Hi, i'm new and need help

[jda413]

heres my story

i have been playing the mom role for 5 years now for an 11 year old boy. I am engaged to his father and there have been having problems since before I came in the picture. His bio mother has not been a part of his life since he was about 3. He has seen so many different therapists and medicine doctors, has been on so many different medications. Nothing seems to work for him. He lies consistently, is horribly disrespectful, has no remorse, will do what he wants when he wants, starts fights in school and with kids in the neighborhood, wont do homework or will half do it. We have recently taken him off medication because after meeting with his doctor we feel it is not doing anything for him. He has been diagnosed adhd then bipolar and now ODD. We cant punish him because nothing works he doesnt care. School is giving us a hard time because he is off medication. I tried explaining to them that all the behaviors that they are dealing with are not because he is off medications, these are all repeat behaviors and his "honeymoon period" is over, he is now comfortable this is what happens. He is in a 8-1-2 Special Education program he has an IEP. Im so struggling. Any suggestions?

 

[DammitJanet]

Hi, welcome to the board.

You say he has seen a ton of doctors and therapists and they have given him all these diagnosis which in your mind dont agree with each other. However, to me, they actually fall in line with each other.

I have been around the block for a long time dealing with kids with ADHD, bipolar and then myself who has bipolar.

Bipolar can have mania or hypomania which can look a whole lot like ADHD. The ODD behaviors are just part and parcel of a whole slew of behavior disorders although in a few children it can be the stand alone diagnosis.

Has your son ever had an evaluation from a multi-disciplinary team or a neuropsychologist? You would probably find either of these at a childrens hospital. This approach would give you the best chance of really finding out what is fueling his behaviors.

Most folks here recommend The Explosive Child book. I like The Defiant Child by Doug Riley. To each his own...lol.

 

[jda413]

"Has your son ever had an evaluation from a multi-disciplinary team or a neuropsychologist? "

How do I go about getting this done?

 

[DammitJanet]

Sorry I havent been back on...watching football.

I would ask my pediatrician for a referral to a local childrens hospital for this or you might just call a local childrens hospital and ask if they do them. Call the childrens psychiatric dept and ask. Then ask if they take your insurance and what is the referral process if any. Or you can call your insurance company and ask.