never use Amtrak again. Ugh. Flying too expensive for me plus I'm not a fan of flying. Greyhound was good to me. I enjoyed myself. The three hour layover in Chicago was peaceful and the folks were friendly. Amtrak...grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr. It was not the people, it was how their train (for the second time I've taken one to this area) was running four hours late so I just got off in Milwaukee with the Milwaukee people thinking I couldn't go to MIssouri and expecting Jumper and hubby to pick me up. But then I saw that it was a Greyhound Station too and I called hubby and, well, here I am. I made it. If I had stayed on Amtrak, I would not be here today.</p><p></p><p>Sorry for my own little vent. I hope you think about w hat nice things you can do for yourself tonight. I will "talk" to you later. Take GOOD good!!!!</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="BusynMember, post: 661697, member: 1550"] Hi. I'm so sorry you're feeling sad. I'm waiting for the boys to get here. Enjoyed a day of being alone. Washed my hair and sat outside to dry it. Very warm here but not humid today. Scene in the back yard is beautiful. Very quiet neighborhood. I don't like neighborhoods with such inward, quiet neighbors but don't like nosy neighbors either. Guess I'm hard to please. This house is immaculate. Bart was NOT like this at home...lol. Ok, where to start Well, first of all I will probably be all over the place because I don't have time to check the order in which you addressed issues. I do think that having an unsatisfactory conversation with your son triggers other issues in you, as it does in almost all loving mothers. Maybe because I sort of am like a Difficult Child and thumb my nose at convention, I don't think you should care one bit about if M. makes less money than you or if he makes any money at all because, as a person, he is so good and gives you what you need and want. Why care what foolish outsiders think about your arrangement? How happy are THEY in their relationships? Who are they to judge yours? I like the idea of your son learning to work (a trade) with M. It is kind of him to offer and would form a bond with Difficult Child and also give him training to get on track. That one passes the test in *my* book. Does not not make up for the fact that you have more assets than him? His kind intentions, good heart, love of your son? I see a diamond in the rough. You should feel proud and lucky to have him. I guess the "married" part would maybe bother ME a little (not you possibly), but if they have been apart for eleven years it does not seem that he sis hiding this from anybody or that he is ever going to be with her again. This is more like an informal divorce. I would probably push the divorce bit, but that's me. It's not like he was living with his wife when you met him and that you broke up their marriage. I think you should text your son that you love him and give M. a big hug when you see him next because both will make YOU feel good and this thread is about no longer satisfying others in place of ourselves. WE need to do what makes US happy. Copa, I may post a thread about Amtrak. What a nightmare. I ended up getting here by Greyhound and will never use Amtrak again. Ugh. Flying too expensive for me plus I'm not a fan of flying. Greyhound was good to me. I enjoyed myself. The three hour layover in Chicago was peaceful and the folks were friendly. Amtrak...grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr. It was not the people, it was how their train (for the second time I've taken one to this area) was running four hours late so I just got off in Milwaukee with the Milwaukee people thinking I couldn't go to MIssouri and expecting Jumper and hubby to pick me up. But then I saw that it was a Greyhound Station too and I called hubby and, well, here I am. I made it. If I had stayed on Amtrak, I would not be here today. Sorry for my own little vent. I hope you think about w hat nice things you can do for yourself tonight. I will "talk" to you later. Take GOOD good!!!! [/QUOTE]
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Family of Origin
Hey, Cedar, or anyone interested in FOO (Family of Origin) issues. Cedar, WHY NOW???
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