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Family of Origin
Hey, Cedar, or anyone interested in FOO (Family of Origin) issues. Cedar, WHY NOW???
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<blockquote data-quote="Scent of Cedar *" data-source="post: 661821" data-attributes="member: 17461"><p>I like this imagery. I think that as we mothered and mothered well, those scales were balanced in our favor. Our FOO were terrible, toxic things, but they mattered less than our beautiful lives. When our children fell, the scales became unbalanced. </p><p></p><p>The blindfold fell away.</p><p></p><p>Behind it?</p><p></p><p>The smug, condemnatory eyes of our mothers. They told us they'd known all along that we would fail. <em>After all, if we succeeded where they failed, who did that make them?</em></p><p></p><p><em>Even their condemnation is a global darkness, is nothing personal.</em></p><p></p><p>Stop believing them, Copa.</p><p></p><p>They lie.</p><p></p><p>Every word out of their mouths: a lie.</p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p>It helps me to understand that what I need to do is hold myself with compassion. Even if I hate myself, that is what I must do. I understand that the way it feels today is a pale echo of what it felt like when it was happening to that little girl that I was. You can save her now, Copa; but you have to not give up on her. The intensity of the feelings now is an echo. <em>How, in all the hells that ever were, did that little girl who was you survive it when she knew nothing about the world, or that she would escape the mother one day?</em></p><p></p><p>Your loyalty cannot be to your mom, Copa.</p><p></p><p>Your loyalty is to that little girl that was you.</p><p></p><p>I felt myself to be so ugly, when I first began going back to rescue that girl that I was. I loved her, anyway. I assured her we had survived. I assured her that, as I was there with her now, I was also there with her, then.</p><p></p><p>And we made it; and I always knew we would make it because I came back for her, and I could not have done that if we had not always been meant to make it.</p><p></p><p>We are here on purpose, Copa.</p><p></p><p>I don't know what your purpose will be. I do know it is important that you heal, that you do your best to heal.</p><p></p><p>It was important for me, for SWOT, for IC. We have this forum. Here we all are.</p><p></p><p><em>And we are recovering and uncovering and healing at a truly remarkable pace.</em></p><p></p><p>:O)</p><p></p><p>Happy Hour here. D H is waiting. He has already sent the dog in to get me once.</p><p></p><p>Have a good night, everyone.</p><p></p><p>Cedar</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Scent of Cedar *, post: 661821, member: 17461"] I like this imagery. I think that as we mothered and mothered well, those scales were balanced in our favor. Our FOO were terrible, toxic things, but they mattered less than our beautiful lives. When our children fell, the scales became unbalanced. The blindfold fell away. Behind it? The smug, condemnatory eyes of our mothers. They told us they'd known all along that we would fail. [I]After all, if we succeeded where they failed, who did that make them?[/I] [I]Even their condemnation is a global darkness, is nothing personal.[/I] Stop believing them, Copa. They lie. Every word out of their mouths: a lie. It helps me to understand that what I need to do is hold myself with compassion. Even if I hate myself, that is what I must do. I understand that the way it feels today is a pale echo of what it felt like when it was happening to that little girl that I was. You can save her now, Copa; but you have to not give up on her. The intensity of the feelings now is an echo. [I]How, in all the hells that ever were, did that little girl who was you survive it when she knew nothing about the world, or that she would escape the mother one day?[/I] Your loyalty cannot be to your mom, Copa. Your loyalty is to that little girl that was you. I felt myself to be so ugly, when I first began going back to rescue that girl that I was. I loved her, anyway. I assured her we had survived. I assured her that, as I was there with her now, I was also there with her, then. And we made it; and I always knew we would make it because I came back for her, and I could not have done that if we had not always been meant to make it. We are here on purpose, Copa. I don't know what your purpose will be. I do know it is important that you heal, that you do your best to heal. It was important for me, for SWOT, for IC. We have this forum. Here we all are. [I]And we are recovering and uncovering and healing at a truly remarkable pace.[/I] :O) Happy Hour here. D H is waiting. He has already sent the dog in to get me once. Have a good night, everyone. Cedar [/QUOTE]
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Hey, Cedar, or anyone interested in FOO (Family of Origin) issues. Cedar, WHY NOW???
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