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General Discussions
Family of Origin
Hey, Cedar, or anyone interested in FOO (Family of Origin) issues. Cedar, WHY NOW???
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<blockquote data-quote="allusedup" data-source="post: 661904" data-attributes="member: 19029"><p>Hello to all!I have been looking for this thread for weeks. I have been following your posts, all of you. What I see is amazing. You all have been through and still are going through the worsts things imaginable...things that would paralyze the average person. But none of you are average. You are all strong, beautiful, kind, loving, compassionate women. Still putting one foot in front of the other, facing whatever each new day brings AND reaching out to help each other. I know many people who have been through much less and all they can think of and talk about is themselves. No, you are not average.</p><p> Copa, about M...I was married to a man that never worked. Never supported me in anything, never helped me with anything (repairs on the house, housework), was very verbally abusive, caused problems with my family, used me for what I could give him, smoked pot EVERY DAY and if he ran out, he was worse, and as my son started to get a little older ( about 8 ) he was verbally abusive with him. I stayed at first because I loved him and thought he would change, lol. I was 19. Then I stayed because I felt guilty and sorry for him. Typical battered wife syndrome. My point is this-I left because of the way he treated me and my child. It had nothing to do with money. If he had been half as good to me as you say M is to you, I would have never left. Don't worry what other people say. The qualities M has are a rare thing nowdays, with or without a job. As long as he contributes what he can and doesn't take advantage of you, let it be, in my opinion. </p><p> I know you are grieving over your sons problems. I can certainly empathize...as a true enabler, my feelings and mood are directly related to my sons. Have you read 'Co-dependent No More' ? I have read it 3 times and it was the hardest book I've ever read because I saw myself on every page. I was CD with my ex and have been that way with my son. But I am getting better. I am so damaged from my marriage that I will never have another relatioship, just the thought scares me. I am the blacksheep of my foo and T is my only child. So it has been hard but I am trying to let go. </p><p> Sorry I have been rambling. I have so much on my mind and no one to talk to. Finding this board is like finding the voice of reason and has become the highlight of my day! Bless you all!</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="allusedup, post: 661904, member: 19029"] Hello to all!I have been looking for this thread for weeks. I have been following your posts, all of you. What I see is amazing. You all have been through and still are going through the worsts things imaginable...things that would paralyze the average person. But none of you are average. You are all strong, beautiful, kind, loving, compassionate women. Still putting one foot in front of the other, facing whatever each new day brings AND reaching out to help each other. I know many people who have been through much less and all they can think of and talk about is themselves. No, you are not average. Copa, about M...I was married to a man that never worked. Never supported me in anything, never helped me with anything (repairs on the house, housework), was very verbally abusive, caused problems with my family, used me for what I could give him, smoked pot EVERY DAY and if he ran out, he was worse, and as my son started to get a little older ( about 8 ) he was verbally abusive with him. I stayed at first because I loved him and thought he would change, lol. I was 19. Then I stayed because I felt guilty and sorry for him. Typical battered wife syndrome. My point is this-I left because of the way he treated me and my child. It had nothing to do with money. If he had been half as good to me as you say M is to you, I would have never left. Don't worry what other people say. The qualities M has are a rare thing nowdays, with or without a job. As long as he contributes what he can and doesn't take advantage of you, let it be, in my opinion. I know you are grieving over your sons problems. I can certainly empathize...as a true enabler, my feelings and mood are directly related to my sons. Have you read 'Co-dependent No More' ? I have read it 3 times and it was the hardest book I've ever read because I saw myself on every page. I was CD with my ex and have been that way with my son. But I am getting better. I am so damaged from my marriage that I will never have another relatioship, just the thought scares me. I am the blacksheep of my foo and T is my only child. So it has been hard but I am trying to let go. Sorry I have been rambling. I have so much on my mind and no one to talk to. Finding this board is like finding the voice of reason and has become the highlight of my day! Bless you all! [/QUOTE]
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Family of Origin
Hey, Cedar, or anyone interested in FOO (Family of Origin) issues. Cedar, WHY NOW???
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