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"Hey, mom, do I have autism?"
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<blockquote data-quote="Marguerite" data-source="post: 184249" data-attributes="member: 1991"><p>That's really great. It shows - it really pays to raise them to not feel handicapped because of their diagnosis. There is no need to view autism (or many other diagnosis's) as handicaps. It's simply a different way of functioning. It has problems but it also has benefits. </p><p></p><p>It's like - our former Olympic swimmer, Ian Thorpe (now retired form competition) is built for competition. Yes, he's had training (intense training) but the talent he has plus the way his body is made (long arms, strong skeleton, lanky frame, large feet that act like built-in flippers) gives him a natural advantage as an Olympic medallist. </p><p>But not all the training in the world could turn him into an Olympic gymnast. He is too big, the wrong shape and would make a real mess of it.</p><p></p><p>Is he handicapped? No. Is he fitted to be a gymnast? No way. Is he capable of a wide range of other things? Undoubtedly, many of which haven't even been explored because of all the years he was so totally engrossed in swimming.</p><p></p><p>In the same way, our high-functioning autistics are capable of many things we can barely comprehend, because we haven't had the chance to explore all options. Their special mind-quirks do trend them in certain directions and give them some almost freakish natural talent and interest. And there are other areas of expertise where they are definitely NOT suited - I really can't see difficult child 1 selling encyclopedias door to door, for example. Or going into politics. Or working in advertising. But in areas where he is skilled, his particular bents make him ideally suited. His obsessiveness means that he is meticulous about ensuring a high level of quality control in the area his boss has given him.</p><p></p><p>I'm short and dumpy. I would make an appalling basketball player. I am short-sighted and wear glasses. But a freakish aspect to my really bad vision - when I take my glasses off, it's like I have built-in magnification. If anyone gets a splinter in their finger, I'm the one who is best equipped to get it out.</p><p></p><p>We each have our uses and our abilities. It's good to value these things about ourselves and not stress too much about the things we are less equipped to do.</p><p></p><p>difficult child 1 began to be interested in autism in general from about 16. He looked around him and began to identify people around him that he knew, who he felt were similar to him. He realised he had a natural affinity for other high-functioning autistics and as these were people he really liked, he worked out that he also was likeable in turn. I suspect somewhere in there he values himself BECAUSE of his autism; he certainly values it in others. There has been no sense of shame in either boy (difficult child 1 or difficult child 3) for being autistic.</p><p></p><p>Both boys were called nasty derogatory names by local bullies. I remember difficult child 1 and easy child 2/difficult child 2 getting home really steamed because a bully on the school bus had said to them, "You've got a retard brother."</p><p>And difficult child 3 was called "retard" coupled with another REALLY bad word.</p><p>But when I explained to difficult child 3 what "retard" means, I also explained how that word just doesn't apply to difficult child 3. Plus it's a term which just isn't used any more. difficult child 3 was so confident in his own intelligence, that he thought it was funny that other kids were accusing him of being not smart. HE knew the marks he was getting in school!</p><p></p><p>We do have fights on our hands with our kids, when they have to deal with the trash thrown at them verbally by bullies. If they start to believe the rubbish it can make it difficult to keep their self-esteem where it needs to be.</p><p>MidwestMom, you've obviously done a really good job in making sure none of that muck stuck to him.</p><p></p><p>Good for you.</p><p></p><p>marg</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Marguerite, post: 184249, member: 1991"] That's really great. It shows - it really pays to raise them to not feel handicapped because of their diagnosis. There is no need to view autism (or many other diagnosis's) as handicaps. It's simply a different way of functioning. It has problems but it also has benefits. It's like - our former Olympic swimmer, Ian Thorpe (now retired form competition) is built for competition. Yes, he's had training (intense training) but the talent he has plus the way his body is made (long arms, strong skeleton, lanky frame, large feet that act like built-in flippers) gives him a natural advantage as an Olympic medallist. But not all the training in the world could turn him into an Olympic gymnast. He is too big, the wrong shape and would make a real mess of it. Is he handicapped? No. Is he fitted to be a gymnast? No way. Is he capable of a wide range of other things? Undoubtedly, many of which haven't even been explored because of all the years he was so totally engrossed in swimming. In the same way, our high-functioning autistics are capable of many things we can barely comprehend, because we haven't had the chance to explore all options. Their special mind-quirks do trend them in certain directions and give them some almost freakish natural talent and interest. And there are other areas of expertise where they are definitely NOT suited - I really can't see difficult child 1 selling encyclopedias door to door, for example. Or going into politics. Or working in advertising. But in areas where he is skilled, his particular bents make him ideally suited. His obsessiveness means that he is meticulous about ensuring a high level of quality control in the area his boss has given him. I'm short and dumpy. I would make an appalling basketball player. I am short-sighted and wear glasses. But a freakish aspect to my really bad vision - when I take my glasses off, it's like I have built-in magnification. If anyone gets a splinter in their finger, I'm the one who is best equipped to get it out. We each have our uses and our abilities. It's good to value these things about ourselves and not stress too much about the things we are less equipped to do. difficult child 1 began to be interested in autism in general from about 16. He looked around him and began to identify people around him that he knew, who he felt were similar to him. He realised he had a natural affinity for other high-functioning autistics and as these were people he really liked, he worked out that he also was likeable in turn. I suspect somewhere in there he values himself BECAUSE of his autism; he certainly values it in others. There has been no sense of shame in either boy (difficult child 1 or difficult child 3) for being autistic. Both boys were called nasty derogatory names by local bullies. I remember difficult child 1 and easy child 2/difficult child 2 getting home really steamed because a bully on the school bus had said to them, "You've got a retard brother." And difficult child 3 was called "retard" coupled with another REALLY bad word. But when I explained to difficult child 3 what "retard" means, I also explained how that word just doesn't apply to difficult child 3. Plus it's a term which just isn't used any more. difficult child 3 was so confident in his own intelligence, that he thought it was funny that other kids were accusing him of being not smart. HE knew the marks he was getting in school! We do have fights on our hands with our kids, when they have to deal with the trash thrown at them verbally by bullies. If they start to believe the rubbish it can make it difficult to keep their self-esteem where it needs to be. MidwestMom, you've obviously done a really good job in making sure none of that muck stuck to him. Good for you. marg [/QUOTE]
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