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Family of Origin
Hey, Cedar, or anyone interested in FOO (Family of Origin) issues. Cedar, WHY NOW???
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<blockquote data-quote="Scent of Cedar *" data-source="post: 662403" data-attributes="member: 17461"><p>I know you meant Insane Canadian. It made me laugh though, to read this. Have you seen it, Nerf?!?</p><p></p><p>:O)</p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p>Since reconnecting with FOO, Copa.</p><p></p><p>Like me; overwhelmed in the toxic of it, laid low by shattering geologic plates and hissing magma. Spewing, exploding, lighting the night skies; thundery and huge slabs of lightning.</p><p></p><p>Well alright. So now we know what that red stuff is.</p><p></p><p>Ahem.</p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p>The thing about insisting on a diagnosis like borderline:</p><p></p><p>1) It names your sister, that she does this. Her choices were condemnation or compassion. She picked and fastened on and rides "condemnation" real hard, SWOT.</p><p></p><p>With spurs, she rides "condemantion".</p><p></p><p>So you know who she is.</p><p></p><p>I am sorry.</p><p></p><p>It is a sad truth for each of us that our sisters...I don't know what to say. I know ladies who love and are loved by their sisters. It seems a magical thing to me, that this could be so.</p><p></p><p>We have nothing to grieve; we never had those things we grieve.</p><p></p><p>We do not have sisters now anymore than we ever had sisters. We each had only one sister; we cannot know what life might have been either without that sister at all, or with a sister who was normal.</p><p></p><p>It just is what it is.</p><p></p><p>It's fine.</p><p></p><p>2) In insisting that you <em>have </em>a diagnosis ~ especially right smack in the face of professional assessments indicating you absolutely do not fit that diagnosis ~ your sister is trying to disempower, to delegitimize, you.</p><p></p><p>I don't know why. But I do know it is the same thing my sister is doing, and Copa's, too. We are looking at our situations with our sisters (and mothers) as though they were the normal ones and we somehow are not getting something important and so, have been excluded from that wonderful thing we have savored and dreamed about.</p><p></p><p>Family.</p><p></p><p>We never had sisters. We never had mothers.</p><p></p><p>We do not have them, now.</p><p></p><p>But we did most amazingly well with what we did have. That being the case, we will do amazingly, blazingly well once we allow ourselves to give up on this whole family thing. We never had it. We never will.</p><p></p><p>There is nothing to regret.</p><p></p><p>Cedar</p><p></p><p></p><p>It is what it is.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Scent of Cedar *, post: 662403, member: 17461"] I know you meant Insane Canadian. It made me laugh though, to read this. Have you seen it, Nerf?!? :O) Since reconnecting with FOO, Copa. Like me; overwhelmed in the toxic of it, laid low by shattering geologic plates and hissing magma. Spewing, exploding, lighting the night skies; thundery and huge slabs of lightning. Well alright. So now we know what that red stuff is. Ahem. The thing about insisting on a diagnosis like borderline: 1) It names your sister, that she does this. Her choices were condemnation or compassion. She picked and fastened on and rides "condemnation" real hard, SWOT. With spurs, she rides "condemantion". So you know who she is. I am sorry. It is a sad truth for each of us that our sisters...I don't know what to say. I know ladies who love and are loved by their sisters. It seems a magical thing to me, that this could be so. We have nothing to grieve; we never had those things we grieve. We do not have sisters now anymore than we ever had sisters. We each had only one sister; we cannot know what life might have been either without that sister at all, or with a sister who was normal. It just is what it is. It's fine. 2) In insisting that you [I]have [/I]a diagnosis ~ especially right smack in the face of professional assessments indicating you absolutely do not fit that diagnosis ~ your sister is trying to disempower, to delegitimize, you. I don't know why. But I do know it is the same thing my sister is doing, and Copa's, too. We are looking at our situations with our sisters (and mothers) as though they were the normal ones and we somehow are not getting something important and so, have been excluded from that wonderful thing we have savored and dreamed about. Family. We never had sisters. We never had mothers. We do not have them, now. But we did most amazingly well with what we did have. That being the case, we will do amazingly, blazingly well once we allow ourselves to give up on this whole family thing. We never had it. We never will. There is nothing to regret. Cedar It is what it is. [/QUOTE]
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Hey, Cedar, or anyone interested in FOO (Family of Origin) issues. Cedar, WHY NOW???
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