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Family of Origin
Hey, Cedar, or anyone interested in FOO (Family of Origin) issues. Cedar, WHY NOW???
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<blockquote data-quote="Copabanana" data-source="post: 662411" data-attributes="member: 18958"><p>SeekingStrength I am going to tell you what I would do if I were strong, not what I would probably do.</p><p></p><p>If I were strong I would go to the party at the restaurant. I would let everybody have their feelings, and I would stroll in like Princess Grace (nobody anymore even knows who she is but I do.)</p><p></p><p>If there are nefarious things going on, it is their shame to carry. Not yours.</p><p></p><p>My son used to talk bad about me, and he probably still does. I have said on this forum before that the extent to which it caused me one bit of pain, anger or shame was a mistake. He let himself down, not me.</p><p>If anybody wants to help out D C it is their right. If they want to do it to undermine you, fine and dandy.</p><p>What can you do about it? It's between them and Difficult Child. Stay out of it. You know where you stand and you love your child. What anybody thinks is their business.</p><p></p><p>So, counting up family members, you will go into the restaurant with at least 50 percent supporting you. Your Dad, a stalwart. Your sister in law an ally. Your brother, probably OK. You really do not know what is going on with him. It could have nothing to do with you.</p><p></p><p>Gone silent, only your Mom. Going silent is something that I do. Somebody does something that hurts me and I do not confront it directly. I protect myself by distance and at the same time give the offender the deep freeze. My Mother almost usually but not always called me, and turned the other cheek. I was always grateful when she did so, when she took the higher road when I could not.</p><p></p><p>With all of that said, you are dealing here with YOUR feelings. And if you feel too vulnerable to go and have a good time, don't. You have nothing you need to prove to anybody.</p><p></p><p>The thing is I typically do go by my feelings, and chicken out, and feel bad about myself. Everything I have read of you in your postings is that you are focused, purposeful and seeking strength, after all.</p><p></p><p>You decide, SeekingStrength. A case can be made either way.</p><p></p><p>Welcome to the FOO thread, Seeking.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Copabanana, post: 662411, member: 18958"] SeekingStrength I am going to tell you what I would do if I were strong, not what I would probably do. If I were strong I would go to the party at the restaurant. I would let everybody have their feelings, and I would stroll in like Princess Grace (nobody anymore even knows who she is but I do.) If there are nefarious things going on, it is their shame to carry. Not yours. My son used to talk bad about me, and he probably still does. I have said on this forum before that the extent to which it caused me one bit of pain, anger or shame was a mistake. He let himself down, not me. If anybody wants to help out D C it is their right. If they want to do it to undermine you, fine and dandy. What can you do about it? It's between them and Difficult Child. Stay out of it. You know where you stand and you love your child. What anybody thinks is their business. So, counting up family members, you will go into the restaurant with at least 50 percent supporting you. Your Dad, a stalwart. Your sister in law an ally. Your brother, probably OK. You really do not know what is going on with him. It could have nothing to do with you. Gone silent, only your Mom. Going silent is something that I do. Somebody does something that hurts me and I do not confront it directly. I protect myself by distance and at the same time give the offender the deep freeze. My Mother almost usually but not always called me, and turned the other cheek. I was always grateful when she did so, when she took the higher road when I could not. With all of that said, you are dealing here with YOUR feelings. And if you feel too vulnerable to go and have a good time, don't. You have nothing you need to prove to anybody. The thing is I typically do go by my feelings, and chicken out, and feel bad about myself. Everything I have read of you in your postings is that you are focused, purposeful and seeking strength, after all. You decide, SeekingStrength. A case can be made either way. Welcome to the FOO thread, Seeking. [/QUOTE]
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Family of Origin
Hey, Cedar, or anyone interested in FOO (Family of Origin) issues. Cedar, WHY NOW???
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