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Family of Origin
Hey, Cedar, or anyone interested in FOO (Family of Origin) issues. Cedar, WHY NOW???
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<blockquote data-quote="Scent of Cedar *" data-source="post: 661765" data-attributes="member: 17461"><p>I have allowed unpleasant conclusions regarding FOO, Copa. At first, all those terrible ways I saw myself, all that hatred, all that wrongness ~ those feelings, raw and unfiltered, were there inside me. (I was beginning to wonder what I'd stumbled into!)</p><p></p><p>These issues are slowly resolving.</p><p></p><p>It was another pocket of toxicity.</p><p></p><p>But I made it through; or at least, I see that I am making progress and so I know that I will come through it.</p><p></p><p>I found my process relevant in regard to your comment Copa because our responses, that willingness not to confront or even, to justify taking it out on ourselves (as I did in putting writing aside, as you did in putting your life on hold) may be playing into this for our kids. We (I do) need to stop sacrificing ourselves because it is not working. We need to be stronger; we need to be present; we need to see clearly and stop functioning around fulcrums of guilt or shame. It is what it is; our kids need us, and we need to stand up and the old ways are not working.</p><p></p><p>That is why we are sifting through all this. To learn where the leftover brokenness is and address it so we can change things for ourselves and for our kids. Weakness hasn't worked. No hero stepped up <em>as the males who love us stepped into the fray for us when, as beautiful young girls, we left our toxic FOO</em> <em>behind</em>. Perhaps that is how we thought this would resolve. That if we sacrificed everything that we created, sacrificed everything that we were passionate about or that was good about us, someone would save us. That is the lesson of our young lives: Just don't think, Cedar. Don't you dare, Cedar. </p><p></p><p>There is something important here, Copa and SWOT.</p><p></p><p>Something having to do with core belief systems.</p><p></p><p>From this time, we will come away knowing we are our own heroes.</p><p></p><p>That may be the hero imagery, the concept and music and feeling of hero imagery accompanying this time, for me.</p><p></p><p>We have been saved before by males who love us, because they loved us. Now, we will save ourselves because we love ourselves. After all this so long a time, SWOT and Copa and IC, we are unraveling the truth of those messages we learned in the toxic pond.</p><p> </p><p>Our compassion, vulnerability, and trust have exposed the predators in our lives. Though these were painful things for us to acknowledge, at the end of the day, we have seen the paltriness of their reward systems exposed.</p><p></p><p>We can leave them behind; we know now who they are.</p><p></p><p>Now I forgot where I was going with this.</p><p></p><p>:O)</p><p></p><p>Cedar</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Scent of Cedar *, post: 661765, member: 17461"] I have allowed unpleasant conclusions regarding FOO, Copa. At first, all those terrible ways I saw myself, all that hatred, all that wrongness ~ those feelings, raw and unfiltered, were there inside me. (I was beginning to wonder what I'd stumbled into!) These issues are slowly resolving. It was another pocket of toxicity. But I made it through; or at least, I see that I am making progress and so I know that I will come through it. I found my process relevant in regard to your comment Copa because our responses, that willingness not to confront or even, to justify taking it out on ourselves (as I did in putting writing aside, as you did in putting your life on hold) may be playing into this for our kids. We (I do) need to stop sacrificing ourselves because it is not working. We need to be stronger; we need to be present; we need to see clearly and stop functioning around fulcrums of guilt or shame. It is what it is; our kids need us, and we need to stand up and the old ways are not working. That is why we are sifting through all this. To learn where the leftover brokenness is and address it so we can change things for ourselves and for our kids. Weakness hasn't worked. No hero stepped up [I]as the males who love us stepped into the fray for us when, as beautiful young girls, we left our toxic FOO[/I] [I]behind[/I]. Perhaps that is how we thought this would resolve. That if we sacrificed everything that we created, sacrificed everything that we were passionate about or that was good about us, someone would save us. That is the lesson of our young lives: Just don't think, Cedar. Don't you dare, Cedar. There is something important here, Copa and SWOT. Something having to do with core belief systems. From this time, we will come away knowing we are our own heroes. That may be the hero imagery, the concept and music and feeling of hero imagery accompanying this time, for me. We have been saved before by males who love us, because they loved us. Now, we will save ourselves because we love ourselves. After all this so long a time, SWOT and Copa and IC, we are unraveling the truth of those messages we learned in the toxic pond. Our compassion, vulnerability, and trust have exposed the predators in our lives. Though these were painful things for us to acknowledge, at the end of the day, we have seen the paltriness of their reward systems exposed. We can leave them behind; we know now who they are. Now I forgot where I was going with this. :O) Cedar [/QUOTE]
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Hey, Cedar, or anyone interested in FOO (Family of Origin) issues. Cedar, WHY NOW???
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