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<blockquote data-quote="Marguerite" data-source="post: 397884" data-attributes="member: 1991"><p>As far as a lot of us are concerned, ODD is a label thrown at kids who are a challenge to manage, for all sorts of different reasons. I do not believe in one distinct disease entity called ODD. I do believe you get it as a consequence of some other underlying disorder. Treat the underlying disorder and you begin to change the ODD stuff. A book we recommend here is "The Explosive Child" by Ross Greene. There is a lot written about the book on this site, so search for it and read up on the tips. Get a copy from the library. Because another facet of whatever the underlying disorder is - often the child feels they need to control the world in some way, because to them it seems too confusing and chaotic. And as parents, we tend to struggle to take control back. This sets up a pattern of development of oppositional behaviour - we as parents, in trying to assert control, model the opposition to our kids. They then dish it back. So like letting go of the rope in a tug of war, let go of your need to be the boss, and instead become your child's facilitator. That does not mean being a doormat, but it does mean letting go of some stuff for a while, and working towards management a few pieces at a time.</p><p></p><p>Suggestion for future posts you're composing - compose them in a text file somewhere, then copy and paste. Or, before you click "post", copy the post first so it's in your buffer.</p><p></p><p>It happens to us, too! My link drops out, and suddenly I find half an hour's typing is gone forever.</p><p></p><p>Marg</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Marguerite, post: 397884, member: 1991"] As far as a lot of us are concerned, ODD is a label thrown at kids who are a challenge to manage, for all sorts of different reasons. I do not believe in one distinct disease entity called ODD. I do believe you get it as a consequence of some other underlying disorder. Treat the underlying disorder and you begin to change the ODD stuff. A book we recommend here is "The Explosive Child" by Ross Greene. There is a lot written about the book on this site, so search for it and read up on the tips. Get a copy from the library. Because another facet of whatever the underlying disorder is - often the child feels they need to control the world in some way, because to them it seems too confusing and chaotic. And as parents, we tend to struggle to take control back. This sets up a pattern of development of oppositional behaviour - we as parents, in trying to assert control, model the opposition to our kids. They then dish it back. So like letting go of the rope in a tug of war, let go of your need to be the boss, and instead become your child's facilitator. That does not mean being a doormat, but it does mean letting go of some stuff for a while, and working towards management a few pieces at a time. Suggestion for future posts you're composing - compose them in a text file somewhere, then copy and paste. Or, before you click "post", copy the post first so it's in your buffer. It happens to us, too! My link drops out, and suddenly I find half an hour's typing is gone forever. Marg [/QUOTE]
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