Hey everyone...Im home!

Discussion in 'The Watercooler' started by DammitJanet, Dec 8, 2010.

  1. DammitJanet

    DammitJanet Well-Known Member Staff Member

    First of all, I want to thank each and everyone of you for the very kind words, prayers and wishes on the other thread. They meant a great deal to me and my family.

    The funeral and visitation was beautiful. My Dad was Catholic so his funeral was held at a Catholic church. My boys had never been in one so they were a bit in awe but did wonderfully. All of my father's brothers except the youngest who is in an institution where able to come down as was one of my cousins. It was very good to see them. The 6 oldest grandsons were pallbearers. My three and my step-mom's three.

    I saw so many people I havent seen in years...and yes one person did have to mention how I was a "wild child" as a teen...lol. Ya just cant live some things down.

    Cory got to meet the Uncle he was named after and both of them were very pleased to meet each other. Now my Uncles all want my boys to come up and see them...lol.

    Everyone kept looking at one of the pictures of my Dad as a young Marine and being very shocked at how much he looked like Cory...and really...now that you look at them side by side...they do look alike at that age! Who would have thunk it! Maybe there is hope for him yet.

    I had to do one of the eulogies and boy was that hard. I am going to type it out and post it here but not today. Im too beat tonight. Everyone said I did an amazing job and Dad would have been very proud of me. I hope so. I think so. I tried hard.

    Overall, I think things went as well as could be expected. Cory was a bit...okay alot...out of control because of grief. His bipolar really broke through and being unmedicated he became belligerent and angry towards us while up at Jamie's. I think he just didnt know how to handle his emotions so they came out as anger. Once he finally exploded and cried, he got better.

    I havent sat down and cried yet. As my step-mom said...we shall do that tomorrow...or tomorrow. I think when it gets quiet and I finally start thinking...or the holidays come...or those days when I normally hear from him...or I want to call and tell him something...then its gonna really hit me hard. I already cant look at birthday cards, knowing I wont get another one...or mothers day cards.

    I have finally decided how I am going to tell Keyana since we didnt take her with us. I am going to tell her that Grandfather died and went to heaven but he will always be watching down on her, loving her and if she ever wants to talk to him she can look up in the sky and see the brightest star and that will be him. Also when snow falls, that is him sending her little kisses.
  2. Hound dog

    Hound dog Nana's are Beautiful

    ((((hugs)))) Janet and welcome home! You've been missed quite a bit, so I'm glad to have you back safe and sound.

    I think how you intend to explain it to Keyana is absolutely beautiful. Put so you're telling her the truth while reminding her he will be with her forever.

    Sorry Cory took it so hard. Glad he got to cry.....getting to put some of the emotions out there helps. You will cry when you're ready. For these last days you've just been trying to get through it.
  3. Shari

    Shari IsItFridayYet?

    Glad you're home. I've been thinking of you.
  4. KTMom91

    KTMom91 Well-Known Member

    Been thinking about you...glad you got home safely.
  5. katya02

    katya02 Solace

    Glad you're home safely, Janet. I was thinking about you and your family yesterday and today. I'm sorry it was so hard on Cory - so often grief or sadness does come out as anger.
    Take some 'down' time now and be kind to yourself. There will be hard days, but also good days. Your plan for telling Keyana is beautiful, and I hope you take comfort in it too. Those
    snowflake kisses are for you, too. {{{hugs}}}
  6. Star*

    Star* call 911........call 911

    You have an awesome love for people like I've never known in a woman. I picked a good second Mom for my difficult child. Ijust knew it - even years ago - I knew it.

    Love you!
  7. klmno

    klmno Active Member

    I'm glad you're home safe too and that it went as well as or better than one could hope for, given the sad situation. I love your planned explanation to Keyana! Remember we are all here as you go thru your stages of grief.....
  8. Nancy

    Nancy Well-Known Member Staff Member

    I'm glad you're home Janet. I was pleased to hear that the church allowed you to do the eulogy. Most of the churches up here don't allow family members to do that. It's something that's always bothered me about the catholic church. It's so impersonal to have some priest who doesn't even know the person say something meaningful about that person's life. They focus more on the mass than on the person who died. But I'm sure you honored your dad well and I hope to read it when you get a chance.

    I found when my mom died that the entire first year was difficult. Every first was difficult, the first birthday, the first christmas, the first mother's day, etc. I couldn;t go into a church without crying for months and everytime I sang the hymns I would cry. Give yourself time to grieve.

  9. DDD

    DDD Well-Known Member

    I'm so pleased that you are pleased with how the farewell was handled. My Dad and I were very close and I didn't shed a tear for weeks and weeks. When I did finally cry it was cleansing for my heart. Same was true when my Mom passed away
    but in that case it was many months later...one of the kids did something funny and I picked up the phone to share with her.
    When the phone company recording came on saying the number was no longer working, then and only then did I recognize my grief and loss. It will happen when you heart is ready. Meanwhile I continue to keep you in my thoughts and prayers.DDD
  10. witzend

    witzend Well-Known Member

    I'm glad you are all well and safe and home.
  11. PatriotsGirl

    PatriotsGirl Guest

    I am glad you are home and safe, too. I love your explanation to Keyana - that is beautiful!!!
  12. HaoZi

    HaoZi Guest

    Glad you're safe back home and some good re-connecting came out of it, too. Even all these years later I still get blindsided now and then when I wish I could ask my mom something or share something with her, even if most of our relationship that I remember wasn't that great and I've always been a daddy's girl.
  13. Jena

    Jena New Member

    your very popular here!!! :)

    glad your home, glad you were able to do the eulogy. and you were def. missed.

  14. Mattsmom277

    Mattsmom277 Active Member

    Glad to have you back and what a beautiful send off it sounds like you all shared for your father. I too think your explanation for your Keyana is beautiful and fitting.
  15. Lothlorien

    Lothlorien Active Member Staff Member

    I was just looking to see if you had posted. I've been thinking about you over the past few days.
  16. ThreeShadows

    ThreeShadows Quid me anxia?

    Janet, you are the sanest crazy person I know. I love you.

    I never got a chance to say goodbye to my marine daddy. I thought about you all day yesterday. You are a very classy lady. Bless your loving heart for being you, a very special human being.
  17. SearchingForRainbows

    SearchingForRainbows Active Member


    So glad you're back. What a beautiful way to explain things to Keyana!!! SFR
  18. AnnieO

    AnnieO Shooting from the Hip

    Janet - I am glad you're doing okay... Grief is weird, though, so don't be surprised if it smacks you upside the head one day, even though you were fine the day before.

    Your explanation for Keyana is absolutely perfect. True, too, in my opinion.

    FWIW - I had a dream the other night (think it was Tuesday) about my Grandpa... I was sitting in his living room and asking him to keep a lookout for your Dad. I know I had said something like that before, so I think my subconscious was reminding me. But it made me feel good... So I thought I'd share.

    And eulogies are hard, you're right... But no matter what you said, you were awesome... And your Daddy loved every word.
  19. busywend

    busywend Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Welcome Home, Janet!

    The firsts are the hardest, we will be here for you!
  20. gcvmom

    gcvmom Here we go again!

    Glad it all went so beautifully :) Know that you are not alone and many of us understand and appreciate what you are trying to cope with, especially this time of year. Go easy on yourself and don't be afraid of your grief. Your heart will heal in time with just happy memories that linger.