Hi I'm new, 6 y/o son has severe ODD (? CD)

[Last ♡ Hope]

In what few free snatches of time I'm finding, I'm reading about wheat/dairy free diets and I have to ask - what on EARTH do people eat on those diets? I cannot imagine getting my children to eat some of these foods, my children who can tell the difference between brands of spaghetti sauce by taste alone. And as we have no life, because we cannot have a life, food is our one pleasure... :[

 

[AnnieO]

Well... Hmm. Honestly? My kids were all McDonald's, ramen noodles, peanut-butter-and-american-cheese-on-white-bread.

Then I showed up in their life.

I won't BUY white bread - wheat or whole grain only. I buy a lot of generic, but I'm genetically incapable of leaving well enough alone, so I add stuff. Or I just make my own - which is loads better than any store or name brand anything.

There are all kinds of things made with rice flour, potato flour, rye flour... That are yummy. I especially love rice crackers. Soy milk is out there too. I hear it tastes fine, but I can't stomach the price.

We fed Jett soy milk for a while - he was lactose intolerant. But we just can't afford it. So he is drinking MORE milk now, and for some reason it's not having as much of an effect. Weird.

There's lots of stuff. You just have to look... And sometimes it's hard to find.

 

[Ash]

I really understand what you are going through OP. My son just turned 7 and is ODD and CD. on Tenex 25mg and Risperdal .5mg.

Hugs to you!

 

[Malika]

I really empathise with your frustration about what the school is saying to you... Seems to show real lack of understanding for the best way to approach "difficult" behaviour. In my very limited knowledge of all this - I am so new to it - I have found what makes most sense to me is the kind of compassion shown in books like "The Explosive Child". Ross Greene describes these children as simply unable to express themselves in more socially acceptable, skilful and mature ways. So you have to try to teach them the skills - admittedly a very tough job. That has to be right... so getting cross and punishing the explosions just doesn't work and is actually, again in my limited experience, counter-productive.
Alas, I don't know what the answer to the frustration is. My son, aged just four, gets on basically fine in school but I am absolutely sure that this is because it is an untypical environment - a tiny establishment, with five others in his class... As his teacher says, in a "normal" class size he would be forever being scolded and they simply wouldn't have the time or willingness to give him all the individual attention they do... For what little it is worth, I do send you my warmest wishes and hopes that constructive solutions can be found for your son.

 

[Last ♡ Hope]

Well... Hmm. Honestly? My kids were all McDonald's, ramen noodles, peanut-butter-and-american-cheese-on-white-bread.

Then I showed up in their life.

I won't BUY white bread - wheat or whole grain only. I buy a lot of generic, but I'm genetically incapable of leaving well enough alone, so I add stuff. Or I just make my own - which is loads better than any store or name brand anything.

We only buy wheat bread and I try very hard to only buy organic foods, local when possible. But a few of my sister's daughters have celiac and my kids will not touch some of the things they have to eat over there. Birthday parties are real groaners over there, lol. ::sighs:: Wouldn't he have bloating, cramping, vomiting, diarrhea, etc. if diet were an issue? Or not so much?

I hate to sound like I'm dragging my feet on this, but this is one area where I anticipate more trouble than I feel like adding to my plate at the moment...

 

[Ash]

My son did wonderful in a private preschool. He was one of the better students. As soon as we put him in public school starting in Kindergarten is when the "behavioral issues" started. Sometimes I think the public school system is full of it!

 

[BusynMember]

in my opinion this behavior is far beyond anything that can be stopped by changing diet or even just medication, however a combo of everything is worth a try. You have nothing to lose. To me it sounds as if he either inherited a mental illness (however your other kids are FINE) or had some very mild brain damage at birth and it has not yet been detected...but it is making him unable to self-regulate. I still think it's worthwhile reading up on childhood mood dysregulation disorder, however since he is dangerous and since you have other children it IS possible that he may need to be treated outside of the home, if only to keep the other children safe.

 

[AnnieO]

Wouldn't he have bloating, cramping, vomiting, diarrhea, etc. if diet were an issue? Or not so much?

Not necessarily. For instance - one of my BFFs has a problem with Red 40. Makes her vomit. Her 3-y/o son? Makes him hyper. Like a vat of Mtn Dew would. We pretty much avoid it, before due to neutral-colored carpets, now due to that too.

And, FWIW - MidwestMom has a very good point.

 

[Last ♡ Hope]

. To me it sounds as if he either inherited a mental illness (however your other kids are FINE) or had some very mild brain damage at birth and it has not yet been detected...but it is making him unable to self-regulate.

Well, his father is not the older two's father, so that explains their normalcy. His father was classic CD though he was never diagnosis'd because his mother went right along with the whole 'if everyone would just stop upsetting him he'd be fine' mentality. @.@ There's no question in my mind that whatever he has is exactly what his bio-father had. I don't want to bury my head in the sand, I don't want him to be 43 years old manifesting all the same life problems his father had. I want better for him.

