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<blockquote data-quote="Kat Serene" data-source="post: 412400" data-attributes="member: 11343"><p>Thanks for the suggestions. I have no issue making the house alcohol free. i drink so infrequently i personally wouldnt even miss it. but how do i prevent her from having friends get it for her? i know this has happened. do i not allow her to go to friends homes? do i prevent her from going to parties? not that she goes to a lot but probably once a month or two. these are generally house birthday parties. and 18 months from now when she goes into residence if by some miracle she makes it to university, how do i prevent her from over-indulging? its these kinds of questions that overwhelm and confound. they have to learn to be responsible in dealing with alcohol because its out there. clearly she lacks the ability to say no and that's what scares me because its all around us and readily available. seems once they turn 16, they have more rights than parents. the thought of letting her hit rock bottom and possibly being hurt scares me to death. maybe i'm just paranoid but she seems to be a magnet for misadventure, because of the choices she makes. </p><p></p><p>and while this isnt about me, i have to say that i'm neither a quitter nor a failure yet i feel like i've failed at the most important job of my life - that of being a mother. funny how that goes isn't it. my father and i were both raised by his parents (my parents abondonned me when i was 2 and i was raised by my grandparents). he's a high IQ alcoholic who is physically and emotionally abusive and has moved from one labour job to another while i am the complete opposite. 2 people raised by the same parents and very different. i am raising a clone of my father it seems. sorry, i'm just rambling now but i just feel so helpless and hopeless. i don't even know what to say anymore except thanks for listening and responding. i don't know that anything is a comfort but at least i know i'm not alone ...</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Kat Serene, post: 412400, member: 11343"] Thanks for the suggestions. I have no issue making the house alcohol free. i drink so infrequently i personally wouldnt even miss it. but how do i prevent her from having friends get it for her? i know this has happened. do i not allow her to go to friends homes? do i prevent her from going to parties? not that she goes to a lot but probably once a month or two. these are generally house birthday parties. and 18 months from now when she goes into residence if by some miracle she makes it to university, how do i prevent her from over-indulging? its these kinds of questions that overwhelm and confound. they have to learn to be responsible in dealing with alcohol because its out there. clearly she lacks the ability to say no and that's what scares me because its all around us and readily available. seems once they turn 16, they have more rights than parents. the thought of letting her hit rock bottom and possibly being hurt scares me to death. maybe i'm just paranoid but she seems to be a magnet for misadventure, because of the choices she makes. and while this isnt about me, i have to say that i'm neither a quitter nor a failure yet i feel like i've failed at the most important job of my life - that of being a mother. funny how that goes isn't it. my father and i were both raised by his parents (my parents abondonned me when i was 2 and i was raised by my grandparents). he's a high IQ alcoholic who is physically and emotionally abusive and has moved from one labour job to another while i am the complete opposite. 2 people raised by the same parents and very different. i am raising a clone of my father it seems. sorry, i'm just rambling now but i just feel so helpless and hopeless. i don't even know what to say anymore except thanks for listening and responding. i don't know that anything is a comfort but at least i know i'm not alone ... [/QUOTE]
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