hey

[Jena]

just wanted to say thanks to all of you for helping me through the past several weeks here in my lonely ronald mcdonald room lol. go team go im in the "soccer" room did i mention that?? their all themed rooms

anyhow im just sorry i didn't keep up with everyone else, i fell behind and have no idea how any of you are. just went thru some posts now and caught up a bit.

just not cool to do that is all and yup i did it i pulled a me, me, me and me again!!! i just got so wrapped up in it and i guess the distance from home's been hard on me.

you guys are the best....

 

[HaoZi]

I think we know sometimes you gotta focus on you! How is she doing today?

 

[Jena]

hey

she's still sleeping havent' started day yet. i was up at 3 and 5 again. i'm averaging like 3 hours a night of sleep. there's a baby in next rm that cries all night and ppl above me are up all night lol. ill decide by tonight what im doing. trying to listen to my mom gut. yet it's clouded a bit right now

 

[pepperidge]

Jena, don't worry about not responding. Sometimes our own drama takes precedence over everything else lol.

Got to be tough figuring out what is the best course of action. I guess one question I would be asking is looking at the one of the worst case scenarios. What would happen if she stops eating in NY? What would you do? How long can she go without further damaging her body? If she gained a few more pounds now would she be in better health to resist damage again to heart or whatever?

So hard. Hope you guys have a manage to enjoy the decent weather.

 

[Star*]

......Ive been out of the loop......is Ronald McDonald room code for "some clowns room" ?????? - (just kidding......) I kinda pieced it together......but knowing the history? And knowing you? I wish you the best hon -

Hang in there....

 

[DDD]

There is no need to thank the family and no reason to apologize for not sharing other people's burdens when you are in crisis yourself. Everyone is praying and rooting for you and yours. I would bet a million dollars that NOBODY has even had a fleeting thought about your limited responses.....everyone is checking in daily hoping for good news from you. Hugs. DDD

 

[Jena]

hey

i'm hating life right now lol. bigtime. we had a hard day today. i even took her out to eat breakfast than to a zoo. doctor ok'd doing a little walking. brought her back to rest now. yet each meal i had to convince her to finish and it took like an hr. plus she didn't complete.

this is my difficult child. i honestly believe another week here isn't going to make a difference. she is the most complicated person i've ever met in my life. truly. in new york if she shuts down i'd immediately have a feeding tube put in at a local hospital. i wouldtn' wait it out again at all. from there i have no clue. she is promising me that won't happen. i said i see your hesitation with food. you are eating yet you are hesitating now. last week you didnt. i said to her that scares me because if you do not eat you will get very sick again and i can't allow that to happen. so i told her the truth i'll tube you in new york hands down wouldnt' even be a questoin. first day i see food not being eaten. she damaged her body too much the first time.

such pressure i'm feeling today over this. it sux. if i knew she'd do better after a week here again i'd stay. yet now that i wanna go nasty mean horrifying kid defiance is rearing it's ugly head and she's going for my jugular she'll be far too angry and defiant to gain any good from continuing treatment here i think. she's that difficult.

how i wished this would just work the way they said it would.

 

[Jena]

plus she had a huge meltdown over the potential of staying. she threatened all sorts of things. thing is she'll be so difficult she wont comply with the program if i stay. id' have to stay another 3 weeks till she calmed down for it to have an effect. shes' very thick headed and nasty when she wants to be. i actually told her go find something to do because she's so horrifying right now. i just need a breather.

 

[DammitJanet]

Well Jena...if she is that defiant that it will take her 3 more weeks to calm down after a tantrum, dont you think that maybe it is worth your while to stick her out and prove you are in it for the long haul rather than cave to her demands?

Maybe I have just been at it too long and have seen the mistakes I made by letting myself be swayed by either promises of good behavior or threats and me caving in to them. Neither of those things ever worked out well.

 

[Jena]

hey janet i see your point i do. yet there are other factors also that are bizarre. and ofcourse you can find my updated drama on my newest thread.... something about me not being able to stand my kid anymore

 

[Marguerite]

just not cool to do that is all and yup i did it i pulled a me, me, me and me again!!! i just got so wrapped up in it and i guess the distance from home's been hard on me.

Don't sweat it. When you're dealing with a crisis, even a crisis that is ongoing and threatening to become chronic, it's natural and accepted that you will be focussing on your own situation.

Stop beating yourself up about it. You have enough stress in your life without adding to your own.

Remember what I keep saying about guilt? It only slows you down and gets in your way. Similarly, don't compare your situation to mine. You might cope better with my life or not - we just don'r know. It doesn't matter, we each do what we need to do in order to cope. That's all.

You went out there expecting to be there for two months. Then you had the carrot of early release and now that appears to be getting pulled away. So - back to the original time-frame, perhaps?

Hang in there whatever happens.

Marg

 

[Jena]

i gotta laugh! i wrote this saying sorry that im so wrapped up in me than this whole thread became about me again. hmm there's a word for that??