 

[TerryJ2]

That alternative school hoovers.

In regard to food, you can buy rice pasta and other gluten free items on Amazon. They ship right to your door!
The kids will complain for a week, but once you start making Betty Crocker gluten free choco chip cookies, things will calm down ...

 

[TerryJ2]

I don't want him to be 43 years old manifesting all the same life problems his father had. I want better for him.

BRAVO, Warrior Mom!

It's going to be tough, but you are head and shoulders above his father's mother at this point. She had no websites, no psychiatrists, no one to turn to. And who knows if she had her own issues? So at least you've got a brain and the will.
That doesn't mean instant success. But it does mean your son will have a better life. And he will know that he is loved. Love does NOT cure mental illness. But it helps soften the edges.

 

[Josie]

If your sister's children have celiac, it is more likely to be a problem for your child, too. It is inherited.

I have 4 generations of gluten intolerance in my family. My grandmother was the only one with severe digestive issues and the only one who was officially diagnosed with celiac disease. My mother, my 2 daughters, and I all feel better on the girlfriend diet. My mother's symptom was bloating that she didn't even realize she had, until she went gluten free in her 60's. She feels enough better though to stay on the diet. My older daughter and I were affected mentally by gluten and my younger daughter had a constant stomach ache.

Even my 15 year old daughter, who sometimes eats gluten or milk anyway, agrees that she needs to be on the diet.

My sisters' children all tested positive also, but they don't do the diet. Several of them have problems that are linked to celiac disease, though.

My advice about the food is to start with naturally gluten free treats. Meringues, Forgotten Cookies, for example. You can have ice cream and lots of chocolate candy unless you are giving up milk, too. Gluten Free Pantry makes a brownie mix that is better than a regular mix. You can use coconut oil instead of butter. There are lots of bad girlfriend mixes out there. It is usually better to make them from scratch and use a combination of girlfriend flours.

My nephews are very opposed to the girlfriend diet and say they don't like girlfriend food. Still, I have made treats that they have eaten and had seconds. I've taken girlfriend cupcakes to picnics and had them all eaten by kids who didn't know they were girlfriend. Another mom even asked me for one of my cookie recipes. She knew it was gluten free but her daughter went home and raved about them. It is possible to have good food.

As far as meals go, you can eat meat, eggs, veggies, fruits, rice, potatoes. All regular foods.

I'm not saying that it is your son's problem or only problem, but it could help and won't hurt. My daughter could control herself in public, but at home, she was pretty scary.

 

[HaoZi]

Soy milk is out there too. I hear it tastes fine

It's better than rice or almond milk, but it sure doesn't taste like regular milk, either. Lactaid did fine for me, but we seem to react more to high-fat milk than skim milk, so we just stick with skim.

 

[cubsgirl]

I don't have any advice, but want to offer a welcome! This is a great place to land when dealing with difficult children. I hope you get some respite. ((hugs))

 

[AnnieO]

It's better than rice or almond milk, but it sure doesn't taste like regular milk, either. Lactaid did fine for me, but we seem to react more to high-fat milk than skim milk, so we just stick with skim.

We usually have 2% around here - I cannot STAND the taste of whole milk. To me, it tastes like it's gone bad. Plus, I'm mildy lactose intolerant, so I avoid the stuff.

 

[HaoZi]

I hate all the thickeners that have been added to skim to make it taste more like whole milk. Whole milk is like drinking paint. Lately we've been getting the organic fat-free with Omega-3s added (how can it have those and be fat-free?). But we don't go through a lot of milk, she doesn't eat cereal and I rarely do, usually I just have a glass at night and sometimes she'll have a glass with her Special Dark syrup.

 

[Ash]

I am in the no milk camp. It does one over on the digestive system and I feel it responsible for many allergies, ear infections, resperatory problems and behavioral issues. My son has a milk protein allergy and we limit his dairy to only special treats.

 

[Last ♡ Hope]

He is inpatient right now so I'm frantically reading through the forums here trying to learn as much as I can, I didn't mean to abandon this thread, I've been down in the Special Education forum reading.

Do you think going dairy-free the first week and then gluten-free the next would be better, or both at once, or two weeks of each, separately? Or neither and get testing done first? If testing, what kind is best?

I feel like such a stranger in a strange land...

 

[HaoZi]

There are blood and stool tests for it. It's a very difficult diet to manage because so many things have hidden gluten or casein, so it's best to be certain. Diving into that without knowing how to properly replace needed nutrients can cause major health problems.

 

[TerryJ2]

Yes, we did a blood test for celiac. But beware of the dr.
The pediatrician's ofc told us it looked like a positive testing for celiac, and referred us to an expert. The expert said no, that's the old test and the old way of reading it. So your son (he says this in front of my son) isn't allergic to gluten and can eat whatever he wants. You can do whatever you want to do about it."
Arrrgh!
We still have a gluten free diet. I can see with-my own eyes what happens when my son has gluten.
Blood tests are only ONE way of finding answers and they are not always conclusive.