Hey Everyone

Discussion in 'The Watercooler' started by babyblue31, Jan 16, 2010.

  1. babyblue31

    babyblue31 New Member

    I finally did it I moved back to ohio, and got back with my husband, and i'm the happiest I have ever been.:D Things are going great and my difficult child loves him to death. My difficult child got to meet his uncle for the first time in all most 6 years this week. It was a hecked 1 let me tell you I had 11 people in my 3 bedroom house but it made it feel like home.

    I have a question that I need answered. ME and my husband have been married for 14yrs during which we were sepreated for sometime and I had a child with someone else. My son's father has sence died and me and my husband have gotten back together. What I need to know is what I need to do so my husband would beable to adopted my son, But we don't want my son's name to change. Can anyone help me....

    Thank You!!

    Mrs. C. L. L.

    Lasted edited by : Jan 16, 2010
  2. Mattsmom277

    Mattsmom277 Active Member

    I would think that it would be as straight forward as any normal adoption. Perhaps more simplified due to the fact that difficult child's father is deceased.

    It should seem straightforward to a judge that your husband adopt your difficult child. It makes sense for him to legally be his father for medical reasons etc. And it seems logical that your son may want to hold on to his biofathers name. This isn't a case where the bio dad is gone by choice. Holding onto his fathers name shows he won't forget his roots, while having your husband adopt him helps him feel part of the family as it is at this stage, and ensures legal protection for difficult child in terms of your husband etc.

    Congrats on your reunification. You sound incredibly happy. I wish your new (again) family all of the best.
  3. Andy

    Andy Active Member

    Good to hear from you Babyblue. I think about you and your sweet little boy whenever I visit here and wonder how you are doing. Sounds like you are happy.

    I agree with Mattsmom's advise.

    How is your son doing?
  4. Shari

    Shari IsItFridayYet?

    I don't know your laws there, but here, a child born of the mother while married to the man is considered "of the marriage" unless something is done to substantiate that it is not.

    difficult child 1's bio mom had a daughter while DEX was deployed and they were married. They took legal steps during the divorce to seperate the daughter from DEX, but had they not, she would have been considered "of the marriage". The birth certificate means very little here when you are married.
  5. witzend

    witzend Well-Known Member

    Ohio law says you have to use an attorney or an adoption agency to adopt, so that is the best place to start.


    3107.011 Arranging adoptions.

    (A) A person seeking to adopt a minor shall utilize an agency or attorney to arrange the adoption. Only an agency or attorney may arrange an adoption. An attorney may not represent with regard to the adoption both the person seeking to adopt and the parent placing a child for adoption.

    Any person may informally aid or promote an adoption by making a person seeking to adopt a minor aware of a minor who will be or is available for adoption.

    (B) A person seeking to adopt a minor who knowingly makes a false statement that is included in an application submitted to an agency or attorney to obtain services of that agency or attorney in arranging an adoption is guilty of the offense of falsification under section 2921.13 of the Revised Code.

  6. babyblue31

    babyblue31 New Member

    Thank all of you for the help!!!!!!!!!!

    And my difficult child is doing great, he loves his new school and all of his cusins. I am in a better place myself.
  7. Lothlorien

    Lothlorien Active Member Staff Member

    That's really great that you and your husband were able to work it out and the bonus that the little one has a man that wants to be his dad is just sublime! I'm thrilled for you!
  8. DammitJanet

    DammitJanet Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Unless something has changed, I would think that your son would have had to had your husband listed on the BC as legal father because you were married at the time he was born. He might not have been the bio father but he was the legal father. Last name has nothing to do with it.

    For example: I was legally married to my ex from 1980 until 1986. I had my second son in 1984. His bio father was NOT my ex. I could not legally put his bio father on that BC as father. My ex had to be listed as father because I was still legally married even though I hadnt seen or heard from my ex in over two years.

    In fact, to this day, my middle son still has my ex's name on his BC because we never went through all the rigmarole to change everything. He doesnt have my ex's last name though. He has his bio fathers last name.
  9. witzend

    witzend Well-Known Member

    It would be easily checked on his birth certificate. If her husband is not listed as the father, then he must adopt. By law he'll have to have a lawyer or a registered adoption agent act on his behalf. Most domestic relations laws have changed since the 1980s, and the one about the husband being the legal father may not be on the books any longer, and may never have been on the books in the state her son was born in. When L was born in 1983, you could name whomever you wanted in my state. A named father would have to disprove the claim with a paternity test. It's still the same.

    She'd do best to check the birth certificate and hire a lawyer if her husband is not named as the father on it.
  10. babyblue31

    babyblue31 New Member

    My husband is still on his birth cert. but through the eyes of the courts his bio is his legal father cuz it was proven at the time when child surport was done I just never had the money to change the birth cert. But I got the court papers that state who his legal father is.
  11. witzend

    witzend Well-Known Member

    Sounds as though you need a lawyer if you want to tie up the loose ends.
  12. DammitJanet

    DammitJanet Well-Known Member Staff Member

    If you have court papers stating who his legal father is and his legal father is dead, you may not want to change that. He is entitled to Social Security under his legal father if his legal father worked long enough to have credits in. You really should check into that before you stir the water. Even if you dont want to use that money now, he would be eligible to have that money go into a savings account for college and that money would continue until he finishes school.
  13. babyblue31

    babyblue31 New Member

    legal father didnt work enough for him to get any money!!! any that bites!! Already looked into that..