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<blockquote data-quote="Marguerite" data-source="post: 412363" data-attributes="member: 1991"><p>First step - your home has to be an alcohol-free zone. That means your husband has to give up his beer with dinner. It won't hurt him one little bit. tell him it is the sacrifice he must make for his daughter. Collect up the contents of your cellar, in entirety, and donate it somewhere or leave it at a friend's place. If people visiting your home are offended by your lack of alcohol in your hospitality, then already your house has been sending bad messages to your daughter. It is OK to be dry, if you need to be. </p><p></p><p>Your daughter has a huge addiction problem and you need to treat it as such. I also think the earlier assessment that she was OK after the abuse - wrong. We had a similar experience with easy child, and she was NOT fine. She still is not fine, even though she now has no memory of her abuse. She blocked it out and now wishes she had confided in us, so we could at least tell her what happened. All we knew of her incident 9she was 5 years old) was that a 7 yo boy in her class held her down, removed her underwear and told her he was going to have sex with her, and sex hurts. And if she told, he would send his father round to our house to kill me. Whatever else happened, she would clam up and say nothing. Would give no details. We do not know, but we suspect there was penetration, with objects if nothing else. </p><p>In our case easy child does not have an alcohol or drug problem, but uses food as a drug of choice.</p><p></p><p>Your daughter is heading for rock bottom and you can't prevent. She has to do it for herself. I would suggest you and your husband get yourselves to Al-Anon, fast. They will help you get on the same page. But he MUST work with you. If he reacts to the house alcohol ban by sneaking it in, then he will be demonstrating the very same behaviour you're trying to stop. You need to be a team in this and to agree on what to do.</p><p></p><p>Stick around. Sorry you need us, but glad we're here for you.</p><p></p><p>Marg</p><p></p><p>Marg</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Marguerite, post: 412363, member: 1991"] First step - your home has to be an alcohol-free zone. That means your husband has to give up his beer with dinner. It won't hurt him one little bit. tell him it is the sacrifice he must make for his daughter. Collect up the contents of your cellar, in entirety, and donate it somewhere or leave it at a friend's place. If people visiting your home are offended by your lack of alcohol in your hospitality, then already your house has been sending bad messages to your daughter. It is OK to be dry, if you need to be. Your daughter has a huge addiction problem and you need to treat it as such. I also think the earlier assessment that she was OK after the abuse - wrong. We had a similar experience with easy child, and she was NOT fine. She still is not fine, even though she now has no memory of her abuse. She blocked it out and now wishes she had confided in us, so we could at least tell her what happened. All we knew of her incident 9she was 5 years old) was that a 7 yo boy in her class held her down, removed her underwear and told her he was going to have sex with her, and sex hurts. And if she told, he would send his father round to our house to kill me. Whatever else happened, she would clam up and say nothing. Would give no details. We do not know, but we suspect there was penetration, with objects if nothing else. In our case easy child does not have an alcohol or drug problem, but uses food as a drug of choice. Your daughter is heading for rock bottom and you can't prevent. She has to do it for herself. I would suggest you and your husband get yourselves to Al-Anon, fast. They will help you get on the same page. But he MUST work with you. If he reacts to the house alcohol ban by sneaking it in, then he will be demonstrating the very same behaviour you're trying to stop. You need to be a team in this and to agree on what to do. Stick around. Sorry you need us, but glad we're here for you. Marg Marg [/QUOTE]
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