Hi ho, hi ho, it's off to court we go...again.

Discussion in 'General Parenting' started by Robinboots, Apr 7, 2010.

  1. Robinboots

    Robinboots New Member

    I'm double-dipping - my morning Tweet says it all, lol!

    So, the judge has a few choices that I know of - of course, being a judge, he can do whatever he wants:

    Detention for a period of time - days, weeks, who knows?

    Commitment to DYS.

    Our state's so-called emancipation.

    Send difficult child home and tell him to "behave".

    First, he's been in detention, twice, did nothing for him. Third time's a charm? Doubt it. DYS is probably a good place for him to learn more bad behavior, but hey, he'd be secure and "safe" and maybe - ha - learn a lesson. Emancipation, well, he's pretty much been doing that for a few weeks, and a few more before the last court date(s), and seems to be managing. Might work, but I'll be likely getting an ex parte order, just in case. The good thing about this is that if he does try to break in here again, he'll be arrested.

    Although we did watch a TV special the other night called "Kids Who Kill". Nice. I knew I should have turned it off.

    The last option will absolutely send me off the charts. I already warned his DJO that *I* would likely be locked up for contempt if the judge orders this, because I will REALLY tell him like it is! She came back right away with "Oh no he WON'T! *I*will let him have it if he does this!" So, yeah, woohoo and all that....

    So, less than 2 hours. Well, the hearing is scheduled for 10, and so are a few others. We might get in first,but I doubt it. difficult child did text me last night and said "court at 9". I said, "no, 10" but didn't hear any more from him.
  2. klmno

    klmno Active Member

    Have fun. (said sarcastically) It looks like we'll have another round, too. I don't recall what your son's charges are but I'm wondwering why at his age, they aren't transferring him over to adult court. Judges have a lot of leeway, but there are a lot of laws here pertaining to juveniles that limit a lot and by the time you throw in funding limitations, sometimes there aren't as many options available as it first appears.
  3. Shari

    Shari IsItFridayYet?

    Thinking of you.
  4. DDD

    DDD Well-Known Member

    Sending supportive thoughts your way. DDD
  5. Robinboots

    Robinboots New Member

    He's 17, but has been under juvenile jurisdiction since last year. He won't be transferred to adult court unless he commits a crime beyond status offenses and breaking probation.

    That said, today the judge ended jurisdiction. This means difficult child is off probation. He told the judge he is going to take EMT classes, and pay for them by working and saving his money. He told him that he is going to live with his former foster parents.

    Whether any of that is true is a moot point.

    The judge had us (me, husband, DJO) come in first for a conference without difficult child. We talked about how he needs to be on his own and maybe someday he'll realize what's what. Or not. The judge gave him the usual lecture, including what he COULD do with him, and told difficult child that he hopes someday he'll see how good he had it and how much his parents did for him. The judge also told us he never believed that there was any abuse, that an order of protection would be a good thing, and that Grandma was starting the process to press charges for trespassing and vandalism. Not sure Mom will follow through, but okay.

    Upshot is that difficult child was given paperwork - his bank stuff, tax forms, etc., and the last $45 of his money that I had. I hugged him and told him I loved him and we left. He said he had a ride. He looked awful - shaggy hair, pants that were obviously borrowed - too short and too tight. Looked tired. I guess when you stay up all night texting, it has bad effects, huh?

    Told him I'd text him when I had his things packed up and he could arrange a time to come by.

    I will be sending a letter to the bank, denying any responsibility for whatever charges difficult child incurs, because he will. I will be filing for an order of protection.

    My lawyer and I are also discussing an emancipation petition, altho not sure it's necessary. Just 8 months and 3 days till difficult child turns 18, and the judge will, I think, be cooperative and understanding if any issues arise.

    So that's it. I'm pooped, and husband is working late after taking off 3-4 hours for this morning. Sigh.
  6. klmno

    klmno Active Member

    That sounds like the best thing, under the circumstances. You're lucky the judge let you in that conference before court- they don't let parents do that here- everyone else but not the juvenile or parents, even when it's only the juvenile who's been accused/on trial.

    I can see my son and I going thru something like this in a couple of years, if we make it that long.
  7. Robinboots

    Robinboots New Member

    I will say that we have a GREAT judge. And, since my attorney was unable to be there, that could be why we came in this time. On the other hand, again, the judge is really good and he wanted us all to chat and see if there were any solutions; and he wanted our thoughts on the whole deal.

    I'm just glad it's done, this part at least....
  8. Shari

    Shari IsItFridayYet?

    hugs. praying the next few months pass quickly and quietly
  9. DammitJanet

    DammitJanet Well-Known Member Staff Member

    I think you just got basically emancipated.
  10. Robinboots

    Robinboots New Member

    I think so too. But I'm not very trusting of the "system", lol! I've been putting off packing up his things...but today's the day. Not sure I'm ready for this, it seems so final.
  11. klmno

    klmno Active Member

    Oh gosh, don't waiver on this now. Remember, he'll always be your son and if he gets his act together and you two want to live in the house together in the future, that can happen whether he's over 18yo or not. He needs time to digest his own feelings of "what have I done" without you caving to him.
  12. susiestar

    susiestar Roll With It

    Wow. This is a day none of us ever dreamed could happen when we held them in our arms when they were babies. I am sorry that it has come to this. If I could change it for you I would. I know nothing I can say will make it easier for your hurting heart.

    All you can do now is pray that he finds his way, I guess.

    Sending LOTS of hugs in a nice basket so you can grab one anytime you need or want one.
  13. DDD

    DDD Well-Known Member

    Sending caring thoughts your way. DDD