Hi Everyone

Discussion in 'Substance Abuse' started by TYLERFAN, Dec 20, 2007.


    TYLERFAN New Member

    Hello Family: :smile:

    I have missed you all! Thank you for coming to look for me....thanks DDD for the e-mail :flower:
    Where to begin...? I am not sure where I left off. :rolleyes:

    My Dad has been in and out of the hospital for several months and for several different reasons. We thought that he would be fine but the long hospital stay was debilitating as he is 84 years old. Then his blood level decreases and was back in for a transfusion...they can't explain any of his symptoms.
    Yesterday a good friend of mine, also a NP told me that all they symptoms of my father were most likely due to his leaky atrial valve...it is what they classify a 4, which is the worst..... :nonono: He is very weak, out of breathe, has trouble moving, etc. The reality is that if they can not operate, things will not get better. If they can operate, we are not sure he could sustain the surgery in his present state. Please pray for my Dad. :crying:

    difficult child is staying in a sober house and claims to be several months sober. I don't know as they tell me nothing, not even the courts advise me. She see's Baby J, who, by the way, is a full fledged toddler BOY! :dance: She sees him once a week for a few hours, we are working on her getting back her overnight visits here. Her behavior at my wedding was phenomenal but she is still my difficult child. She has confirmed for me what I already knew, she loves her son, but she really is too immature and selfish to ever really give him the care he needs. At least not any time soon. She signed herself into a new day treatment program and seems to like it better, she goes 6 mornings a week. She is maintaining the status quo I guess you could say.

    As for little old me, I was fired from my job in October, 1 day short of getting Medical. I had to take 4 days off in 2 weeks time because of my Dad and Baby J had an ear infection. :doctor:
    I haven't found anything since in the way of work. However I am working very hard at being a mom again....IT AIN'T EASY! :smile: :smile: :warrior:
    I am worn out by mid-morning and my stamina is not quite up to this task. If anyone remembers, I was in some state of mind 2 years ago, so depressed and filled with fear and doubt. Well, my present husband is used to living normally and it has taken me awhile to try and reach his "pace". I am getting there slowly. Even though he says he knows "I've been thru Heck", he really doesn't know to the degree I had stopped living life.....stopped doing "normal things"....I do...and I am trying so hard to keep up. :smile: He has been wonderful. We stay with his parents in Florida a few times a year, they come here....his big family is wonderful :smile: I am now an Aunt.... :smile: (she's 4, but I never was an Aunt before....I am an only child)My hubby is a smart man who is street wise and worked his way up to owner. I respect and love him but he is a "do-aholic" :smile: I am sure alot of you guys can relate to getting back to normal things, or at least trying to be normal during a crisis.

    difficult child took a real toll on not only herself, but me as well....
    It is hard but I am soooooo grateful that this man came to me. God does work in mysterious ways. :thumbsup:

    As for Baby J, he is sooo tall like his mother :bravo: He is so smart :bravo: He has adjusted so well. He calls me Ma and he calls his Grandpa...Pa Pa. In his eyes, the sun rises and sets on Pa Pa :bow:

    As the saying goes..."I'll be back :its_all_good:

    Hugs, Blessings and joy for my friends here!!


  2. DDD

    DDD Well-Known Member

    :rofl: Hmmmmmm.....do I remember you saying that the energy part of parenting wouldn't be too big a problem?? :smile:

    I was 47 when easy child/difficult child joined out household. Whew! Even in good
    health....it was a challenge. on the other hand we have loved every minute
    of parenting him (well, not the addictions etc..lol). Come to think of it I was pretty darn winded when I had to be the asst.
    soccer team coach when he was 4 and I was 51 and still a smoker!

    So sorry to read about your Dad. I really am delighted to read
    that you husband is such a kind, caring and normal guy. You got
    a winner! Welcome back. DDD
  3. saving grace

    saving grace New Member

    Hi thank you and thanks for the update, I have missed hearing from you and was happy to see your post.
    I know the feeling of having a loving wonderful Normal man come into your life, I have one of my own. What a blessing.

    Happy Holidays, what are your plans with baby J??
    The magic of Christmas must be all over that baby boy.

  4. everywoman

    everywoman Active Member

    We've missed you Melissa. Sorry to hear about your dad. It's tough when you become a caretaker to a parent (add a toddler onto that list and wow---no wonder you're tired). Hope difficult child continues to grow. Glad to know that you found a keeper!
  5. KFld

    KFld New Member

    Great to hear from you. Gee, I can't imagine why you are short on energy raising a toddler???? I can't even imagine how you do it. I give you so much credit because I don't think I could do it.

    Sounds like your difficult child is maturing. I think it's great that she has admitted she is not ready to raise baby J the way he deserves to be raised. To bad they don't think of these things before they get pregnant, but I'm sure at this point you wouldn't trade baby J for the world.
  6. DammitJanet

    DammitJanet Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Hey Melissa.

    Sorry to hear about your dad. Mine is 82 and it would kill me to have something happen to him now. I will be praying.

    I can so relate to how exhausting these toddler kids are! We have Keyana for weeks at a time and when its time to pack her up Im limping around and ready to fall into bed someplace. Even when they are good as gold they are still toddlers...lol.

    Keep in touch and enjoy Xmas with that little boy.
  7. Ephchap

    Ephchap Active Member


    So great to hear from you. I'm so sorry your dad isn't doing well. Sending many good thoughts and prayers.

    As for being tired caring for a little one full-time, my hat is off to you. I'm looking forward to being a grandma, but I don't think I could watch a little one full-time anymore.

    I'm glad to hear difficult child seems to be finding her way. Baby steps.

    Hugs to you and yours,
  8. HereWeGoAgain

    HereWeGoAgain Grandpa

    Good to see you TyFan. I can relate to the toddler exhaustion factor too, though several of the board members have much greater challenges than my wife and I. I will be praying for your dad.