It has been a very bitter-sweet 2 days. It appears that difficult child will be locked in a secure environment for quite some time. The judge wasted no time ordering the commitment- oddly enough, the psychiatrist did change and request it on grounds of suicide risk, not risk to me or others. psychiatrist, at least right now, recommends an Residential Treatment Center (RTC) instead of state detention but says he has no control over what judge will actually sentence. He says he can request a psychiatric Residential Treatment Center (RTC) but problem is that many of them are not lock-down/secure and he's going to have someone look into various facilites around where they might offer psychiatrist care plus be secure enough for judge to consider it in lieu of state detention. He said he is concerned because he does not think difficult child would make it long in state juvy. We discussed various services (primarily in-home) and my concerns that being wrapped up in Department of Juvenile Justice means services are limited to what Department of Juvenile Justice normally funds. psychiatrist said he thought he could do something about that. I asked them (they a have a whole team on difficult child LOL) if they thought difficult child really wanted to kill me and they all said no, that he loves me very much. Of course, I know that this doesn't mean he still can't be dangerous- I just wanted to know if they thought he's walking around with thoughts like that. psychiatrist said difficult child definitely had a mood disorder, but he's not convinced just yet that it is BiPolar (BP). They had not had time yet to look thru copies of previous evaluations and other info I took to them. Plus, he said he didn't notice any pressured speech and other signs in difficult child. Well, maybe he didn't, but I did. Not that I could swear difficult child is BiPolar (BP), but I tried to explain that when the psychologist said difficult child came in right away going up to other kids trying to make friends and impress them that this is not his normal character. When I visit with him, he talks incessantly about superficial things or the other kids' issues. The psychiatric said she did notice that his thoughts are not always linear or coherent. Yep- but see, difficult child is not this way when he is stable. I'm not sure if he's delusional, in denial, or just so anxiety ridden and overwhelmed that he can't deal with the real world. Or if the tegretol dose is too much. They haven't made any medication changes yet though. psychiatrist said difficult child isn't accepting full responsibility for all he's done yet because although he admits it, he says difficult child minimizes it or acts like it wasn't as serious as others are making it out to be. He might be correct, but I'm seeing this a little differently and have to keep in mind that they haven't even known difficult child a week yet and haven't spoken to other profs that difficult child has worked with yet so they are just learning about him. To me, difficult child was talking like he could be home soon except for the fact that I was so stressed out over things. He didn't say it angrily- more like he's just not living in the real world. I know he knows better- he's pretty straightforward and understands how much trouble people can get into for doing things when he's stable. I also remember over-hearing some things he said on the phone to others 1-2 weeks before all this happened- it was like he was a completely different person and was saying stuff like he thought they would be impressed by it but even difficult child had to have known that these things would make other kids want away from him. The thing is, when he's stable, he knows better and talks about how stupid things like that are and he makes effort not to be that way. Anyway, they say he's there as an acute patient, but they are really giving him an MDE, of sorts- although I don't think they will be doing additional neuropsychologist testing. Still, it's probably the most intensive and comprehensive evaluation difficult child has had to date. So, I'm happy for that. I hope they have opportunity to see other "moods" and sides to difficult child so they can see a little more different characteristics and how they change. They are recommending that difficult child come back for his trial in a couple of weeks, however, that doesn't necessarily mean that they are recommending he stay here or go straight to whatever he is sentenced to. And, it doesn't mean the judge won't postpone the trial anyway. If the judge doesn't potpone it but he is still considered a risk, he would go back to where he is after the trial until he is no longer considered a risk, then go to whatever he is sentenced to. One tidbit that the psychiatrist insinuated but did not directly state- you know how we all get upset over typical acute psychiatric hospital's keeping the kid about 5 days then releasing them? It isn't just because of insurance- it's because they usually don't have a school and then it gets complicated trying to work out placement and homebound stuff. I had never thought about that. My son seems so out of reality. He just talks about another kid there who is schizophrenic (sp) and they can't get his hallucinations under control, and another who's severely autistic. It is sad. And difficult child just says "wow mom, you wouldn't beleive it- they have a whole team of 4 or 5 profs on me" like this is really something to be proud of. And he likes it and wants to stay. One of the staff say many kids don't want to leave because it is a safe place and the kids are scared to death of messing up if they leave. The whole thing just breaks my heart. I feel like I have lost my son, not only driving home without him, but mentally and emotionally, I just don't know where he is. He won't even talk about any real world issues. I honestly think he's either delusional or so anxiety ridden and overwhelmed that he can't deal with reality. But, so far, psychiatrist thinks he's just not taking responsibility. Of course, if I call up there Mon and tell them what I think, they will take it like I'm trying to make excuses for difficult child. Sorry this turned into a book. LOL! Thanks to who ever made it this far!!